Thanks so much for all your comments, especially on my last entry. I was feeling really awful and knowing other people care makes a huge difference. My sweet Susan - I think you have a point. And I love you.
I went to my first support group meeting yesterday. Not a lot of people come in the summer, so many are busy with vacations and stuff, but it was really good anyway. We sat around and talked about the journey and what's bothering us. Good advice and open, sympathetic ears. I left feeling much better and pretty secure in the knowledge that I'm normal. LOL! What I'm going through is pretty par for the course. I just have to get through it. If you're going through hell, keep going, right? At some point, you'll make it out to the other side.
At the meeting yesterday, someone mentioned a blog called "The World According to Eggface". It's written by a gastric bypass patient and is chock-full of nutrition advice, recipes and just plain ole common sense. I checked it out and it's FANTASTIC. If you're a gastric bypass patient, you need to read this blog. Or even if you're not! http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/ This woman has pizza recipes for post-op lifestyles and a pizza porn photo gallery. My kinda chick!
It's weird how I felt better in the first couple weeks after the surgery than I do now. I felt good then. Now I'm exhausted, nauseated and a bit irritable. I know that's all normal but it kinda seems ass-backwards to me. I remember when I first got home, I had the energy and desire to clean up around the house and get some things done that had gone neglected for a while. Now I could care less. I guess the only way to snap out of it is to just DO it. So this week I'm going to really make an effort to trick my mind into thinking I'm ok. I really do think this is that 'hibernation period' I've read so much about. The group leader at yesterday's meeting said "All you want to do is sleep, right?" Yep! That's me right now, and it won't do. I guess my body's figured out there is no more food coming and it wants to conserve energy. I need to be finished with letting my body control me, I need to control it. So it's a battle of wills. Heh. I plan to win.
On another note, LORDA MERCY I miss Bo Bice! *sigh* I would give anything to be with my friends in Maryland tomorrow night. I actually think either a Bo show or just seeing some of my friends would do a lot to help me right now. But it ain't happening so I'll suck it up and drool over the pics and video. VIDEO. Hear that Lecia? ;-)
Monday, July 27, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Can I rant?
I'm starting to get into a WTF mood on this journey. First of all, I'm queasy a lot of the time. I have no idea why but I really hope it passes soon. I emailed the nutritionist at Henry Ford about this and she said that might be a symptom of dumping. No. I am not dumping. I'M NOT EATING ANYTHING. So I can't be dumping. Plus there are no other symptoms except nausea. *sigh*
I'm still trying to experiment with one new food daily. I'm scared to death to eat much of anything new, though, because I don't want the nausea to get worse and I really am terrified of dumping.
The water is such a challenge for me. I have always drank a lot of liquids. I always have been a big water drinker. But I'm used to being able to quench my thirst. I'm thirsty now most of the time because I'd love to down a great big glass of water but I can't do that. One or two ounces at a time only. That's not enough. I've made the mistake of drinking too much at one time and it produces and funny, full, odd feeling. I'm not getting in enough liquids but it feels like I'm sipping the damn one or two ounces at a time all freakin' day long - except 30 mins. before and after meals, which is very hard. It doesn't matter if I'm thirsty, doesn't matter if I want a drink with meals - I can't have it when I want it. I have to be on this schedule. It's starting to piss me off.
I'm so tired of walking I could scream. Walk, walk, walk. GAH!! It's so boring. Yes, I listen to music while I walk. Yes, I vary my route. Still boring. I can't wait till I'm allowed to get back in the pool. Holy crap.
I lost 7 lbs. this week. Really? That's it? I guess I'm expecting more. Again, I'M NOT EATING ANYTHING. And walking to the moon and back. Seven lbs.?? Not good enough. Seven lbs. pre-op was awesome; seven lbs. now, to me, is a disappointment.
I had the first feelings over the past several days thinking maybe I made a mistake doing this. I think a lot of gastric bypass patients feel that way at some point in the process but I dunno...I'm just in a bad place right now I guess. Maybe it's the fabled, temporary post-op depression setting in. I really am trying to remain positive but it's a tough battle some days.
I've found a gastric bypass support group here in Kitchener-Waterloo and will go to my first meeting tomorrow. I think it's probably good timing.
Erich and I are going to see the new horror movie 'Orphan' this afternoon. I'm hoping that'll cheer me up! I love, love scary movies. It'll take my mind off things for a couple hours. I know things will get better; I'm stronger than I think I am.
I'm still trying to experiment with one new food daily. I'm scared to death to eat much of anything new, though, because I don't want the nausea to get worse and I really am terrified of dumping.
The water is such a challenge for me. I have always drank a lot of liquids. I always have been a big water drinker. But I'm used to being able to quench my thirst. I'm thirsty now most of the time because I'd love to down a great big glass of water but I can't do that. One or two ounces at a time only. That's not enough. I've made the mistake of drinking too much at one time and it produces and funny, full, odd feeling. I'm not getting in enough liquids but it feels like I'm sipping the damn one or two ounces at a time all freakin' day long - except 30 mins. before and after meals, which is very hard. It doesn't matter if I'm thirsty, doesn't matter if I want a drink with meals - I can't have it when I want it. I have to be on this schedule. It's starting to piss me off.
I'm so tired of walking I could scream. Walk, walk, walk. GAH!! It's so boring. Yes, I listen to music while I walk. Yes, I vary my route. Still boring. I can't wait till I'm allowed to get back in the pool. Holy crap.
I lost 7 lbs. this week. Really? That's it? I guess I'm expecting more. Again, I'M NOT EATING ANYTHING. And walking to the moon and back. Seven lbs.?? Not good enough. Seven lbs. pre-op was awesome; seven lbs. now, to me, is a disappointment.
I had the first feelings over the past several days thinking maybe I made a mistake doing this. I think a lot of gastric bypass patients feel that way at some point in the process but I dunno...I'm just in a bad place right now I guess. Maybe it's the fabled, temporary post-op depression setting in. I really am trying to remain positive but it's a tough battle some days.
I've found a gastric bypass support group here in Kitchener-Waterloo and will go to my first meeting tomorrow. I think it's probably good timing.
Erich and I are going to see the new horror movie 'Orphan' this afternoon. I'm hoping that'll cheer me up! I love, love scary movies. It'll take my mind off things for a couple hours. I know things will get better; I'm stronger than I think I am.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
A picture says a thousand words
Well, I was supposed to go see Dr. Genaw today for my first follow-up appointment. Problem. I get to the other side of London (about 90 mins. away from home) and it hits me: I don't have my passport. Picture a woman screaming at the top of her lungs while driving down Canada's busiest highway. Yeah.
I was so busy gathering everything else I needed that I forgot the most important thing!
It would've done me no good to go home, get it and drive back to Detroit. It would've been way too late. So I called to reschedule and found out Dr. Genaw is not in next week so I have to see his colleague Dr. Carlin. Ok, I can handle that. *sigh* Only thing is, I was really hoping to get on their scale and see my true weight loss. Oh well.
I can't resist getting on my scale now. I need to stop and just get on it once a week, but it's hard! I've lost another few pounds over the weekend, despite the reappearance of psycho cycle. I'm thinking those last few days of the week where I was so tired and my blood sugar so low, might've been PMS. Fatigue and ravenous hunger are definitely two side effects I deal with every month. I'm sure my body was like "Where the hell are the Reese cups?? Where the hell is the freakin' pizza??" I was looking for a gastric-bypass-related answer but I'm not so sure now. Everything seems to be back to normal at this point.
I was looking at pics on my computer today and came across this true "before" picture. This is when I was at my heaviest. The picture was taken in November 2003. And I'm going to be totally honest, I was most likely pushing 500 pounds at that point though I really have no idea how much I weighed then. There weren't any scales, even at the doctor's office, that would weigh me. I was diagnosed with diabetes about a year later (?) and lost quite a bit (still, have no idea how much). When I started following Bo all over the place, I was starting to gain it back some, but still smaller than I was in this pic.
