In the interest of full disclosure, I'm a big believer in the Internet. My presence is very visible in this blog, on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn - not much into Pinterest as of yet. I need some form of 3D life. And of course, as I've spoken of many times, my immersion in Bo Bice's fan club/community has been life altering. Used correctly and responsibly, online communities bring like-minded people together and make them feel supported and understood. My wide circle of friends and family are all over the globe and I'm so grateful to social media for helping me stay in touch at the click of a mouse.
So it may seem odd that I am a late bloomer when it comes to online support systems meant for bariatric patients.
Henry Ford Hospital gives each of their bariatric patients a Big Blue Binder full of answers to just about any question you could think of and I studied it carefully. Maybe I felt that was enough? I joined a Yahoo group for Henry Ford patients but wasn't a huge presence there. Through it, I learned of an in-person support group nearby and went to one meeting a few weeks after my surgery in July, 2009. There were two other people and it was kind of...empty and strange. While one person present educated me about an online message board called Obesity Help (OH) and pointed me in the direction of a fantastic blog called The World According to Eggface, I didn't go back.
I created an account at OH but again...didn't post much. I can't remember if I ever posted at all. There was some support there and good information, but everyone seemed to already know each other and I didn't know where to start. There also seemed to be a fair amount of cattiness, judgment, cliques and "inside jokes" (which I hate). So I just concentrated on this blog and my Big Blue Binder.
Through Facebook, I found Melting Mama and her Bariatric Bad Girls Club (BBGC). Or rather, she found me (thanks, Beth) when she requested my friendship after reading my brusque (hey, I gotta be me) response to a post from a so-called "leader" in the bariatric community. That person is now finished and most of us couldn't be happier. Through BBGC, I found the Community of Bariatric Patients of Southern Ontario and the Cambridge Coffee Crew (CCC...are you keeping up with the acronyms?), the wonderful bunch of women I am proud to call my sisters following this twisted path of health. I went to my first meeting in June of last year, a week before my 3rd "surgiversary" or what I like to call my Rebirth-day.
I was surprised to find people at CCC and BBGC who were months pre-op. Some haven't even got their surgery date scheduled yet. Looking back, I wonder how different my journey would've been if I'd had this support system. Luckily, success came to me despite it. My cheerleaders have been all of you, as well as a wonderful system of family and friends. But it's true I had no one who had actually gone through this and knew what I was thinking and feeling. Support is so very important and you can never have too much.
So I am envious of these people in some ways. Not so much in others. I still don't participate/post much in online forums because I still find so much judgement there. You know what they say about opinions, right? It doesn't matter what you're doing, someone will tell you it's wrong or you're not doing it as well as they are. Most of the time it's in a passive-aggressive way, sometimes it shows outright hostility. Then someone chimes in with what should be the Bariatric Life Principal, "we are all different", trying to calm things down. I dunno, it's tiring to me and I don't have time for the drama. If someone wants to eat a certain thing or take a certain brand of vitamins, don't judge. You know what The Beatles say - let it be. Words of wisdom and all...
Bullshit is everywhere and I suppose it's our job to duck and cover when we deem it necessary. Some people love OH and the online bariatric community, and that's great. Whatever works for them. I'm pretty sensitive so maybe it's just me. But I will stick with my CCC girls - even though no group is perfect - and this blog, all of you. Add CCC, my amazing husband and the Big Blue Binder to the mix and I think this is going to be a very good year for success!
Showing posts with label world according to eggface. Show all posts
Showing posts with label world according to eggface. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Sunday, September 9, 2012
The big week!
First off, be sure to tune in to the premiere episode of The Ricki Lake Show tomorrow, Monday, September 10, to check out the segment featuring Michelle Vicari - better known as the brains behind The World According to Eggface. I've featured her link on my blog since the beginning. She has helped so many people with her fabulous (!!) recipes and support. Now it's time to support her - and ALL of us!. First Beth on Nightline and now this. Good stuff.
