Wednesday, June 30, 2010

New in Nashville, part 4

After Demo's, we all stopped in at the convention center to see who was in the booths signing autographs. Well...they were closing up. Oops! Ok, so then the four of us split up because I wanted to do some more sightseeing. We again made plans to meet at the Chevy Stage in a little bit, this time to take in the LoCash Cowboys concert.

Erich and I stopped by the Ryman Auditorium and headed back down Broadway. I don't know what it was, but I was much hotter today than yesterday. There seemed to be a lot more people milling around and the heat was starting to get to me a bit. Not to the point where I wanted to stop, but I felt it more today. Erich agreed that it seemed hotter as well.

The sidewalk was so crowded you could barely move. I'd wanted to go down a few more blocks and turn up a side street - on our shuttle ride to LP Field the previous evening, I'd seen some shops I wanted to go into. But man...by the time we got up there, we pretty much turned around and came back because it took us so long and I didn't want to miss LoCash.

We went into Hall of Fame park and got some freebies, sat down and people-watched for a little bit. I could hear music coming from the Chevy Stage so we decided to go on over and grab a seat. Wellll, the place was completely packed. Erich and I stood there watching an act called Trailer Choir. OMG...they were awesome. I guess they were discovered by Toby Keith but I'll try not to hold that against them. *ahem* Erich said "This doesn't even sound like country music." No, it sure didn't. The following video isn't from their performance I saw, but they did sing it - and it's another of those 'country rap songs':



"Rockin' country," I said to Erich and again, he nodded and smiled.

After Vinny & company got finished, we searched the dispersing crowd for Deb & Beth. We found Bill again, almost in the same spot he was in for Bo's show the previous day. I saw Deb in about the third row so I made my way up to her and sat down. Erich opted to stay back with Bill. The only bad thing was, our seats were right in the sun. Yes, I got sunburned a bit - with SPF 70 on. Beth had already moved over to stand in a more shaded area, but I stayed with Deb and we rocked out to LoCash! MAN ALIVE!! Now I see what all the fuss was about!



I think my favorite part of the show (which I stood up for the entire time) was the very end when they did their usual tribute to the troops by singing a cover of "You Gotta Fight For Your Right To Party" - the troops fight for everyone's right to party, after all. LOL! Deb and I were rockin' out, jumping up and down with the band and crowd, having a ball. GAC's Storme Warren joined them onstage.

After LoCash, Erich and I decided to head back to the hotel with Deb & Beth. We wanted to go to a grocery store near the hotel to look for Bret Michael's Diet Snapple he created on The Apprentice - Trop-A-Rocka! I wanted some and my co-worker had asked me to pick up a pack for him as well. Deb also put in an order when she found out what we were up to. We also had some sugar-free Hawaiian Punch packets to pick up for my girl Randi back home (such things are not found in Canada..LOL). Plus we knew we had a long drive ahead of us in the morning and we needed to take it easy tonight.

I'd seen and done pretty much everything I wanted to do. I was really happy.

We ended up finding the Trop-A-Rocka and the Hawaiian Punch really easily so SCORE! The car thing started at the gas station.

Erich had complained the previous evening about how dim my dash lights were. I told him I'd never noticed it before and we soon forgot about it. Tonight, as we left a gas bar after filling up for our long trip home the next day, he mentioned it again.

"This isn't right," he said. "Something's wrong....alternator...something..." We were very close to the hotel - thank goodness. By the time we neared the driveway, he'd turned off the a/c, the radio, the lights - everything he possibly could. "It's the alternator," he said and sighed. "I know it."

We chugged into the parking lot of the hotel and backed into a space as we were already considering how to make it easy on the tow truck. I called AAA and was told that due to CMA Fest and the Bonnaroo Music & Arts Festival, that our wait for a tow might be longer than usual. That was fine, I insisted. If someone was stranded alongside the highway in this heat then by all means go get them first! At least we were safe and cool in a hotel room. I was very grateful that we decided to go back out and had not been on the highway the next morning when this happened. Nothing could happen till the morning anyway; it was about 10 p.m. on a Sunday night.