Dec. 2003 (click to enlarge):
Scary stuff, huh?
This is me yesterday: (click to enlarge)
I'm getting there. It'll take me a while, but one day, that woman in the first pic, and even the one in this last one, will be gone for good.
I've had a lot of people ask me why I had the surgery, why I didn't just "keep going" since I was doing so well pre-op. Well, here's the thing. I have lost 50 pounds over and over and over in my adult life. 50 pounds is a lot, yes, but to me it's a very small drop in the bucket. I was scared of failing again (i.e., gaining it all back and then some). As Dr. Phil says...the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. Sure, maybe I could lose all this on my own. I don't know and I never will know. But I do know this: the gastric bypass is the one 'tool' I've never used to try to - finally - reach a healthy weight. In the past, I've tended to lose some then get bored or whatever and give up. And I could feel myself starting to think that way. It got harder and harder to stick to a healthy eating plan and drag myself to the pool. I had real doubts that I could keep up that pace long enough to lose all this weight. So I made the decision to go ahead with the surgery because I want a real chance to succeed this time. I'm almost 40; I need to stop playing around and get this weight off me.
I don't ever want to forget the woman in the first picture but she has to go. For good this time.
I was so busy gathering everything else I needed that I forgot the most important thing!
It would've done me no good to go home, get it and drive back to Detroit. It would've been way too late. So I called to reschedule and found out Dr. Genaw is not in next week so I have to see his colleague Dr. Carlin. Ok, I can handle that. *sigh* Only thing is, I was really hoping to get on their scale and see my true weight loss. Oh well.
I can't resist getting on my scale now. I need to stop and just get on it once a week, but it's hard! I've lost another few pounds over the weekend, despite the reappearance of psycho cycle. I'm thinking those last few days of the week where I was so tired and my blood sugar so low, might've been PMS. Fatigue and ravenous hunger are definitely two side effects I deal with every month. I'm sure my body was like "Where the hell are the Reese cups?? Where the hell is the freakin' pizza??" I was looking for a gastric-bypass-related answer but I'm not so sure now. Everything seems to be back to normal at this point.
I was looking at pics on my computer today and came across this true "before" picture. This is when I was at my heaviest. The picture was taken in November 2003. And I'm going to be totally honest, I was most likely pushing 500 pounds at that point though I really have no idea how much I weighed then. There weren't any scales, even at the doctor's office, that would weigh me. I was diagnosed with diabetes about a year later (?) and lost quite a bit (still, have no idea how much). When I started following Bo all over the place, I was starting to gain it back some, but still smaller than I was in this pic.
Dec. 2003 (click to enlarge):
Scary stuff, huh?
This is me yesterday: (click to enlarge)
I'm getting there. It'll take me a while, but one day, that woman in the first pic, and even the one in this last one, will be gone for good.
I've had a lot of people ask me why I had the surgery, why I didn't just "keep going" since I was doing so well pre-op. Well, here's the thing. I have lost 50 pounds over and over and over in my adult life. 50 pounds is a lot, yes, but to me it's a very small drop in the bucket. I was scared of failing again (i.e., gaining it all back and then some). As Dr. Phil says...the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. Sure, maybe I could lose all this on my own. I don't know and I never will know. But I do know this: the gastric bypass is the one 'tool' I've never used to try to - finally - reach a healthy weight. In the past, I've tended to lose some then get bored or whatever and give up. And I could feel myself starting to think that way. It got harder and harder to stick to a healthy eating plan and drag myself to the pool. I had real doubts that I could keep up that pace long enough to lose all this weight. So I made the decision to go ahead with the surgery because I want a real chance to succeed this time. I'm almost 40; I need to stop playing around and get this weight off me.
I don't ever want to forget the woman in the first picture but she has to go. For good this time.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Sick and tired
First of all, my apologies for the previous blog! I know I was a hot mess when I wrote it. Lesson learned - think first, write later. I wanted to share my 18-lb. weight loss while also explaining my confusion over the total weight lost. I guess I didn't do a very good job! LOL! Well, I'm back at Henry Ford on Wednesday so we'll find out the real number then. I'm sure their scale is much more accurate than mine.
I haven't felt very well the past couple of days. Nauseated and tired, it's everything I can do to go out for my walks. I know I'm not eating enough - we're supposed to build up to 700-900 calories a day and I'm averaging about 400. I'm not sure how much to add; I don't want to stretch my pouch and lord knows I'm not hungry. My dr. cut my metformin (my diabetes medication) in half when I came back from Detroit, but man...my sugar is so low, that I'm going to experiment with not taking it at all. I think the fatigue I'm feeling might have something to do with the low blood sugar. I'm skipping my dosage today and will see what happens.
I am getting in all my supplements and protein, though. Protein was worrisome at first; I don't want all my hair to fall out and protein deficiency contributes to that. It's an issue with gastric bypass patients, the hair loss. I'm worried about that! My hair is the one thing I know I have going for me (I can make it look good if I want to) and I don't want to lose it. It's already much thinner than it was say, 10 years ago. But I put a scoop of Isoflex in my smoothie in the morning plus a scoop to my Crystal Light during the day and I am able to get in about 75 grams. We are supposed to have 60-80 grams a day. Actually eating FOOD instead of liquids also ups the protein content.
Supplements are no biggie for me. I've been a professional pill taker for years now.
Water is a whole 'nother issue. I'm not getting in the 64 oz. a day. It seems like I'm sipping all the time, but I'm only getting in a little over half of that amount. It's a gradual process I suppose. I'll keep working on it.
I am used to taking a diuretic every day. It keeps my blood pressure down and keeps me from being bloated. They took me off that because gastric bypass patients tend to dehydrate easily anyway - the theory is, I guess, that we don't need the "help" of a diuretic. Well, I miss mine! Especially with my pre-op weight loss, I was getting used to having ankles again! My fingers and feet are a bit bloated. Sucks!!
I sure wish I could see the light at the end of the tunnel and I could know, for certainty, that this is all worth it. I'm sure it will be, it's just hard to see it sometimes. What was my mantra again? I'm stronger than I think I am. Right.
I haven't felt very well the past couple of days. Nauseated and tired, it's everything I can do to go out for my walks. I know I'm not eating enough - we're supposed to build up to 700-900 calories a day and I'm averaging about 400. I'm not sure how much to add; I don't want to stretch my pouch and lord knows I'm not hungry. My dr. cut my metformin (my diabetes medication) in half when I came back from Detroit, but man...my sugar is so low, that I'm going to experiment with not taking it at all. I think the fatigue I'm feeling might have something to do with the low blood sugar. I'm skipping my dosage today and will see what happens.
I am getting in all my supplements and protein, though. Protein was worrisome at first; I don't want all my hair to fall out and protein deficiency contributes to that. It's an issue with gastric bypass patients, the hair loss. I'm worried about that! My hair is the one thing I know I have going for me (I can make it look good if I want to) and I don't want to lose it. It's already much thinner than it was say, 10 years ago. But I put a scoop of Isoflex in my smoothie in the morning plus a scoop to my Crystal Light during the day and I am able to get in about 75 grams. We are supposed to have 60-80 grams a day. Actually eating FOOD instead of liquids also ups the protein content.
Supplements are no biggie for me. I've been a professional pill taker for years now.
Water is a whole 'nother issue. I'm not getting in the 64 oz. a day. It seems like I'm sipping all the time, but I'm only getting in a little over half of that amount. It's a gradual process I suppose. I'll keep working on it.
I am used to taking a diuretic every day. It keeps my blood pressure down and keeps me from being bloated. They took me off that because gastric bypass patients tend to dehydrate easily anyway - the theory is, I guess, that we don't need the "help" of a diuretic. Well, I miss mine! Especially with my pre-op weight loss, I was getting used to having ankles again! My fingers and feet are a bit bloated. Sucks!!