Pretty big week coming up! Three concerts lined up. Madonna at the Air Canada Centre in Toronto on Wednesday; Loretta Lynn here in Kitchener at Centre in the Square on Thursday; then a quick overnighter to Flat Rock, Michigan with a few friends to see Bo (as in Bice. Are you paying attention?). Erich isn't going with me this time because I need to do this as cheaply as possible. He understands Bo is good for my soul and it will do me a world of good to see him and all my friends. I've seen Madonna once before but hey...it's Madonna! Very psyched about that! I grew up listening to Loretta Lynn. My mother's family is from southern Kentucky and I feel a certain kinship with her. I've lost count of the times I've seen "Coal Miner's Daughter". Her people are like my people. Seeing her is a bucket-list thing. Can't wait.
"Sons of Anarchy" season premier Tuesday. What, you don't watch that? Are you crazy? Here's a good reason why you should start. Happy viewing (click to enlarge):
Yesterday, as part of my 10K training, I did a dry run of the "race". Lately, I've been walking a lot outside because - one - I'd probably slit my wrists if I had to do more than a 5K on a treadmill and - two - the event will be outside so it's best to get acclimated to that environment. Twice I forgot to put on sunscreen and came home pretty tomato-y. I am a very white Irish girl and will redden after about 15 minutes in direct sunlight. Maybe I'm also a vampire. Who Knows What, right?
Anyway...no sunscreen needed yesterday! It was very dark and gloomy. And COLD! Windy! That sort of weather aggravates my knee arthritis and makes my head pound with sinus pressure. Did you hear that whining? Yeah, that was me. I loaded up on some drugs, put on a hooded windbreaker and went on my way. I did get rained on but it was all good. About 3/4 the way through it, the sun came out and it warmed up. And I did something new that I forgot I was able to.
I took off my jacket and tied the arms around my waist so I wouldn't have to carry it.
Now, if you've never been obese, you are probably thinking "So what?" Well, that's something morbidly obese people don't do. Because they can't. Personally, I haven't been able to do that since...elementary school, maybe? I don't know. I just know that whenever one of my friends tied a jacket around his or her waist, I slung mine over my forearm and wished I could do that. And yesterday, it took me a second before I realized I probably could now, and tried it. Such a small victory but it definitely made me smile and feel "normal".
In a cardiovascular sense, the 10K is not that tough. In a knee-and-lower-back pain sense, it's not. A visit to the chiropractor is in order before I do this for real. And even my knee braces didn't protect me from the need to ice them down this morning. The morning after...that's when the shit gets real, right? Yeah, I'm pretty sore this morning. Again with the drugs. But it's all good.
Pretty big week coming up! Three concerts lined up. Madonna at the Air Canada Centre in Toronto on Wednesday; Loretta Lynn here in Kitchener at Centre in the Square on Thursday; then a quick overnighter to Flat Rock, Michigan with a few friends to see Bo (as in Bice. Are you paying attention?). Erich isn't going with me this time because I need to do this as cheaply as possible. He understands Bo is good for my soul and it will do me a world of good to see him and all my friends. I've seen Madonna once before but hey...it's Madonna! Very psyched about that! I grew up listening to Loretta Lynn. My mother's family is from southern Kentucky and I feel a certain kinship with her. I've lost count of the times I've seen "Coal Miner's Daughter". Her people are like my people. Seeing her is a bucket-list thing. Can't wait.
"Sons of Anarchy" season premier Tuesday. What, you don't watch that? Are you crazy? Here's a good reason why you should start. Happy viewing (click to enlarge):
Yesterday, as part of my 10K training, I did a dry run of the "race". Lately, I've been walking a lot outside because - one - I'd probably slit my wrists if I had to do more than a 5K on a treadmill and - two - the event will be outside so it's best to get acclimated to that environment. Twice I forgot to put on sunscreen and came home pretty tomato-y. I am a very white Irish girl and will redden after about 15 minutes in direct sunlight. Maybe I'm also a vampire. Who Knows What, right?
Anyway...no sunscreen needed yesterday! It was very dark and gloomy. And COLD! Windy! That sort of weather aggravates my knee arthritis and makes my head pound with sinus pressure. Did you hear that whining? Yeah, that was me. I loaded up on some drugs, put on a hooded windbreaker and went on my way. I did get rained on but it was all good. About 3/4 the way through it, the sun came out and it warmed up. And I did something new that I forgot I was able to.
I took off my jacket and tied the arms around my waist so I wouldn't have to carry it.
