I've lost a total of seven pounds since last Friday. I can't tell you how relieved that makes me! I was beginning to wonder what the hell was going on because in the previous four weeks, I'd only lost two. TWO.
But I've come to the conclusion that much like my brain, my body gets bored easily. If I do the same kind of workouts week after week, that number on the scale just shrugs at me. It's taken me a couple of plateaus to figure this out but I think I have it now. I just need to switch it up more often.
So my current weight is 233 - 39 pounds to my goal of 194.
For example, the last plateau I had was broken by my getting outside and walking as opposed to going to the gym all the time. This plateau was broken by...going back to the gym instead of walking outside all the time. LOL! I guess I need change more often. So that will be the goal from now on. I can't allow myself to get stuck in an exercise rut.
I admit as well that I let Sparkpeople slide, too. I mean...when you're only able to eat about 700-900 calories a day, why the hell would you keep track of that? It seemed silly to me. So I slacked off. But now that I can eat more, I need to get back on top of it. I was searching for answers as to why I wasn't losing weight so I went back to really tracking my meals, like I did pre-op. I found that I'm eating an average of 1100-1300 calories a day. Which is pretty much perfect so....good on me! I was told at my last check up at Henry Ford that I wasn't eating enough and needed to work up to 1200 a day. Done.
I was making myself crazy weighing in every day for a time during this last plateau. You get to a point where you want to see something different on the scale so badly that you almost convince yourself something is wrong with the scale itself and you keep checking it over and over. LOL! I finally put it out of my sight because that is nuts. I don't want to get psychotic over this crap. It was hard not to get discouraged but I kept focusing on all the good things happening to me now due to all the weight I've already lost. Just keep on keepin' on as the saying goes.
And sometimes I wonder if this last 50 pounds, for me, is like the last 10 for someone else. It's just really hard to get it off, like I've heard people say the 'last 10 pounds' is for them; people who have lost say, 50, and are trying to work off the last 10. Percentage wise, I sometimes think my LAST 50 is like that. I dunno, I'm probably just trying to make myself feel better. LOL!
Erich has also mentioned that I'm no doubt closer to my goal than I think I am due to all the excess skin I'm still carrying around. Yep. That's true. I know I'll never be able to afford to get rid of it so I guess I need to make friends with it. It's there and there's nothing I can do about it. I'd say it's a good 10-15 pounds worth so far and it'll only get worse.
My girl Ruby was on Oprah a while back discussing her decision to have plastic surgery to remove some of the skin. She was blinking back tears as she explained, "I'm exchanging fat for skin and skin for scars. I feel like I'm being punished for the rest of my life for what I did to my body. And it sucks." OMG, do I know how she feels!! Even when we lose the weight, it's not like we can celebrate with some slinky, skin-baring dress or whatever. Nope. If anything, I want to cover up more NOW than at 444 pounds. To me, the sag looks worse than the fat. MUCH worse. Someone said to me recently that they imagined I couldn't wait for swimsuit season. Well, it's not really like that. I always wanted to cover my thighs when I was in a bathing suit before; now I want to do that plus pull on a t-shirt. Imagine losing 211 pounds and thinking that, in some ways, you looked better before. That's totally where I'm at.
Not that I wouldn't love to exchange my skin for scars. LOL! That would be great. But Ruby is correct - we're never gonna look like the 'normal' people.
I try to keep telling myself that at least I'm healthy. The turkey neck, belly overhang and sagging skin on my legs and arms are the price I pay for that. I'm healthy and strong. So it's all good.
I scored some new clothes from a friend yesterday! She is a reader of this blog and lives in my town. We've become friends and I have to say I am sooo grateful to have met her. We're so much alike it's truly scary sometimes. LOL! She had her surgery in February but her old clothes are a lot of what I can wear now. But...about half were too big, I'm happy to say! We seem to have the same taste in clothes and her stuff was really awesome so I'm a happy camper! Those capris I have on in the pics below were hers. Heh.
I cut all my hair off Thursday night. It had the texture of cotton candy, so it had to go. Hair thinning and loss is a side effect of any drastic weight loss, but it's also a side effect of the gastric bypass surgery itself. Some people have no trouble with that but I haven't been so lucky. So I decided to just hack it off and start over. Supposedly, things start to return to normal about 12-18 months post-op. Everyone who's seen it loves it but Erich. He really, really doesn't like it. I'm hoping he'll get used to it!
What do you think? Not too bad. I like it more than I thought I would, actually!
You don't have to go out in a bathing suit. I just want to look better with clothes on, nevermind off. I've been going down that slippery slope of weight gain and I vow I won't let it happen. Too many damn vacations, and you just get lax about what you eat. Speaking of the last leg of weight loss, I've lost a good amount of weight quite a few times in my life and have never reached a goal weight. I just start gaining. So hang in there and don't let that happen.
ReplyDeleteI think you should pull some of your hair towards your face, make it look windblown. You have plenty of time to experiment with it.
I know you're right Sue and I feel badly sometimes griping about the way I look but it's how I feel.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I have any hair to pull towards my face. LOL! But yes, I still can experiment a little.
I think you look terrific. And I much prefer the shorter hair. Yours is curly so just muss it up when you blow dry it (gently) and it'll fluff around your face.
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p.s.: And start putting a few $$ aside every week for that surgery. You never know - maybe OHIP will help out now that the op is on the agenda.
http://www.ehow.com/how_5015352_facial-exercises.html
ReplyDeletehttp://www.thriftyfun.com/tf91886162.tip.html
The Richard Simmons' face exercises work. You can feel them. They are from his original book, "Never Say Diet" and are described/illustrated in it. I had the original book years ago and more recently picked up a paperback copy at a thrift store. You might find one online. It cannot hurt to give them a try and maybe you will feel better about your neck. I think you look lovely and I know you must feel so much better. -- Dani
Cindy,
ReplyDeleteThe transformation you have made is the most phenomenal I've ever seen, and I applaude you on your tenacity to reach your goal. Your pics tell a miraculous story.
As for the sagging skin, I'm dealing with a similar problem except that I'm small and short. When weighing in at the dr's office a couple of weeks ago, I weighed 119.8. I haven't weighed that since jr. high school! I weighed 145 when I was a senior, and dropped to 125-130 after my divorse in '79. I've maintained that weight all these years until the recent drop.
My point is that the accummulated weight loss shows just above my knees, and keeps getting worse over time. The wrinkles and sagging above my knees is hideous - multiple rows of sagging, baggy skin, and I don't want to go out in shorts, much less a bathing suit. I'm with Susan - we have focus on how good we look with our clothes on! And I don't care if they're out of style or not - when the occasion calls for it, I can't beat a pair of Leggs pantyhose to make my legs look normal.
Please know that I'm not suggesting my problem is any thing like yours -- its more like I can relate to your dilema, but on a smaller scale. In the long run, we all have to learn to work with the hand we're dealt, the best way we can - and not let it hinder us from living life to the fullest. Although I prefer my legs being fully covered, my little grandsons don't see my baggie knees and varicose veins...yet (!) and would rather I swim with them than not, so I'll continue with the pool memberships. It's just a few times a week, so "to hell with it!"
I love your hair, and I think it will benefit from the fresh start. You can remind Erich that hey, IT GROWS!
Cindy you are doing amazing, don't beat yourself up because that will do more harm than good. Let yourself live in the moment and be happy that you are healthy, the rest will follow! love ya girl
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