I sure wish I could see the light at the end of the tunnel and I could know, for certainty, that this is all worth it. I'm sure it will be, it's just hard to see it sometimes. What was my mantra again? I'm stronger than I think I am. Right.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Confused?
When I got on the scale last Friday after I returned from Detroit, I knew to expect a gain. I had been pumped full of fluids all week and blown up like a balloon on an operating table. I remember when Erich first gave me back my wedding set the day after my surgery, I couldn't even get it past my knuckle. And those rings were getting pretty loose pre-op! Well, the scale didn't lie - I'd gained nine pounds. I just sorta stepped off it and shrugged, hoping it would come off quickly.
The scales in my surgeon's office are not the same as mine, predictably. Usually they're about seven pounds heavier. When I weighed myself here at home before we went to Detroit, there was only a two-pound difference (heavier on their end). Very odd. I'm not sure how to measure it now, since the 7-lb. gap turned into a 2-lb. one....something has happened with my calculations and for some reason, the total pounds lost don't match. Their scales say I've lost more than mine, total. Unless I'd lost more the morning of my Detroit weigh-in and of course, wasn't home to match up the numbers.
So my scales, this morning, tell me I've lost 18 pounds this week. At this point, I'm so confused that I'm pretty sure that's good, but my total weight loss is escaping me. Nine pounds of it is probably water/gas weight. So that would mean I'm nine pounds to the good. Which should mean a total loss of 82 lbs....but when I subtract my present weight from my starting weight (using my scales as the measuring stick), it's only 75. If I use the surgeon's starting weight and their scales as a measuring stick, tacking on the extra 2 lbs., it's 83. WTF???
I'm horrible at math. This is why I majored in English in college. And somewhere along the line, I've screwed this up.
I go see Dr. Genaw Wednesday for my follow-up and I'm tempted to take my scales with me, step on them first then step on his. I dunno. But anyway, I have lost some weight this week so I'm happy with that. :)
Did I sound like Rambling Bo? Sorry about that!
The scales in my surgeon's office are not the same as mine, predictably. Usually they're about seven pounds heavier. When I weighed myself here at home before we went to Detroit, there was only a two-pound difference (heavier on their end). Very odd. I'm not sure how to measure it now, since the 7-lb. gap turned into a 2-lb. one....something has happened with my calculations and for some reason, the total pounds lost don't match. Their scales say I've lost more than mine, total. Unless I'd lost more the morning of my Detroit weigh-in and of course, wasn't home to match up the numbers.
So my scales, this morning, tell me I've lost 18 pounds this week. At this point, I'm so confused that I'm pretty sure that's good, but my total weight loss is escaping me. Nine pounds of it is probably water/gas weight. So that would mean I'm nine pounds to the good. Which should mean a total loss of 82 lbs....but when I subtract my present weight from my starting weight (using my scales as the measuring stick), it's only 75. If I use the surgeon's starting weight and their scales as a measuring stick, tacking on the extra 2 lbs., it's 83. WTF???
I'm horrible at math. This is why I majored in English in college. And somewhere along the line, I've screwed this up.
I go see Dr. Genaw Wednesday for my follow-up and I'm tempted to take my scales with me, step on them first then step on his. I dunno. But anyway, I have lost some weight this week so I'm happy with that. :)
Did I sound like Rambling Bo? Sorry about that!
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Cravings, brain bypass and weirdness
I feel a little queasy today, though I'm not sure why. I moved onto stage 3 of the post-surgery diet today. That means I can have things like scrambled eggs, thinned mashed potatoes, canned tuna - even crackers and cooked/canned fruit & veggies. Almost like a normal diet! We are only supposed to try one new food a day. I had one scrambled egg for lunch and it went down fine. I felt wonky before that - the egg didn't make the wonkiness worse. Weird, but I feel funny. Not funny ha-ha, either.
I went for my first 10-min. walk this morning and came back with cramps in my side and stomach area. My mother suggested perhaps I was going too fast. Could be. I know in Detroit, everywhere we walked Erich kept telling me, "No one's chasing us...slow down." I'm so used to practically jogging when I walked for exercise BEFORE the surgery that I may have needed reminded that I just had surgery and um, maybe slow down a touch.
I noticed over the weekend that I was having cravings for stuff I don't normally eat. I think it's the I-know-I-can't-have-it-so-I-want-it syndrome. I saw a bag of Funyons on tv and thought "OH!!! FUNYONS!!!" Now I can't tell you the last time I've bought a bag of Funyons. Or cheese-filled Ritz crackers. Or pretzels! (I don't even like pretzels that much.) Or ice cream. I never crave ice cream. I have an urge to sit down with a block of sharp cheddar or colby, sourdough bread and fresh fruit. Um...I don't think I've ever done that in my life.
It's odd and I hope it passes soon. Gastric bypass patients are warned of a "hibernation period" setting in a couple weeks post op where you get a little depressed and all you want to do is sleep. I read in a book about a woman posting on a message board that, at 6 weeks post op, she still cried at Whopper commercials. Unfortunately, I can understand that (though I haven't shed any tears for missed food yet). But I guess we're too new in the process to understand how, when we are at goal weight, we will look back and shake our heads at how we could be so attached to something that was slowly killing us. Cry? No, we should be angry at the damn Whopper! I hope I can remember that when the time comes.
I tell you what has made me cry - seeing other morbidly obese people. The day we got back to town, Erich and I went to the local hospital pharmacy to get one of my post-op meds (evidently it's very hard to find here) and when we parked, this woman walked in front of the car. I drew a sharp breath and my heart broke for her. I don't mean that I felt pity. I did, I guess, but I just felt such empathy and emotion for her. I wanted to help her. She was bigger than I ever was and struggling to get across the lot. She had on capri-length pants and I could see that her shins were horribly discoloured, the result of poor circulation. Her shirt didn't fit, but I knew that wasn't her fault; where in the world could she find one that did? I can't. Not here - I shop in the States, online or my mother-in-law sews my tops for me. There was a landscaping crew a few feet away, a bunch of young, good-looking, in-shape kids. I caught her glance over at them and I knew exactly what she was thinking: "I hope they don't laugh at me. Just let me get past them invisibly." It's ironic that the bigger you become, the more you pray to be unseen. I gotta tell ya, if any of those kids had so much as CHUCKLED, I would've been out of that car and on them like white on rice. I stared at her as she made her way past them, out of my sight. No laughing, and I'm sure my sigh of relief matched hers.
I so wanted to go to her and tell her about my surgery. I wanted to give her some clothes that were long enough to cover her belly so she could feel better about herself. I felt for her immensely and I cried for her. I'm crying for her now. Of course, I'm crying for me a little, too.
There's so much to deal with emotionally that the physical part is almost easy. We almost need a brain bypass to go along with the gastric bypass! I've been told that when you lose all the weight, you don't know what to do with yourself. It takes a long time for the brain to catch up with your new body. To enjoy a meal out on the patio with friends; you will fit in the little chair and you won't break it. To realize it's ok to get on a carnival ride; the safety bar will fit over you. It takes time not to think about those things anymore. So many things that regular folk take for granted.
I'm looking forward to that new life. I really, really am!
I went for my first 10-min. walk this morning and came back with cramps in my side and stomach area. My mother suggested perhaps I was going too fast. Could be. I know in Detroit, everywhere we walked Erich kept telling me, "No one's chasing us...slow down." I'm so used to practically jogging when I walked for exercise BEFORE the surgery that I may have needed reminded that I just had surgery and um, maybe slow down a touch.