Now, if you've never been obese, you are probably thinking "So what?" Well, that's something morbidly obese people don't do. Because they can't. Personally, I haven't been able to do that since...elementary school, maybe? I don't know. I just know that whenever one of my friends tied a jacket around his or her waist, I slung mine over my forearm and wished I could do that. And yesterday, it took me a second before I realized I probably could now, and tried it. Such a small victory but it definitely made me smile and feel "normal".
In a cardiovascular sense, the 10K is not that tough. In a knee-and-lower-back pain sense, it's not. A visit to the chiropractor is in order before I do this for real. And even my knee braces didn't protect me from the need to ice them down this morning. The morning after...that's when the shit gets real, right? Yeah, I'm pretty sore this morning. Again with the drugs. But it's all good.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Memories
I was thinking the other day about memories. Not the kind that are warm & fuzzy, but the kind you think back on and never want to repeat. Memories about the way life used to be for me before I had this surgery. Some might say the life I had pre-op is better left to the ash heap but I feel it's good to keep certain things in mind so when I want to reach for that second Timbit (which, I've decided, are the devil's candy), it's easier to say no.
When choosing this apartment, I had to consider the stairs of the building. Did I want to climb up a flight (or two) or go down a flight? This would determine what floor we lived on. So that's why we have a basement apartment. Not as bad as it sounds - it's really quite nice with tons of large windows. However, I'd love to have a balcony. But that would've meant climbing stairs or living in a more expensive building with an elevator. No balcony for Cindy. Now, when I'm home and want to leave, of course I still have to go up a flight but better that than carrying groceries up some stairs, right?
Carrying groceries. Um yeah. I hardly ever did that. Anything that had to be hauled out of the car was Erich's job. I usually stumbled in the door and collapsed on the couch for about an hour after we went anywhere. I was usually hot, in pain and completely exhausted. I've seen him make 5 or 6 trips to the car to bring stuff in, especially after we'd been on vacation or something. I always felt guilty about that but there was no way I could help him. Now I beat him back and forth to the car, trotting up and down that flight of stairs like it's nothing.
I sit in the bath now and run my hands along the water at my sides and remember when my ass made a pretty good Hoover Dam-like stopper. I remember 20 years ago shopping for a trailer with my ex-husband and one of the main selling points of the eventual winner was the 'garden' tub in the master bathroom. It was about 1-1/2 times as wide as a normal tub - SOLD! I do love my baths. Now the size of the tub really doesn't matter. Even hotel tubs work. This may seem like a small thing, but it's a big deal to me. Also, getting out of the tub used to involve mechanics better reserved for four-point parallel parking. Roll to the side..stop. Grab side of tub and hoist body up on one knee...stop. Count to three then liiiiffffttt!!!...stop. Stand there a second to re-gain balance...stop. Now I simply...get up. Stop.
'Shopping' used to mean two stores. And usually for bottoms only. It was a rare circumstance when I could find a top to fit me anywhere, in any store, plus size or not. Can you imagine what it feels like to try on a 6X - knowing that is the biggest size in any store you can get to - and it doesn't fit? I hoarded clothes. I had shirts in my closet that were more than 10 years old. I wore them long after they should've been thrown out due to wear and tear or style. I never knew where my next shirt was coming from. My mother-in-law made a lot of stuff for me, thank GOD, but I couldn't just go out and get something new. Ever. Now there are things in my closet less than a year - even 6 months - old and I'm having to get rid of them because they're too big. It's a little traumatic for me. I hate to part with my clothes; it's a psychological thing, I guess. I need to remember that I can wear things in any store now. I can always go get more clothes.
I remember when I longed to be invisible. It's an odd thing that the bigger you are, the more people try their best to ignore you and the more you WANT them to do just that because attention you do receive is likely to be condescending or insulting. I don't mind bright colours or tighter clothes now. I don't need or want to hide. I will get on the dance floor, I will walk right past a pack of teenage boys, I will look people in the eye and smile at them. All without fearing being laughed at. It's a work in progress but I'm getting there. Just yesterday I walked past a group of teenagers laughing and talking and didn't have any paranoia that they were laughing at me. That's a good feeling.