It was pretty frustrating to have an unexpected car repair but hey. It's an alternator. No seeing that one coming! We got it fixed nearby the next morning and were able to check out and get on the road by noon.

My husband makes friends wherever he goes. He got to talking with the garage owner and it turns out the man's wife is from Kitchener, Ontario! What an amazing coincidence. Another employee of the garage had lived in Barrie, Ontario for five years. Erich stopped in at an Auto Zone after he got the car fixed to pick up a few things and some random guy in there was from Romania (as is Erich) but had lived in Nashville for years! LOL! A Romanian redneck! Erich and I joke that's what he will become when we move down to Ohio. What a small world.

It sure was an eventful and fun-filled trip. I keep talking about my gratitude for my life now. I can't say it enough; my entire life is so different and so much better it's almost surreal. If you've never merely existed, it is sometimes more difficult to appreciate living.

Go and live your life out loud, people. Don't wait - there are no excuses!

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten


Tuesday, June 29, 2010

New in Nashville, part 3

As Erich and I waited for the show to start at LP Field, Bill came back to us to sit and chat for a bit. Bill is such a great friend and supporter. I don't know what I'd do without people like him in my life. Thank you for your kind words, big guy. Love you!

I have to admit that my knowledge of current country music is limited. I follow certain artists - Keith Urban, Taylor Swift, Rascal Flatts, Lady Antebellum, Trace Adkins - and yes, I do like some Carrie Underwood stuff as well. But I don't listen to country radio like I do rock radio; therefore, I didn't know much about the first few people up on stage that night. I was VERY pleasantly surprised by Randy Houser, the first act up on stage. WOW!! Loved, loved him. Not the best video, but this is the song that really caught my attention. I like "rockin' country" - that's how I tried to explain it to Erich - the difference between your grandpa's country and today's country.



The next two acts, Easton Corbin & Billy Currington, were good, too. The Zac Brown Band is completely awesome! But I was totally looking forward to Martina McBride and Rascal Flatts! I've always loved the two of them. Martina didn't disappoint. Man, she was incredible. Erich was totally impressed. I mentioned to him that she is called "The Voice" for a reason! Her performance of 'Broken Wing' completely brought the place to its feet and our reaction made her cry. She was so sweet and seemed really genuine.



Rascal Flatts! Dude! I love me some Rascal Flatts. I kept hoping they'd sing their song 'Bob that Head' because I freakin' love that song. I definitely 'bob my head' when I hear it. I categorize it as a "country rap song". Much like Garth Brooks' 'Ain't Goin' Down Till the Sun Comes Up'. Well....finally, last song, it starts up. I just let out a whoop and jumped up, singing and dancing along.

"Rockin' country!" I yelled to Erich and he smiled and nodded.

This video sucks, but it's all I could find. And if you've never heard the song, you can get a feel for it.



It was an AMAZING show and again, I am just so grateful I was there.

We walked over to the Limelight and had a seat waiting for the traffic to die down a bit - listening to some cover band blaring from inside - then caught a cab back to our hotel. Our driver was really great and knew just how to avoid the crazy traffic attempting to enter the freeway. Despite the crowds, his route to the hotel was the cheapest fare the whole weekend.

It was about 2 a.m. but we were starving so we got in the car and headed to a nearby Waffle House. It was packed with people who had the same yellow LP passes around their necks as we did. There were two empty chairs at the counter and everyone around us waiting for a table were like "If there's just two of you, go ahead and take them. Everyone else has more than two people." Awesome!

We also ate here the previous night. The waitress, with her VERY strong Southern accent, had asked Erich what "dreeesssing you wont for yer saaallad?" and he looked at her like she was speaking Swahili. I had to translate. English is Erich's, um, fifth or sixth language and Southern is a dialect he can't always interpret immediately. Tonight, I had to translate for our waitress. He ordered his hash browns a certain way (I can't remember now) but at Waffle House, there's actually a name for them. She looked at him blankly for a moment before I called the dish by its rightful name. Funny.