I noticed over the weekend that I was having cravings for stuff I don't normally eat. I think it's the I-know-I-can't-have-it-so-I-want-it syndrome. I saw a bag of Funyons on tv and thought "OH!!! FUNYONS!!!" Now I can't tell you the last time I've bought a bag of Funyons. Or cheese-filled Ritz crackers. Or pretzels! (I don't even like pretzels that much.) Or ice cream. I never crave ice cream. I have an urge to sit down with a block of sharp cheddar or colby, sourdough bread and fresh fruit. Um...I don't think I've ever done that in my life.
It's odd and I hope it passes soon. Gastric bypass patients are warned of a "hibernation period" setting in a couple weeks post op where you get a little depressed and all you want to do is sleep. I read in a book about a woman posting on a message board that, at 6 weeks post op, she still cried at Whopper commercials. Unfortunately, I can understand that (though I haven't shed any tears for missed food yet). But I guess we're too new in the process to understand how, when we are at goal weight, we will look back and shake our heads at how we could be so attached to something that was slowly killing us. Cry? No, we should be angry at the damn Whopper! I hope I can remember that when the time comes.
I tell you what has made me cry - seeing other morbidly obese people. The day we got back to town, Erich and I went to the local hospital pharmacy to get one of my post-op meds (evidently it's very hard to find here) and when we parked, this woman walked in front of the car. I drew a sharp breath and my heart broke for her. I don't mean that I felt pity. I did, I guess, but I just felt such empathy and emotion for her. I wanted to help her. She was bigger than I ever was and struggling to get across the lot. She had on capri-length pants and I could see that her shins were horribly discoloured, the result of poor circulation. Her shirt didn't fit, but I knew that wasn't her fault; where in the world could she find one that did? I can't. Not here - I shop in the States, online or my mother-in-law sews my tops for me. There was a landscaping crew a few feet away, a bunch of young, good-looking, in-shape kids. I caught her glance over at them and I knew exactly what she was thinking: "I hope they don't laugh at me. Just let me get past them invisibly." It's ironic that the bigger you become, the more you pray to be unseen. I gotta tell ya, if any of those kids had so much as CHUCKLED, I would've been out of that car and on them like white on rice. I stared at her as she made her way past them, out of my sight. No laughing, and I'm sure my sigh of relief matched hers.
I so wanted to go to her and tell her about my surgery. I wanted to give her some clothes that were long enough to cover her belly so she could feel better about herself. I felt for her immensely and I cried for her. I'm crying for her now. Of course, I'm crying for me a little, too.
There's so much to deal with emotionally that the physical part is almost easy. We almost need a brain bypass to go along with the gastric bypass! I've been told that when you lose all the weight, you don't know what to do with yourself. It takes a long time for the brain to catch up with your new body. To enjoy a meal out on the patio with friends; you will fit in the little chair and you won't break it. To realize it's ok to get on a carnival ride; the safety bar will fit over you. It takes time not to think about those things anymore. So many things that regular folk take for granted.
I'm looking forward to that new life. I really, really am!
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Getting up to date
On Saturday I switched to stage two of the post-bariatric diet. This is the semi-liquid state, or, as I like to say, "thicker" liquids. I found a website with some good examples of each stage - just ignore the timeframe they give and do what YOUR surgeon tells you to do: http://www.bariatric-surgery.info/stomach-bypass-diet-advice.htm
Erich and I went grocery shopping on Friday and I was so excited to eat Cream of Wheat, I can't even tell you. I've always loved it but then I drown it in sugar and butter, too. However, I got the instant kind, used a pack of Splenda and twice the milk suggested (to thin it out) and it was soooooo good. I used non-lactaid milk as the Blue Binder (the bible Henry Ford gives its bariatric patients) directed. Bariatric patients sometimes become lactose-intolerant. I'm tolerating yogurt very well so maybe that won't be me. Anyway, that Cream of Wheat was really a treat! It went down fine.
I'm still eating 3 oz. of food over a 30-min. period, same as the hospital. I sent an email to Annette, the bariatric nutritionist at Henry Ford, asking if that is still ok. I can't find anything in the Blue Binder about food intake except the 700-900 calorie rule she mentioned right before I was discharged from the hospital. I know I can't eat 700 calories right now. At least, I don't think I can.
I'm pretty scared of testing my pouch. I'm terrified of dumping. Saturday night, I decided to make some cream of broccoli & cheese soup. Again, I was really looking forward to eating it! Something different from Jell-O and broth, you know? So I'm making it, stirring it up on the stove. An overwhelming wave of nausea came over me as the broccoli smell emanated from the pot. I thought "Oh...I don't know if I can eat that or not." About that time, I was running to the bathroom. I had violent dry heaves for the next 10 minutes or so. As soon as I thought it was going to pass, it started back up again. There was nothing in my pouch to come up, so it was painful and scary. My stomach was quivering and sore for hours afterwards. After a bit, I did manage to get some Jell-O down.
I have asked a couple gastric bypass patients who are much farther along in this process than me if that was normal; it is. Smells can make you very ill, I suppose. Man...broccoli is one of the few veggies I can tolerate eating. I'd really hate it if the smell made me so sick I can't eat it anymore. I'm hoping that will pass eventually.
I have made a smoothie for the past two mornings for breakfast: about a 1/4 of a banana, couple spoonfuls of yogurt, a bit of milk and a scoop of strawberry protein powder. THE BEST THING EVER. Oh, it was so good.
I'm a little worried about protein. We're supposed to get 60-80 grams a day and it's tough. Pre-op, I'd just drink the thing down like a shake. It's hard to do that now. And the longer it sits around, the worse it tates, I find. I'm still working on getting my protein in.
All in all, I'm doing pretty well. I'm walking and sipping water. Getting in all my supplements. We're supposed to walk a minimum of 30 mins. a day. Well, I couldn't do that pre-op and certainly can't do it now, yet. My first 10-min. walk ended with my stomach hurting (my incisions). But the past couple days I can do it no sweat. I'm going to try and break it up into three 10-min. increments till I get stronger. It's the best I can do.
I'm very nervous to get on the scale Friday. I know I gained weight being in the hospital hooked up to the IV and because of the bloat from the gas. I just hope it comes off. Wanda mentioned that because I had lost so much pre-op, I might hit a plateau quickly. I hope not. I did this so I could lose weight and keep it off...and I better see some results or I will be pissed. Sorry, but that's how I feel.
I might try soup again tonight - but not cream of broccoli!
Erich and I went grocery shopping on Friday and I was so excited to eat Cream of Wheat, I can't even tell you. I've always loved it but then I drown it in sugar and butter, too. However, I got the instant kind, used a pack of Splenda and twice the milk suggested (to thin it out) and it was soooooo good. I used non-lactaid milk as the Blue Binder (the bible Henry Ford gives its bariatric patients) directed. Bariatric patients sometimes become lactose-intolerant. I'm tolerating yogurt very well so maybe that won't be me. Anyway, that Cream of Wheat was really a treat! It went down fine.
I'm still eating 3 oz. of food over a 30-min. period, same as the hospital. I sent an email to Annette, the bariatric nutritionist at Henry Ford, asking if that is still ok. I can't find anything in the Blue Binder about food intake except the 700-900 calorie rule she mentioned right before I was discharged from the hospital. I know I can't eat 700 calories right now. At least, I don't think I can.
I'm pretty scared of testing my pouch. I'm terrified of dumping. Saturday night, I decided to make some cream of broccoli & cheese soup. Again, I was really looking forward to eating it! Something different from Jell-O and broth, you know? So I'm making it, stirring it up on the stove. An overwhelming wave of nausea came over me as the broccoli smell emanated from the pot. I thought "Oh...I don't know if I can eat that or not." About that time, I was running to the bathroom. I had violent dry heaves for the next 10 minutes or so. As soon as I thought it was going to pass, it started back up again. There was nothing in my pouch to come up, so it was painful and scary. My stomach was quivering and sore for hours afterwards. After a bit, I did manage to get some Jell-O down.
