Carnie Wilson has been in the news this week because she revealed that in January, she had a second bariatric procedure.
Carnie made headlines back in 1999 when she had Roux-en-Y gastric bypass surgery (the same procedure I had). Because of her openness regarding her journey, a lot of people were encouraged to go the same route she did and get the surgery themselves.
And now, 13 years later, she is dealing with her regain by having a lap band placed over her gastric pouch. And I say good for her.
The backlash to this latest surgery is very sad to me. Comments range from "get your lazy a** to a gym" to "how about putting the fork down and walking away" and "she took the easy way out again".
Once again..............people just. Don't. Get it. This is not about someone who needs to lose 30 pounds on Weight Watchers. It's not someone whose life would be awesome if she could just put down a second slice of pizza so she could get rid of the last stubborn 15 pounds of baby weight. We are not normal. It's a day-by-day fight not to slip down the rabbit hole and it's NOT the same as most people saying no to a doughnut at the office meeting. It's not the same. It's not the same. Lather, rinse, repeat.
While I feel for anyone who needs to lose weight (even 10 pounds isn't easy, trust me, I get that), the psyche of those of us who let it get to the point where we feel re-arranging our guts is the only answer to survival is just different. We think about food differently and need different levels of help dealing with it. I, personally, applaud her courage in not only concluding that she deserved and needed ongoing assistance in dealing with her addiction, but also her willingness to share it publicly absolutely knowing the terrible backlash that would be associated with her choice. To have bariatric surgery once is a controversy; to have it twice is unthinkable to those who haven't walked in her shoes.
Chronic food addiction is an incurable disease of the mind. It never goes away. Just like a supposedly "reformed" smoker may need several shots to get it right, an obese person needs the same sort of compassion and understanding. Rock stars go to rehab for drug and alcohol addition several times - what Carnie is doing is not much different. She is dealing with her addiction the best way she knows how in a way that works for her. And it is working...apparently she has lost 30 pounds since having the procedure.
GOOD FOR HER.
Her story is also a much-needed reminder that surgery is not a cure for obesity. There is always a chance of regaining some or all of the weight loss. I personally know someone who has had two procedures: a lap band many years ago and recently, a gastric bypass. Regain after surgery is particularly difficult. You think to yourself that if you fail after surgery, maybe you cannot succeed at anything. Some people who regain simply resign themselves to failure - at more than maintenance. So again, I applaud anyone who takes the bull by the horns and "regains" control of their lives. By any means necessary.
Kinda brings new meaning to that old sappy song, right?
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Sunday, March 18, 2012
The secret under our clothes
Good grief, it's been a while.
So did any of you watch TLC's The Real Skinny last Monday? I didn't watch till this weekend, but man...it was like watching me.
We follow two post-ops on their final journey to "normal" - the removal of the excess skin that oftentimes comes with massive weight loss. Sarah is 28 and was once almost 400 pounds. Chris is 41 and started out at 424. They have both reached a normal weight, but deal with the aftermath of what they did to their bodies every day when they look into the mirror.
They both get the dream procedure for most post-ops: The 360 circumferential body lift. YOWZA!!! If I ever win the lottery, this is the one. As their surgeon, Dr. J. Timothy Katzen, described, it's sort of like "cutting someone in half and putting them back together."
Sarah's story was especially poignant to me, since we look very similar naked. I know it's not what a lot of you want to hear, especially those just starting out, but it's the truth. It's the "secret under my clothes", as Chris said that people who have gone through massive weight loss - whether surgical or "natural" - hide every single day. Hide it from everyone but themselves, that is.
It's very difficult to explain how painful it is, psychologically, to be successful with your battle against obesity yet not to feel like you've completed the transformation because you are still ashamed of the way you look. It's hard to explain that to people who are not in the same boat. They think you're crazy. You should just be happy that you've lost all the weight and to them, you look great! Of course, they don't see you naked, right?
Sarah explained her daily routine stuffing her stomach skin down into her jeans. Of lifting the skin to wash underneath it; using powder to keep it dry and diaper rash ointment to soothe the inevitable rashes that occur (I have both in my bathroom right now). Of feeling it jerk and jiggle all over the place when you run. Chris talked about how it smacks him when he does jumping jacks or "hits the ground first" when he does a push-up. All of this is true, and the great majority of post-ops quietly deal with it every day.
It's worth mentioning that I never had these issues with my fat. It's the skin that's the problem. So that's the demoralizing part. You think the physical challenges of your life will be over when you lose weight. You think you'll be bursting to get into a bikini or wear shorts and halter tops. You think life will be normal, and it's not. It's still not. And that is heartbreaking for a lot of people. Sarah's first words in the recovery room were "Am I skinny yet?" This from someone who has lost more than 200 pounds.