Falling into bed at 3 a.m. really super happy and tired in a good way was extremely gratifying. It's still something to me that I can do all this stuff and not be exhausted for five days straight. My recovery time is almost nil. I asked Erich if he had a good time today; it was a really busy day after all! We saw seven concerts along with a few stray singers and bands along the way, loads of shopping and laughing with good friends. He said yes right away, enthusiastically. I reminded him of "rockin' country" and he agreed. He liked the music. Most of it, anyway.

Earlier I asked him about Bo's Chevy Stage show and if he enjoyed the song "Get On & Ride". It's probably the most 'rock' sounding song on Bo's new CD and the one I thought he'd like the most. To my surprise, he said he liked "You Take Yourself With You" at the fan club party the best, which is VERY country! He said it had "meaning". Well. He always manages to surprise me.

We decided to skip Martina McBride's charity auction the next day. Bo was scheduled to appear but honestly...I was thinking what's he gonna do? Hold up an item, people will bid and that's it. I didn't know if I wanted to be up and downtown at 11 a.m. for that. Well, turned out he pretty much conducted the entire auction. Of course he did. FAIL for me. Pffft. Oh well. We were up and at 'em for the bull ride but it took FOREVER to find the damn place where it was being held! My god we were walking around downtown in a circle for about 30 minutes. Didn't even feel it. It's all good.

There were no seats when we finally did make it to the tent with the bull, but I decided to stand. And I did. Again with no problems.

Bo and a bull just don't mix, man. You could tell he didn't have a clue what he was doing. So he decided to do what he does best: Be cute. Be sweet. Be funny. Bo knows how to do that for sure. He stayed on for a full 3.2 seconds. I barely had time to snap a picture!



Afterwards, some of us stood around talking to him for a bit. He said "I got beat by a girl." LMAO! And he did! AGAIN! Another pretty blonde chick, too. I said "Yeah, but she beat her brother, too, so don't feel bad." He blamed that on sibling rivalry (they were the brother-sister singing duo The Roys). "Doesn't count!" he laughed. We backed off a bit so other fans could get their picture with him. I stood there for a while, just hanging out. In the past, I would've been parked on a seat and missed all this interaction.

I stood in line to get another picture. And once again, he greeted me with "Hi Cindy! How are you?" I love the way he says my name, with a slight Southern inflection on the 'in' part. *fangirly sigh* I told him I was fine, that I hated bugging him for another pic but we needed lots of updated pictures because all of ours were 200 pounds ago. He laughed and said...AGAIN..."yeah but you look great, though." If he keeps telling me that, I may sell everything I own and just follow him around like the Grateful Dead. I'm kidding. Really. Maybe.



Some of the girls were headed a couple blocks away to have lunch at Demo's, a well-known restaurant downtown. The 'couple blocks' part would've had me politely turning down invitations before but now I was ready to roll. So off we went with Deb & Jen. There were hills. No one told me that. LOL! No problem now but OMG, I would've been just so upset pre-op. Upset at MYSELF, that I couldn't keep up.

After we got to Demo's, we of course had to stand around and wait for a table. All of this is stuff that normal people don't even think about. But I really notice and celebrate how I can now join them in 'not thinking about it'.

It was great to sit and relax with a good meal and great conversation with friends. We ended up leaving with Deb and Beth, as Jen had to get back to her hotel. All of us were anxious to see the LoCash Cowboys at the Chevy Stage in a little while. LoCash are big with Bo fans (they shared a bill with him once and things took off from there) but neither Beth nor I had seen them live. As we made our way back over where we came from, I was walking along at one point and Erich said "Honey, you want to wait for the girls?" I had totally taken off and left Deb and Beth! OMG! I stopped and waited while they laughed at how they were having to keep up with me. It was one of those weird post-weight-loss moments.

I know I said this would be the final installment of the Nashville trip, but we're gonna have another one. Sorry! Hope you all can put up with my long-winded recap. LOL!

Monday, June 28, 2010

New in Nashville, part 2

So after the fan club party, we went over to the area of Nashville known as "The District". With plans made to meet up with our friends again for Bo's afternoon concert at the Chevy Stage outside the Bridgestone Arena, Erich and I took off to make like the tourists we were.