I have asked a couple gastric bypass patients who are much farther along in this process than me if that was normal; it is. Smells can make you very ill, I suppose. Man...broccoli is one of the few veggies I can tolerate eating. I'd really hate it if the smell made me so sick I can't eat it anymore. I'm hoping that will pass eventually.
I have made a smoothie for the past two mornings for breakfast: about a 1/4 of a banana, couple spoonfuls of yogurt, a bit of milk and a scoop of strawberry protein powder. THE BEST THING EVER. Oh, it was so good.
I'm a little worried about protein. We're supposed to get 60-80 grams a day and it's tough. Pre-op, I'd just drink the thing down like a shake. It's hard to do that now. And the longer it sits around, the worse it tates, I find. I'm still working on getting my protein in.
All in all, I'm doing pretty well. I'm walking and sipping water. Getting in all my supplements. We're supposed to walk a minimum of 30 mins. a day. Well, I couldn't do that pre-op and certainly can't do it now, yet. My first 10-min. walk ended with my stomach hurting (my incisions). But the past couple days I can do it no sweat. I'm going to try and break it up into three 10-min. increments till I get stronger. It's the best I can do.
I'm very nervous to get on the scale Friday. I know I gained weight being in the hospital hooked up to the IV and because of the bloat from the gas. I just hope it comes off. Wanda mentioned that because I had lost so much pre-op, I might hit a plateau quickly. I hope not. I did this so I could lose weight and keep it off...and I better see some results or I will be pissed. Sorry, but that's how I feel.
I might try soup again tonight - but not cream of broccoli!
Monday, July 13, 2009
Surgery week, part two
There are good nurses and bad nurses. Man, on Wednesday I had some bad ones on the dayshift. They just acted like they weren't listening to me, didn't know what they were doing, but when they talked to me it was with a condescending and superior tone. There are few things I hate worse than being talked down to. I'm a very intelligent woman. There's no need to treat me like a two-year-old.
Here's just one example: They took me off the morphine pump and brought in liquid pain reliever - Tylenol 3. That has codeine in it; codeine makes me very nauseous. So I told them that. The nurse smiled and shook her head at me. "Oh, you should've told someone" was the response. Hello? How would I know they would be giving me codeine? Then she continued to open it up, left it on my table and walked out! HELLO??? Erich had to go get someone. Another person came in: "Are you allergic to Tylenol?" NO! Holy crap... "Um no. But codeine makes me nauseous." I swear it damn near took an act of Congress to get me something else. Then they also spoke to me in medical terms. Yes, I'm intelligent but I didn't go to medical school. Layman's terms, please. Yeesh.
But, I did have my favorites. A young, African-American guy who took my vital signs and blood. He was on nights and he'd come in, especially that first night, almost every hour on the hour. When he'd come for blood, I took to calling him "Blackula" - I mean, the dude sneaks into my room in the middle of the night for my blood! He was cool, though. Very funny and personable. And there was an older lady, a nurse from just across the border in Windsor, who was also very sweet. She was the one who went into my room, tossed the Tylenol 3 down the drain and told the first nurse "We can get her something else." Ya think?
Wednesday went well. Trays of broth, Jell-O, diluted juice and tea were brought to me. They would leave them there pretty much all the time because it takes so long for us gastric bypass patients to eat. The hospital supplied us with 1-oz. cups to pour the stuff in so we could keep track of how much we were eating. These were very much like the ones I bought at the dollar store (30/$1.00). As much as I could, probably every 90 mins. or so, I'd get up and walk the halls. It got easier every time I did it and it was good to get up out of bed.
Dr. Genaw came to see me Wednesday, trailing two physician's assistants. The female of the two, well, again...don't talk down to me and work on your bedside manner. That's all I'm gonna say. But she did call my family doctor before I was released and managed to get me an appointment the next day which is no easy feat in Ontario. So she gets props for that.
Dr. Genaw told me the surgery went very well, but my enlarged liver did pose some problems. I was having pain near the center of my chest; not heart related, but I wasn't sure what it was. Well, he explained that was where the retractor was and he had to keep pulling it to try and get around my liver. Ahh. Ok. He said he was in the OR saying "I'm so glad she lost the 70 lbs., imagine the trouble we'd be having if she hadn't." So I was very glad to have lost all the pre-op weight. But he also told me that as I got smaller, so would my liver. It would self correct. I saw a commercial on tv last night, a public service announcement, saying that the damage done to one's liver from improper eating habits is much the same as from alcohol abuse. Food for thought, so to speak.
I was released Thursday. Erich and I were already paid up til Friday in the residence, so we decided to stay till the morning and head back home. I had brought Jell-O, broth and protein shakes with me from him anticipating this, so I just continued what I had been doing in the hospital.
Laura (twnk) came to see me Thursday afternoon! It was good to see a friend. She brought me the most awesome little pink feathered gift bag filled with all kinds of goodies. Thanks to all who helped her with that. You know who you are and I love you dearly.
Trip home Friday was uneventful. Everyone at home was surprised to see me up and walking around so soon, even my own family doctor. This procedure has grown by leaps and bounds in the past 10 to 20 years. I'm very grateful that I had such a skilled surgeon and am doing so well.
Here's just one example: They took me off the morphine pump and brought in liquid pain reliever - Tylenol 3. That has codeine in it; codeine makes me very nauseous. So I told them that. The nurse smiled and shook her head at me. "Oh, you should've told someone" was the response. Hello? How would I know they would be giving me codeine? Then she continued to open it up, left it on my table and walked out! HELLO??? Erich had to go get someone. Another person came in: "Are you allergic to Tylenol?" NO! Holy crap... "Um no. But codeine makes me nauseous." I swear it damn near took an act of Congress to get me something else. Then they also spoke to me in medical terms. Yes, I'm intelligent but I didn't go to medical school. Layman's terms, please. Yeesh.
But, I did have my favorites. A young, African-American guy who took my vital signs and blood. He was on nights and he'd come in, especially that first night, almost every hour on the hour. When he'd come for blood, I took to calling him "Blackula" - I mean, the dude sneaks into my room in the middle of the night for my blood! He was cool, though. Very funny and personable. And there was an older lady, a nurse from just across the border in Windsor, who was also very sweet. She was the one who went into my room, tossed the Tylenol 3 down the drain and told the first nurse "We can get her something else." Ya think?
Wednesday went well. Trays of broth, Jell-O, diluted juice and tea were brought to me. They would leave them there pretty much all the time because it takes so long for us gastric bypass patients to eat. The hospital supplied us with 1-oz. cups to pour the stuff in so we could keep track of how much we were eating. These were very much like the ones I bought at the dollar store (30/$1.00). As much as I could, probably every 90 mins. or so, I'd get up and walk the halls. It got easier every time I did it and it was good to get up out of bed.
Dr. Genaw came to see me Wednesday, trailing two physician's assistants. The female of the two, well, again...don't talk down to me and work on your bedside manner. That's all I'm gonna say. But she did call my family doctor before I was released and managed to get me an appointment the next day which is no easy feat in Ontario. So she gets props for that.
Dr. Genaw told me the surgery went very well, but my enlarged liver did pose some problems. I was having pain near the center of my chest; not heart related, but I wasn't sure what it was. Well, he explained that was where the retractor was and he had to keep pulling it to try and get around my liver. Ahh. Ok. He said he was in the OR saying "I'm so glad she lost the 70 lbs., imagine the trouble we'd be having if she hadn't." So I was very glad to have lost all the pre-op weight. But he also told me that as I got smaller, so would my liver. It would self correct. I saw a commercial on tv last night, a public service announcement, saying that the damage done to one's liver from improper eating habits is much the same as from alcohol abuse. Food for thought, so to speak.
I was released Thursday. Erich and I were already paid up til Friday in the residence, so we decided to stay till the morning and head back home. I had brought Jell-O, broth and protein shakes with me from him anticipating this, so I just continued what I had been doing in the hospital.