Now I'm not about to sit here and tell you I cry into my Crystal Light every day about this. I don't. I am so grateful to have accomplished everything I have so far. I'm proud of myself and hey....I do look pretty damn good (with clothes on, anyway). But the excess skin does suck. It affects the way I shop, it affects the way I see myself and reminds me of what I let myself become. Of what I did to myself and my body. That hurts a lot. This is what I did to myself. It's my punishment for how I behaved for most of my life. Sarah said as much during the show and that's similar to how I feel, too.
Lately I have felt myself backsliding into bad habits that I know I need to get a grip on. I've had some regain this winter but the scale is starting to move back down. I know how to do this. Another reminder that I will never be done. That's ok; I just need to always remember it and not just when it's convenient for me. I made a promise to you all and to myself - in this blog - that I would never be one of those people who says "Before I knew what happened, I'd gained 50 pounds." So I need to get it together before that happens. Don't worry, we're not even close to that number! And we never will be!
One more thing then I'll stop: Those Weight Watchers commercials with Jennifer Hudson screeching in them grate on my nerves. Tired of it! Moving on....
So did any of you watch TLC's The Real Skinny last Monday? I didn't watch till this weekend, but man...it was like watching me.
We follow two post-ops on their final journey to "normal" - the removal of the excess skin that oftentimes comes with massive weight loss. Sarah is 28 and was once almost 400 pounds. Chris is 41 and started out at 424. They have both reached a normal weight, but deal with the aftermath of what they did to their bodies every day when they look into the mirror.
They both get the dream procedure for most post-ops: The 360 circumferential body lift. YOWZA!!! If I ever win the lottery, this is the one. As their surgeon, Dr. J. Timothy Katzen, described, it's sort of like "cutting someone in half and putting them back together."
Sarah's story was especially poignant to me, since we look very similar naked. I know it's not what a lot of you want to hear, especially those just starting out, but it's the truth. It's the "secret under my clothes", as Chris said that people who have gone through massive weight loss - whether surgical or "natural" - hide every single day. Hide it from everyone but themselves, that is.
It's very difficult to explain how painful it is, psychologically, to be successful with your battle against obesity yet not to feel like you've completed the transformation because you are still ashamed of the way you look. It's hard to explain that to people who are not in the same boat. They think you're crazy. You should just be happy that you've lost all the weight and to them, you look great! Of course, they don't see you naked, right?
Sarah explained her daily routine stuffing her stomach skin down into her jeans. Of lifting the skin to wash underneath it; using powder to keep it dry and diaper rash ointment to soothe the inevitable rashes that occur (I have both in my bathroom right now). Of feeling it jerk and jiggle all over the place when you run. Chris talked about how it smacks him when he does jumping jacks or "hits the ground first" when he does a push-up. All of this is true, and the great majority of post-ops quietly deal with it every day.
It's worth mentioning that I never had these issues with my fat. It's the skin that's the problem. So that's the demoralizing part. You think the physical challenges of your life will be over when you lose weight. You think you'll be bursting to get into a bikini or wear shorts and halter tops. You think life will be normal, and it's not. It's still not. And that is heartbreaking for a lot of people. Sarah's first words in the recovery room were "Am I skinny yet?" This from someone who has lost more than 200 pounds.
Now I'm not about to sit here and tell you I cry into my Crystal Light every day about this. I don't. I am so grateful to have accomplished everything I have so far. I'm proud of myself and hey....I do look pretty damn good (with clothes on, anyway). But the excess skin does suck. It affects the way I shop, it affects the way I see myself and reminds me of what I let myself become. Of what I did to myself and my body. That hurts a lot. This is what I did to myself. It's my punishment for how I behaved for most of my life. Sarah said as much during the show and that's similar to how I feel, too.
Lately I have felt myself backsliding into bad habits that I know I need to get a grip on. I've had some regain this winter but the scale is starting to move back down. I know how to do this. Another reminder that I will never be done. That's ok; I just need to always remember it and not just when it's convenient for me. I made a promise to you all and to myself - in this blog - that I would never be one of those people who says "Before I knew what happened, I'd gained 50 pounds." So I need to get it together before that happens. Don't worry, we're not even close to that number! And we never will be!
One more thing then I'll stop: Those Weight Watchers commercials with Jennifer Hudson screeching in them grate on my nerves. Tired of it! Moving on....
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