I've been to Nashville twice in the past and have had neither the time nor the energy to see much of the city except the routes to and from whichever venue I was heading to; and see whichever long-haired rock star happened to be headlining. So this time, I wanted to walk. I wanted to explore. We had a few hours before we knew we needed to get back to the Chevy Stage in order to get a good seat for Bo's show. Heading down Broadway towards 2nd Avenue, we just started winding in and out of the shops.

I might be kinda strange but I love tourist traps. Trap me. Go ahead. I know I'm being trapped and I don't really give a damn. I love looking at all the t-shirts, cheesy snow globes and whatever else some hole in the wall might offer to sell me. I had warned Erich beforehand: "I will probably go into every single shop." He told me to go ahead. And true to form, he just followed me around without a single complaint. He enjoyed himself, too. He likes the same things that I do, so we're good that way. But I know he was hot. Reaaallly hot. Me, I was fine but my husband was sorta melting. I stopped every now and then to reapply sunscreen but other than that, I was running full steam ahead.

My mother has been a country music fan my whole life and I thought about her a lot when I was in Nashville. She'd always talked about Fan Fair, which is what CMA Fest used to be called. I know she'd wanted to go when she was younger but to get my dad down there probably would've taken an act of Congress or something. I don't think she could take the heat and physical activity of it now, but I sure did wish she was there with me as we took in all the sites from the Ernest Tubb Record Shop to the Ryman Auditorium. As always, click to enlarge all pics:





Music has always been an important part of my life but even more so in the last five years, since Bo. I've learned a lot about the music business and I tell you, I have so much respect for musicians in general. When you walk down Broadway, you can literally hear dozens of bands and musicians - live music streaming out of every bar and restaurant along the way. Some, of course, are even playing ON the street. One kid in particular was blowing people away.



I felt really lucky to be able to walk around and soak in this atmosphere. Erich and I had a ball. We bought souvenirs - I got a pink Nashville t-shirt and a multi-colored rhinestone encrusted guitar necklace; Erich bought magnets. We stopped in at a burger joint and heard a honky-tonk cover band go from Alan Jackson to Lady Gaga in the span of 10 minutes. We got free Monster energy drinks, Dr. Pepper and McDonald's apple slices. And learned Bo really does have male fans! LOL! We still had our lanyards from the fan club party around our necks and as we walked past a table that was set up on the sidewalk, the guy manning the thing grabbed Erich and said "Bo Bice?? Where is he?? Is he playing somewhere??" Erich, like the good peep-in-training he is, said "Yeah! At the Chevy Stage up the street at 5:45." The guy asked if Bo would be doing autographs and I said "Yeah, he usually does. Just hang around after the show." And there you go.

I'm telling you I could've walked for hours. Well, I did. But I could've kept on going. Not tired. Not too hot. No pain. It's all good. The only time I got sweaty was when I got my picture taken with The Naked Cowboy. The man was dripping. Ew. But still...if the Naked Cowboy is in front of you, you stop. Right?



Let the record show two things: Number one, the hand-on-ass thing was HIS idea. And number two, my husband is a good sport. God love 'im.

We made our way back up to the Chevy Stage and looked for our friends but didn't see them anywhere. Of course, the place was lousy with peeps and we saw some up front (where else would they be?) so we stopped to talk to them. Well, there happened to be an empty seat right between two sweetie pies, Debbie & Sherry. Debbie offered me the chair and well, when someone offers me a front-row seat, I take it. Call me crazy. Again, my wonderful husband told me to have fun and went towards the middle of the crowd to sit with the aforementioned fantastic Mr. Bill.

The chairs made me uneasy. They were these flimsy folding things that I would never have even attempted to sit on pre-op. But I sat down gingerly and it was fine. Then I crossed my legs and the chair moved. I froze and widened my eyes. DOH! That was all I needed, to break a chair at this weight! LOL! Sherry & Debbie asked me if I was ok and I said yes, but the chair moved and made me flash back to a time when I would've been scared to death to sit in it. Sherry assured me "You don't have anything to worry about now." Then Bill came up and put my LP Field pass around my neck. I was totally ready to get my groove on.