Laura (twnk) came to see me Thursday afternoon! It was good to see a friend. She brought me the most awesome little pink feathered gift bag filled with all kinds of goodies. Thanks to all who helped her with that. You know who you are and I love you dearly.
Trip home Friday was uneventful. Everyone at home was surprised to see me up and walking around so soon, even my own family doctor. This procedure has grown by leaps and bounds in the past 10 to 20 years. I'm very grateful that I had such a skilled surgeon and am doing so well.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Surgery week, part one
Well, I'm now 4 days post op and I feel pretty good. I'm having a few stumbling blocks here and there but that's to be expected. I want to go back, for those readers getting ready to have the surgery, and explain what last week was like for me. This will be a long one. Bear with me!
Monday, July 6
Erich and I arrive in Detroit and go to my final weigh-in. I've finished my 6-day liquid diet and am on my 1-day clear fluids plan. So far so good. Yes, I was hungry. I never was NOT hungry; of course, that's just me. Some people say it's a breeze and others have different experiences. When I got on the scale, there was no reaction from the aide so I didn't think much about it. We are led into an examining room and wait. Wanda, the nurse who is in charge of coordinating the wants and needs of us Canadian patients, bursts in the room. She said "Can I just tell you that this is amazing??" She's pointing to my chart, which has 73.3 on it in big letters, circled. She goes on and on about how wonderful that number is. First she says she wants to shake my hand, then insists on giving me a hug. "That's a lot of hard work there. That's incredible." All I could do was mumble "thank you" over and over. I was a little overwhelmed and shocked. Wow. I guess it never hit me what I had accomplished until then.
Another nurse came in and told me she gave my chart to Wanda because she was also so impressed with my pre-op weight loss. "I just had to show her. Dr. Genaw is still on vacation but I'm leaving it on his desk so he sees it first thing when he comes back in the morning." Again...wow! So Cindy is already in a good mood. I listened to her tell me things I already knew about the procedure and signed some paperwork. Done.
Then we went to the cafeteria so Erich could have lunch. I had sugar-free lemon Jell-O. Just as drek as it sounds! Then we went across the courtyard and checked into our room at the apartment building on the Henry Ford campus.
We took some pictures on the balcony to compare with ones we had taken back in February, when we first visited the hospital. I actually had the same shirt on but I didn't plan it that way! It's just one of my favorite shirts :)
I've never been able to see my weight loss before. I see it in my clothes of course, but when I look in the mirror, I see the same person from last year or whatever. Then I looked at these two pictures and well, yeah, ok. I have lost some weight. Click thumbnails to enlarge:
Feb. 2009:
July 2009:
Later on that night, we decided to head down the street to Hitsville, USA, the original site of Motown Records. There was an impromptu shrine for Michael Jackson and I couldn't imagine being so close and not checking it out. No matter what went on in the last decade of his life, MJ was an ICON. I choose to remember the man I knew: the singer, the dancer, the pioneer, the humanitarian....not someone no one has ever proven he was. I'm a fan. When he died, a part of my childhood went with him. It was very touching to see all the memorials left for him there. Here are a few pics:
I made a video that day, but I don't know when I'll be ok sharing it. I was alone and I just set the camera up, moved in front of it, and spoke about how I was feeling. It feels too personal right now.
Tuesday, July 7
Surgery day. I am strangely calm. I thought I'd be a nervous wreck, crying and second guessing myself.
We checked in at surgery pre-op and waited for them to mangle our last name. We knew to go to the desk when we heard anything with a "sh" sound at the beginning. Someone led us back to a long room lined with beds on either wall. You know, with curtains in between. They handed me a gown that actually FIT plus those socks with rubber on the bottom. I got into it and hopped up on the most uncomfortable "bed" I've ever been on in my life. My back was killing me within a half hour.
Medical personnel drifted in and out of the cubicle, asking me the same questions over and over. I did a urine test (for pregnancy, I think) and they put in my IV port. That HURT. It hurt going in and it hurt in my hand till after the surgery. As I've said before though - I have a low pain threshold. The anesthesiologist came in. He asked if I had any questions.
"All I want to know is, if I'm going to be asleep when you put the tube down my throat."
"Oh yes. I don't like to do that on people who are awake."
"Good. Then we'll get along just fine."
We waited for what seemed like hours - indeed it was about a half hour past my surgery time - before Dr. Genaw finally made an appearance. We talked for a few seconds then he told me I broke the record at Henry Ford for pre-op weight loss. Again....WOW! Stunned, really. Couldn't believe it. He congratulated me then thanked me for making his work a little easier. LOL!
Soon it was time for Erich to kiss me goodbye. I handed him my wedding set and he put it on his pinky; I winked at him on the way out. I was fine. Not really nervous or anything. Trust me, no one is more surprised by that than me. I tend to freak out first and ask questions later. But I am learning patience. Slowly.
I got into the operating room and they asked me to "hop" onto the operating table. "I don't hop." I explained. HOP?? Seriously? Come on... But I scooted over then they had me scoot several more times till I was in the perfect position. My arms went out at my sides onto little tables and they put a mask on me. The anesthesiologist said "I will tell you when the actual meds come thru the mask, ok?" That is the last thing I remember before waking up in recovery - in hideous pain. Not from the incisions or surgery. Again, it was my back. OMG, my poor back. Those fucking operating tables are torture devices. Horrible. I kept writhing and wincing - they thought my incisions were hurting me and I had to keep repeating over and over "It's my back...it's my back."
Erich was waiting for me when I got to my room. He kissed me over and over and someone came in to give me a "welcome to the ward" goodie bag. Ok. Whatever. I hit the morphine pump and went to sleep.
I don't remember a lot after that except they hooked up those bootie thingys to my calves that massage you to prevent blood clots. And about 9 p.m., they started on me to get up and walk. So I did. I did a single lap around the nurses' station and they were very pleased with that.
More to come - I'm documenting this for myself and for those who will experience it. I know I would want to know exactly what to expect. All in all, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, pain-wise. My back felt better that evening but my incisions never gave me much aggravation. My pain level never went above a 3 or 4 out of 10. So don't worry, it's all good.
Monday, July 6
Erich and I arrive in Detroit and go to my final weigh-in. I've finished my 6-day liquid diet and am on my 1-day clear fluids plan. So far so good. Yes, I was hungry. I never was NOT hungry; of course, that's just me. Some people say it's a breeze and others have different experiences. When I got on the scale, there was no reaction from the aide so I didn't think much about it. We are led into an examining room and wait. Wanda, the nurse who is in charge of coordinating the wants and needs of us Canadian patients, bursts in the room. She said "Can I just tell you that this is amazing??" She's pointing to my chart, which has 73.3 on it in big letters, circled. She goes on and on about how wonderful that number is. First she says she wants to shake my hand, then insists on giving me a hug. "That's a lot of hard work there. That's incredible." All I could do was mumble "thank you" over and over. I was a little overwhelmed and shocked. Wow. I guess it never hit me what I had accomplished until then.
Another nurse came in and told me she gave my chart to Wanda because she was also so impressed with my pre-op weight loss. "I just had to show her. Dr. Genaw is still on vacation but I'm leaving it on his desk so he sees it first thing when he comes back in the morning." Again...wow! So Cindy is already in a good mood. I listened to her tell me things I already knew about the procedure and signed some paperwork. Done.
Then we went to the cafeteria so Erich could have lunch. I had sugar-free lemon Jell-O. Just as drek as it sounds! Then we went across the courtyard and checked into our room at the apartment building on the Henry Ford campus.
We took some pictures on the balcony to compare with ones we had taken back in February, when we first visited the hospital. I actually had the same shirt on but I didn't plan it that way! It's just one of my favorite shirts :)
I've never been able to see my weight loss before. I see it in my clothes of course, but when I look in the mirror, I see the same person from last year or whatever. Then I looked at these two pictures and well, yeah, ok. I have lost some weight. Click thumbnails to enlarge:
Feb. 2009:
July 2009:
Later on that night, we decided to head down the street to Hitsville, USA, the original site of Motown Records. There was an impromptu shrine for Michael Jackson and I couldn't imagine being so close and not checking it out. No matter what went on in the last decade of his life, MJ was an ICON. I choose to remember the man I knew: the singer, the dancer, the pioneer, the humanitarian....not someone no one has ever proven he was. I'm a fan. When he died, a part of my childhood went with him. It was very touching to see all the memorials left for him there. Here are a few pics:
I made a video that day, but I don't know when I'll be ok sharing it. I was alone and I just set the camera up, moved in front of it, and spoke about how I was feeling. It feels too personal right now.
Tuesday, July 7
Surgery day. I am strangely calm. I thought I'd be a nervous wreck, crying and second guessing myself.
We checked in at surgery pre-op and waited for them to mangle our last name. We knew to go to the desk when we heard anything with a "sh" sound at the beginning. Someone led us back to a long room lined with beds on either wall. You know, with curtains in between. They handed me a gown that actually FIT plus those socks with rubber on the bottom. I got into it and hopped up on the most uncomfortable "bed" I've ever been on in my life. My back was killing me within a half hour.
Medical personnel drifted in and out of the cubicle, asking me the same questions over and over. I did a urine test (for pregnancy, I think) and they put in my IV port. That HURT. It hurt going in and it hurt in my hand till after the surgery. As I've said before though - I have a low pain threshold. The anesthesiologist came in. He asked if I had any questions.
"All I want to know is, if I'm going to be asleep when you put the tube down my throat."
"Oh yes. I don't like to do that on people who are awake."
"Good. Then we'll get along just fine."
We waited for what seemed like hours - indeed it was about a half hour past my surgery time - before Dr. Genaw finally made an appearance. We talked for a few seconds then he told me I broke the record at Henry Ford for pre-op weight loss. Again....WOW! Stunned, really. Couldn't believe it. He congratulated me then thanked me for making his work a little easier. LOL!
Soon it was time for Erich to kiss me goodbye. I handed him my wedding set and he put it on his pinky; I winked at him on the way out. I was fine. Not really nervous or anything. Trust me, no one is more surprised by that than me. I tend to freak out first and ask questions later. But I am learning patience. Slowly.
I got into the operating room and they asked me to "hop" onto the operating table. "I don't hop." I explained. HOP?? Seriously? Come on... But I scooted over then they had me scoot several more times till I was in the perfect position. My arms went out at my sides onto little tables and they put a mask on me. The anesthesiologist said "I will tell you when the actual meds come thru the mask, ok?" That is the last thing I remember before waking up in recovery - in hideous pain. Not from the incisions or surgery. Again, it was my back. OMG, my poor back. Those fucking operating tables are torture devices. Horrible. I kept writhing and wincing - they thought my incisions were hurting me and I had to keep repeating over and over "It's my back...it's my back."
Erich was waiting for me when I got to my room. He kissed me over and over and someone came in to give me a "welcome to the ward" goodie bag. Ok. Whatever. I hit the morphine pump and went to sleep.
I don't remember a lot after that except they hooked up those bootie thingys to my calves that massage you to prevent blood clots. And about 9 p.m., they started on me to get up and walk. So I did. I did a single lap around the nurses' station and they were very pleased with that.
More to come - I'm documenting this for myself and for those who will experience it. I know I would want to know exactly what to expect. All in all, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, pain-wise. My back felt better that evening but my incisions never gave me much aggravation. My pain level never went above a 3 or 4 out of 10. So don't worry, it's all good.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
The Home Stretch
Thanks again so much for all your continued support.
Today is day 5 on my liquids and yes, I'm still hungry! Dr. Genaw told me "after a couple days, you won't feel hungry; this is also what hunger strike participants say." Um, hells NO. I'm still hungry. Like I said, it ebbs and flows, but it's there. I'm doing ok, don't get me wrong, but I'd love to have something to eat. The protein shakes, Jell-O and popsicles aren't really cutting it. It's tough, but bearable. I'm just trying my best to keep busy, which is also hard because I'm pretty weak and tire easily at this point.
I went out yesterday to get a few incidentals I'll need post-op and it completely wore me out. Erich and I are thinking of going to see Hitsville, USA in Detroit tomorrow (he discovered it's literally just down the street from Henry Ford), but I'm not sure I'll be up to it. Maybe when I go back for my first post-op checkup.
I linked my Twitter account to my cell phone so I should be able to update my status even from my hospital bed. Also, my Twitter is linked with Facebook, so any updates will appear on both sites at the same time. So many people have asked to be updated about how I'm doing - family and friends - and this is the best way since we can't really call too many people. The roaming charges on our Canadian phone would be outrageously expensive.
Yesterday, I had the great pleasure of speaking to someone who has gone through this process and is on the other side, successful. I didn't know she'd had the surgery till recently. I think now we are going to become good friends. She was very comforting and answered any and all questions I had, as well as letting me know I could contact her again. It's really nice to have that. I will be forever grateful to her kindness and willingness to share.
I just finished a book called Before & After: Living and Eating Well After Weight-Loss Surgery by Susan Maria Leach. I highly recommend it to anyone getting ready to go through this surgery. I found it months ago at a second-hand bookstore and it sat on a shelf till about a week ago. The first quarter sort of reads like this blog, with dated entries about her daily struggles and triumphs. The second three-quarters contains invaluable nutritional information and recipes. Ms. Leach runs the website http://bariatriceating.com/ where she also sells bariatric products. I haven't tried any of those, but her book is wonderful.
I'm heading out tomorrow with great expectations of a whole new life. I know I can get there!
Today is day 5 on my liquids and yes, I'm still hungry! Dr. Genaw told me "after a couple days, you won't feel hungry; this is also what hunger strike participants say." Um, hells NO. I'm still hungry. Like I said, it ebbs and flows, but it's there. I'm doing ok, don't get me wrong, but I'd love to have something to eat. The protein shakes, Jell-O and popsicles aren't really cutting it. It's tough, but bearable. I'm just trying my best to keep busy, which is also hard because I'm pretty weak and tire easily at this point.
I went out yesterday to get a few incidentals I'll need post-op and it completely wore me out. Erich and I are thinking of going to see Hitsville, USA in Detroit tomorrow (he discovered it's literally just down the street from Henry Ford), but I'm not sure I'll be up to it. Maybe when I go back for my first post-op checkup.
I linked my Twitter account to my cell phone so I should be able to update my status even from my hospital bed. Also, my Twitter is linked with Facebook, so any updates will appear on both sites at the same time. So many people have asked to be updated about how I'm doing - family and friends - and this is the best way since we can't really call too many people. The roaming charges on our Canadian phone would be outrageously expensive.
Yesterday, I had the great pleasure of speaking to someone who has gone through this process and is on the other side, successful. I didn't know she'd had the surgery till recently. I think now we are going to become good friends. She was very comforting and answered any and all questions I had, as well as letting me know I could contact her again. It's really nice to have that. I will be forever grateful to her kindness and willingness to share.
I just finished a book called Before & After: Living and Eating Well After Weight-Loss Surgery by Susan Maria Leach. I highly recommend it to anyone getting ready to go through this surgery. I found it months ago at a second-hand bookstore and it sat on a shelf till about a week ago. The first quarter sort of reads like this blog, with dated entries about her daily struggles and triumphs. The second three-quarters contains invaluable nutritional information and recipes. Ms. Leach runs the website http://bariatriceating.com/ where she also sells bariatric products. I haven't tried any of those, but her book is wonderful.
I'm heading out tomorrow with great expectations of a whole new life. I know I can get there!
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Score!