Bo took the stage soon enough and again, the man is awesome. I got some great shots this time (much better lighting and my camera prefers natural light, to be honest). Bill had told us to head over to LP Field after the show, that we needed to get there early since it can be a hassle. We could get a free shuttle with our passes, though, so that was good. But then we noticed Bo was definitely coming out for pictures. Now, I need updated pictures. I want allll the pictures with Bo that I can get. So I told Erich, "I'm not leaving."

We stood there and waited as Bo made his way down the line, Patrick shouting at everyone to have their cameras ready. As he made his way to me, he smiled and said "Hi Cindy! You look great, you know that?" Again with the name and 'you look great' stuff. Geeze. I thanked him again and Erich took a quick snap. You can see Patrick behind us still bellowing "HAVE YOUR CAMERAS READY, PEOPLE!!" LOL! Patrick is ok, he really is a super guy. He just has to mind Bo because Bo, god love him, would stand there and talk to people till he was blue in the face if left to his own devices. We don't call him 'Ramblin' Bo' for nothing. And he does have a schedule to keep.









Erich and I made our way towards the shuttles and quickly got on for the air-conditioned ride across the river to LP Field. When we got to our seats, I couldn't believe it! WOW!! We were on the 'floor' in the 16th row. Amazing. I was so grateful. The tiny little chairs were tied together and for the first time, I actually fit into a single seat comfortably and wasn't worried about crowding anyone who might sit next to me.

I looked around the big stadium and was almost brought to tears by several things. The overwhelming generosity and support of my wonderful friends. The fact that I was even there, able-bodied and healthy, looking forward to the show and not thinking about how hot and tired I was, how my back and knees were killing me and all I wanted to do was get back to the hotel and lie down. This awesome man beside me who hates country music, doesn't really even like Bo Bice's music, was probably as hot as he'd ever been in his life but....loves ME enough to make me happy by driving 12 hours one way over a weekend with little sleep to bring me here so I could have joy and experiences I never thought I could have in my life just over a year ago.

Life is sweet.



Final part coming soon: Erich slowly converts to country (maybe) but still needs a translator; bull-riding Bo and LoCash Cowboys (yee-haw!); car trouble and Romanian rednecks...

Sunday, June 27, 2010

New in Nashville, part one

I have been so busy, I can't believe it's been so long since I've blogged. So much has happened! Let's start with Nashville.

As I prepared to go to Nashville for the tail end of CMA Fest, I thought about what to take with me. Sunscreen, check. New clothes, check. Flip-flops, check. Tickets for Bo's fan club party, check. Camera, check.

Then I was struck by some of the things I knew I would've needed pre-op but not so much this time: Arthritis, high blood pressure and diabetes medication. Cane. C-pap mask. Portable fan (for the room and outside). Durable walking shoes (ugly or not). I would've needed all that and probably still would've only been able to go to the fan club party and back to the hotel. Seriously.

The 12-hour drive alone would've doomed my body in the past. That kind of thing killed my back; we would've had to stop several times so I could walk around, delaying our arrival. This time, I actually split the drive with Erich and had no problems other than a bit of stiffness. But I walked that off in a few seconds. I wasn't really tired when we arrived, either.

Our room was on the second floor. Evidently, there was an elevator but we weren't told about that so we hoofed it up and down the stairs the whole time. No problems. Hell, I even carried my own luggage up by myself. That's a switch!

The next morning, we went downtown for the party. The cab dropped us off a little ways from the Limelight - meaning, we had to walk a bit. I said to Erich 'I would've been done right about now.' That small walk would've had me hurting, panting, sweating. It's hard to describe the little things like that. It's just such a different life. Things so many people take for granted that I now celebrate. People kept complaining about the heat but honestly, I didn't think it was that hot. I was warm, but fine. What I'm sure would've been unbearably oppressive and debilitating to me before was barely noticed now.

We stood in line to get in and greeted lots of friends. I got a bit pink standing out in the sun for 10 minutes. Yep. Now you know why I needed the sunscreen. People still crack me up when they see me. It's all 'you look wonderful!!' I love hearing it, I admit. I've worked hard and went through a lot to get to this point so I'm grateful for the acknowledgement.

All of Bo's 'peeps' like to say that 'we had a family reunion and a concert broke out'. That's an apt description of what it's like to be in the Bo Bice family. I think, at this point, seeing each other is just as important as seeing Bo. But he brought us all together and we're forever grateful to him for that.

Sweet Bill surprised Erich and me with passes to LP Field, the downtown stadium with huge acts playing nightly. HOLY CRAP!! It was incredible of him and honestly, like him to be so generous. It never occurred to me that I would be able to go to LP Field while we were there. He said he 'wanted to do something nice' and the 'opportunity presented itself'. Thank you Bill. You gave me an experience I will never forget.

So things were getting off to a great start! LOL!

Now, our wristbands had the number '1' on them, but I figured with my luck the numbers would start in the back or something. Nope. We were right up front! We mingled with everyone, had a nice catered brunch then Bo took the stage. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Until you see him live, you don't understand. He's the consummate performer and fills up the whole arena - small or large - with his charisma and talent. It was great, as usual.

I got some merchandise at this show! I rarely buy anything because well, I can't wear it. But this time I got an XL shirt that fits me perfectly. Actually, it's a tad big in the waist but I'm built so oddly now that I think a perfect fit is going to be a pipedream from now on. LOL! I also bought Erich a ballcap plus I got a bandanna. Why? I dunno. It was there. And it'll be good to tie onto my bag for shows and stuff. Erich loves that cap. He wears it all the time!

At the meet and greet after the show, I hoped to have an opportunity to speak to Bo without making an idiot of myself. That's usually the way it goes, really. The last time I saw him, in December, I tried to explain to him what I think his role is in my weight loss but didn't get anything out but to tell him that being his fan changed my life and to thank him. I never really got to go into detail because I goober'ed out (that's a Bo phrase). So this time, I walked up to him with a purpose. I didn't even let that smile of his make me goober. Nope.

I gave him a gift that my friend Nancy and I got for him, let him sign my fan - the one with his face on it that the fabulous Sue had made for all of us - then I told him I had lost over 200 pounds in the past year or so. He said 'wow', took a step back and gave me a once-over. I went on to say "And YOU had a lot to do with that. I was to the point where I was hobbling to your shows with a cane. I wanted to see you and my friends, just be NORMAL, so much that I said 'screw this' and did something about it." I swear I thought the man was going to cry. His forehead wrinkled up and he gasped as I told him that. Then he pulled me into a hug. He said "Oh, you don't know what that means to me. That's so awesome. I'll be praying for you. That's incredible." As he released me, I said again "You had a lot to do with this. So thank you. Thank you." He shook his head and said "That's, wow, that's so great, Cindy. You look great. Wow." I thanked him and he said "Well, I'll be looking for you at my shows. You better come see me." Um, YA THINK?? LOL! I started to walk away and he squeezed my shoulder. "Thank you, Cindy. I'll see you soon."

He tells me I look great, calls me by my name (twice) then tells me he'll be looking for me at his shows. He knows how to put asses in the seats, huh? LMAO! I'm kidding, I know he was sincere. It was a sweet moment with him and I'm happy I got the opportunity to talk to him.

Snapshots from the party (click to enlarge):

Before the performance:


Bo's performance:





Meet & greet:


Next up: After the party: Walking the streets of The District, yet another Bo show, and an unfathomable night at LP Field. Coming soon, I promise!

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Awakening in the Woods, part two

So I left off with the hike. It feels odd that I am writing about hiking. Or running. Or whatever it is that I'm doing these days.

As I said in my last installment, I've heard about Ravine Creek Trail ever since I've known Erich. Not that it's such a fantastic trail or anything, but he has been on it so many times that it pops up in stories he's told me of past adventures in camping. So I was a bit excited that I would be able to hike it with him this time.

After our trip into town and the climb up the lighthouse, we went back to camp and had lunch then took off for the trail. Generous amounts of bug spray were applied and since the beach is at the end of the trek, we took a beach bag with blanket, sunscreen, water, etc. Erich carried that, thank god. LOL!

There are steps at the entrance leading down into the woods. I stopped and said "It's at this point where I would've said 'yeah so why are we doing this again? we're not driving to the beach why?'" We both had a laugh then I took off down the steps (click all pics to enlarge).