My wonderful husband Erich took to the Internet to find the Isolflex Chocolate Peanut Butter protein powder and found a store that is like the motherland of protein powders. Sport Nutrition Depot is like a library - you walk in and all around the walls of the store there are floor-to-ceiling shelves filled with jugs of protein powders. Every brand, every flavor you could possibly think of or want. They also had tons of protein bars and vitamin supplements to choose from. When we called and asked if they had the pb&c variety, they said "In stock? Yes, the 6 lb. and 9 lb. sizes." Uh, yeah, they pretty much had everything in stock. LOL! I walked in and literally went "Whoa." The girl behind the counter said, amusingly, "First time in the store?" The products were the same price as the tiny little Nutrition House in my mall where I got the other powders so I think I'll stick with SND. Awesome selection and very helpful salespeople. Oh, and while we were there, another salesperson was recommending Isolflex to someone who also was looking for a product that tasted good. Here is their website: http://www.sndcanada.com/ If you look for Isolflex, remember to search for its parent company Allmax Nutrition.
It also should be said that I went back to Walmart last night for the insulated sippy cup I was looking at the other day and put down because of psycho saleslady. I didn't see her anywhere and got the cup this time. LOL!
Thursday was a hard day for me. In the morning, I was very weak and felt a little wonky. I kept taking deep breaths at my desk because I felt like I might pass out. I was hungry most of the day and my stomach started to protest this lack of food, very loudly. The growling was distracting and a bit funny, too. Like my body was freaking out going 'Hello? What the hell are you doing to me?' I tried to have more Jell-O, more popsicles. I don't bring the protein powder to work but I do put a scoop in the Jell-O. By the end of the day I was feeling a bit better but I was exhausted. I struggled to stay awake till about 9:30, when I finally gave up and went to bed. No trip to the pool that night.
Not that I need it this week...the weight is flying off. I hopped on the scale Tuesday morning and I'd gained a couple pounds over the weekend. I did have a bigger splurge than usual, I'll admit it. GAH I gain weight so easily! Anyway, since then I've lost 16 pounds. You read that correctly: 16. I have lost 3 pounds since yesterday, people. This is the secret!! Just don't eat!! It's amazing. ;-) I've now lost 67 pounds total. I'm sure I'll hit at least 70 before my weigh-in at the hospital on Monday.
I felt fine on Friday. No more wonkiness. Everyone at work was very supportive, wishing me luck and asking for updates. One of my co-workers gave me a sweet little silver wishbone charm that says 'Lucky' on one side and has a tiny little crystal on the other. He's pretty special, that one. Ok - Raf, you've made the blog now. Are you happy? LOL!
Happy Independence Day to all my fellow Americans! My independence is coming soon as well. Independence from this monkey that's been on my back for most of my life. I'm looking forward to freedom from my own dangerous oppressor.
It also should be said that I went back to Walmart last night for the insulated sippy cup I was looking at the other day and put down because of psycho saleslady. I didn't see her anywhere and got the cup this time. LOL!
Thursday was a hard day for me. In the morning, I was very weak and felt a little wonky. I kept taking deep breaths at my desk because I felt like I might pass out. I was hungry most of the day and my stomach started to protest this lack of food, very loudly. The growling was distracting and a bit funny, too. Like my body was freaking out going 'Hello? What the hell are you doing to me?' I tried to have more Jell-O, more popsicles. I don't bring the protein powder to work but I do put a scoop in the Jell-O. By the end of the day I was feeling a bit better but I was exhausted. I struggled to stay awake till about 9:30, when I finally gave up and went to bed. No trip to the pool that night.
Not that I need it this week...the weight is flying off. I hopped on the scale Tuesday morning and I'd gained a couple pounds over the weekend. I did have a bigger splurge than usual, I'll admit it. GAH I gain weight so easily! Anyway, since then I've lost 16 pounds. You read that correctly: 16. I have lost 3 pounds since yesterday, people. This is the secret!! Just don't eat!! It's amazing. ;-) I've now lost 67 pounds total. I'm sure I'll hit at least 70 before my weigh-in at the hospital on Monday.
I felt fine on Friday. No more wonkiness. Everyone at work was very supportive, wishing me luck and asking for updates. One of my co-workers gave me a sweet little silver wishbone charm that says 'Lucky' on one side and has a tiny little crystal on the other. He's pretty special, that one. Ok - Raf, you've made the blog now. Are you happy? LOL!
Happy Independence Day to all my fellow Americans! My independence is coming soon as well. Independence from this monkey that's been on my back for most of my life. I'm looking forward to freedom from my own dangerous oppressor.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Hangin' in
Today is Canada Day, so I've been off work. Surprisingly, it hasn't been too difficult not to eat. My hunger ebbs and flows; I'll get very hungry then it'll disappear only to return a few hours later and the cycle starts all over again.
I had another gastric bypass patient contact me today saying she'd read in my blog where I found a protein supplement that tasted like Reese cups - she wanted to know what it was! Well, my apologies because DUH I should've put that info in my blog.
I have been using Isoflex brand protein supplements. I went to Nutrition House (kinda like GNC) and told the guy what I was looking for and that I wanted something that tasted good. He pointed me straight to Isoflex and gave me a sample of the chocolate peanut butter variety. It was GOOD. Really good. I did go back to buy some but they didn't have any. Hopefully they will get some in soon. I've been using Isoflex strawberry & vanilla and they are also really tasty. Here is the US website: http://www.allmaxnutrition.com/prod81.aspx and the Canadian: http://www.isoflex.ca/
Ok, Bo just went live on Stickam and totally, perhaps irrevocably, interrupted my train of thought. Food? Hunger? What's that? Sheesh!!!
Anyway....
I went on a pretty long walk today. I took my cell with me in case I needed to call Erich to pick me up! LOL! No need. I'm stronger than I think I am. This is sorta becoming my mantra.
Oh, and maybe TMI but I have never peed so much in my life. I guess it's because I'm on liquids and there's no food in my stomach to sop up all the water I'm drinking. Good lord! I'm running to the bathroom all the time yesterday and today.
In response to a couple of the comments yesterday, I've never been a smoker but I can see the similarities between the addictions for sure. I have seen many, many people I love struggle to give up cigarettes over and over. We all have our drug of choice, I suppose.
Thank you all so much for your comments on yesterday's blog. What in the world would I do without all of you? I love you all more than you know.
I had another gastric bypass patient contact me today saying she'd read in my blog where I found a protein supplement that tasted like Reese cups - she wanted to know what it was! Well, my apologies because DUH I should've put that info in my blog.
I have been using Isoflex brand protein supplements. I went to Nutrition House (kinda like GNC) and told the guy what I was looking for and that I wanted something that tasted good. He pointed me straight to Isoflex and gave me a sample of the chocolate peanut butter variety. It was GOOD. Really good. I did go back to buy some but they didn't have any. Hopefully they will get some in soon. I've been using Isoflex strawberry & vanilla and they are also really tasty. Here is the US website: http://www.allmaxnutrition.com/prod81.aspx and the Canadian: http://www.isoflex.ca/
Ok, Bo just went live on Stickam and totally, perhaps irrevocably, interrupted my train of thought. Food? Hunger? What's that? Sheesh!!!
Anyway....
I went on a pretty long walk today. I took my cell with me in case I needed to call Erich to pick me up! LOL! No need. I'm stronger than I think I am. This is sorta becoming my mantra.
Oh, and maybe TMI but I have never peed so much in my life. I guess it's because I'm on liquids and there's no food in my stomach to sop up all the water I'm drinking. Good lord! I'm running to the bathroom all the time yesterday and today.
In response to a couple of the comments yesterday, I've never been a smoker but I can see the similarities between the addictions for sure. I have seen many, many people I love struggle to give up cigarettes over and over. We all have our drug of choice, I suppose.
Thank you all so much for your comments on yesterday's blog. What in the world would I do without all of you? I love you all more than you know.
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