Ravine Creek is just a few steps from the entrance and there's a wooden bridge to cross. Erich was in front of me and trotted over to the bridge. I got down the steps, came to a dead stop, looked around and just...lost it. I don't know what came over me. I started to speak and all I got out was "It's been so long..." before I bent at the waist and started to sob. Erich came back to comfort me. I swear, something just *POW* hit me like a ton of bricks. One second I was laughing and excited, then I felt like I was going to fall over from some sort of emotion that just overwhelmed me.

"Wow, I don't know where that came from," I said. And I didn't. It shook me up for a while. The more I think about it I guess it was just that I was there. I looked up and around all those trees and the creek and it took me back to my childhood exploring the woods on my family's property. I suppose in my subconscious mind, I never thought I'd see anything like that again because I'd never be able to physically get to a location such as that. Maybe the realization hit me that I can now do anything I want. I am free to do anything, go anywhere.

I never realized what I was missing out on when I was a prisoner in my own body. Over time I just accepted my limitations and pushed them out of my head. It would never occur to me to move. I mean...it just didn't, because I couldn't. And I got so used to believing - knowing - I couldn't that I never tried. I wasn't living my life. Now I'm going to live out loud, baby. Full speed ahead.

I brought the camera with me that day but was so messed up that I only took a few pictures further up the trail. We went back the next day so I could snap a few pictures of the scenes that caused me so much emotion. Not pain, but really a kind of relief and joy. I didn't realize it then but that's what it was. I wasn't hurting, I was having an out-of-heart experience on a level that's hard to explain.

Pictures from the scene of the awakening:



I decided after this trip that perhaps I need to go buy some shorts that fit. LOL! And no, I didn't hike with flip-flops on, this was the next day.

It was a pretty long hike over some hilly, rocky terrain. Not horrible, but my knees were kinda tapping on my shoulder after a while saying "Um, are we there yet?" I wasn't hot, tired or out of breath, but the knees were starting to cringe by the time we got to the beach. And the bugs! Lorda mercy. They feasted on me, that's for sure. I did apply bug spray but much like sunscreen, maybe it doesn't work too well for me!

We decided to walk on the road back to camp and man...I think all in all I did more walking that day than I've ever done in my life. But I felt good at the end of the night and was ready for bear the next morning. Even if I didn't get much sleep because the twenty-something guys camped next to us kept me awake with such lively conversations as 'who's the oldest chick you'd do it with?' 'what's the weirdest sexual position you've ever done'? and more lewd topics which I won't go into. Suffice it to say they sounded like they were right outside the tent and if I'd had children with me, I would've been throwing raccoons at them. The coons. Ah yes. Brave little suckers that crept around camp all weekend. They got my protein bars, the little asses!! *grumble*

It was a wonderful weekend that I'll remember forever. We decided we're going to try and go back before it gets cold. I told Erich I wasn't so sure about that trail because of the knee factor and he said "Yeah, but at least you can say you did it." He's right. I did it!

I've lost four pounds since I last reported my weight. I'm at 226. Four more and I will have officially gone from 444 to 222, losing 50% of my total body weight. Makes me feel like I'm on The Biggest Loser or something! LOL! That'll be a cool milestone when I hit it.

A side note: This is my 100th blog since I began it in February of 2009. I owe each and every one of my readers a HUGE thank you. This blog keeps me straight, keeps me sane, and I appreciate all the feedback you give me! Here's to 100 more!

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Awakening in the woods, part one

Erich and I celebrated our ninth anniversary by going camping in our favorite provincial park in the small town of Port Burwell, Ontario, on the northern shore of Lake Erie.

The last time we went, in May of 2007, was like a lifetime ago. We almost cancelled the whole thing because my knees were really starting to give me trouble and I was hobbling around with a cane. Earlier in the month, we had attended a Bo Bice concert in Buffalo at which I fainted from dehydration - a word to diabetics...do not forget to drink and eat when you're excited. I damn near missed Bo's show due to my own stupidity. I thought I'd injured my knee at that time because I really just went down with a *thud*, but come to find out there was very little cartilage to speak of - meaning, at age 37, I had what the doctors called "severe degenerative arthritis". They would look at my x-rays and cringe. That can never be a good thing.

Here's a picture of Erich and me at the Buffalo show where I fainted. I was not well and am now shocked at the way I look. I felt about the way I look, too. Tired, old, sick. (click to enlarge for all pics).



My poor husband had to do EVERYTHING during that first camping trip. He set up the tent by himself, unpacked the van by himself, collected water, cooked, did the dishes - all by himself. I could do very, very little. I remember him looking at me at one point and saying "You're miserable, aren't you?" Yes, I was. I felt old, fat, useless, guilty and not at all in the mood for a romantic weekend in the woods. It poured rain, too, which only further dampened my mood.

Of course, this time was different. I helped him unload everything and was so anxious to help him with the tent that I kept asking "Tell me what you want me to do", prompting him to hold up his hand and say "Give me a minute." LOL! But we got the tent and camp set up in a jiffy because I could help him. I felt really good about that, I must say.

The first thing I got excited about was my Normal Chair! Years ago, not long after we got married, Erich and I bought a couple collapsible chairs - one Canadian themed and one with a USA motif. Not thinking about weight limits at the time...I have never been able to sit in my USA chair. Till now. We scoured the Internet and stores in two countries to find me portable chairs to sit in when I weighed over 400 pounds. Most of the time, at first, I simply had to plop on a blanket. Here's a pic showing the two chairs behind me on a blanket at the beach:



And here's a pic of one of the chairs we finally found - this is a picture of my friends Paris and Nancy with me as we sat waiting for Lynyrd Skynyrd to start playing at an outdoor show in upstate NY. Slogging up that hill and barely making it was one of the several catalysts/light-bulb moments in 2008 that led me to have gastric bypass. Look at the supports on their chairs versus mine. Mine is industrial strength, baby!



And here's a pic of me last weekend finally sitting in the chair my husband bought for me about seven years ago.



We slept on an air mattress instead of the bed in the back of our conversion van just because well, I can! I can get up and down now without a problem. I froze to death, though - that was new. I was glad I brought sweats and a new sweatshirt I bought a couple months back. I had never owned things like sweatshirts and sweaters - I was never, ever cold before.

On Saturday we decided to explore the village a bit, visting the local maritime museum and historic lighthouse. I looovvee lighthouses, dude. I always wondered what it would be like to be at the top of one. Now, the one in Port Burwell isn't too terribly tall but I certainly never would've considered climbing it a year ago. Today, I couldn't wait to get up there! I took off up the stairs and giggled as the staircase got more and more narrow until we were basically crawling up a ladder. My god. I wouldn't have FIT up there before, if I had hoisted myself up the stairs to begin with. Erich took some snapshots, starting with me in front of the lighthouse:





When I got up there, I wasn't out of breath, wasn't sweating. It felt so good, I fumble for the words to describe it. Power and pride. That's all I can think of.

It was shaping up to be a great weekend already. Nearly every moment of the day I was consistently reminded of the new person I am. When I would walk to get fresh water. When I walked to go to the bathroom. When we walked around the village. When I sat in that chair. When I climbed that lighthouse, then wanted to do it again.

Next up was hiking. Lemme just tell you, Cindy has never "hiked" in her life. Like...why the hell would I do that? Seriously, that was the way I thought in the past. Why walk when I could drive?? DUH! Big red truck!! I mean, it was just obvious to me then and so sad to me now.

For years, I've heard Erich talk about a trail in Port Burwell that goes from the campgrounds to the beach. Literally, ever since I've known him. This is something I wanted to share with him. I hadn't been in the woods since I was a child, puttering around the seemingly endless "backyard" that surrounded my family's acreage in Southern Ohio. I just never had the energy, so I guess I faked the disinterest. I love nature, I do. But to get up from an easy chair and move my ass to see it? Nah, I'll pass. At least, I would've a year ago. Not today.

Something happened to me, emotionally, near the entrance of Ravine Creek Trail that I'll carry with me forever. It so startled me with its suddenness and intensity that it shook me up for a good long while afterwards. I'll save that story for my next blog.