I could go on and on and on but you get the idea. I never could've imagined life this way. I've mentioned this word before but it's just freedom. Freedom from fear, really. Fear eats at you till you obey its every whim without a second thought. Letting go of the fucking fear is so hard. People look at me differently now and sometimes I wonder why; that's the old fear creeping in. Don't wonder - just live your life! This is how normal, happy people live. I tell myself 'remember the way life used to be and resolve never to go back'. Sweeping Cindy, right? Out with the old and in with the new.
Now onto lighter subjects. There's a link in the left-hand column to a fantastic blog I visit frequently. The World According to Eggface is very helpful to post-ops. She just gave her blog a facelift and is having a contest to celebrate! She's giving away a variety pack of Torani syrups. These syrups are way cool and very handy to have in the post-op world. They're difficult for Canadians to get our hands on, though, and I usually import them when I got home to Ohio. So, I'm entering. Fellow readers, especially my gastric bypass patient readers, check out Eggface and leave a comment on her contest blog to enter.
I'm gonna post her snazzy new button thingy just because she asked:
When choosing this apartment, I had to consider the stairs of the building. Did I want to climb up a flight (or two) or go down a flight? This would determine what floor we lived on. So that's why we have a basement apartment. Not as bad as it sounds - it's really quite nice with tons of large windows. However, I'd love to have a balcony. But that would've meant climbing stairs or living in a more expensive building with an elevator. No balcony for Cindy. Now, when I'm home and want to leave, of course I still have to go up a flight but better that than carrying groceries up some stairs, right?
Carrying groceries. Um yeah. I hardly ever did that. Anything that had to be hauled out of the car was Erich's job. I usually stumbled in the door and collapsed on the couch for about an hour after we went anywhere. I was usually hot, in pain and completely exhausted. I've seen him make 5 or 6 trips to the car to bring stuff in, especially after we'd been on vacation or something. I always felt guilty about that but there was no way I could help him. Now I beat him back and forth to the car, trotting up and down that flight of stairs like it's nothing.
I sit in the bath now and run my hands along the water at my sides and remember when my ass made a pretty good Hoover Dam-like stopper. I remember 20 years ago shopping for a trailer with my ex-husband and one of the main selling points of the eventual winner was the 'garden' tub in the master bathroom. It was about 1-1/2 times as wide as a normal tub - SOLD! I do love my baths. Now the size of the tub really doesn't matter. Even hotel tubs work. This may seem like a small thing, but it's a big deal to me. Also, getting out of the tub used to involve mechanics better reserved for four-point parallel parking. Roll to the side..stop. Grab side of tub and hoist body up on one knee...stop. Count to three then liiiiffffttt!!!...stop. Stand there a second to re-gain balance...stop. Now I simply...get up. Stop.
'Shopping' used to mean two stores. And usually for bottoms only. It was a rare circumstance when I could find a top to fit me anywhere, in any store, plus size or not. Can you imagine what it feels like to try on a 6X - knowing that is the biggest size in any store you can get to - and it doesn't fit? I hoarded clothes. I had shirts in my closet that were more than 10 years old. I wore them long after they should've been thrown out due to wear and tear or style. I never knew where my next shirt was coming from. My mother-in-law made a lot of stuff for me, thank GOD, but I couldn't just go out and get something new. Ever. Now there are things in my closet less than a year - even 6 months - old and I'm having to get rid of them because they're too big. It's a little traumatic for me. I hate to part with my clothes; it's a psychological thing, I guess. I need to remember that I can wear things in any store now. I can always go get more clothes.
I remember when I longed to be invisible. It's an odd thing that the bigger you are, the more people try their best to ignore you and the more you WANT them to do just that because attention you do receive is likely to be condescending or insulting. I don't mind bright colours or tighter clothes now. I don't need or want to hide. I will get on the dance floor, I will walk right past a pack of teenage boys, I will look people in the eye and smile at them. All without fearing being laughed at. It's a work in progress but I'm getting there. Just yesterday I walked past a group of teenagers laughing and talking and didn't have any paranoia that they were laughing at me. That's a good feeling.
I could go on and on and on but you get the idea. I never could've imagined life this way. I've mentioned this word before but it's just freedom. Freedom from fear, really. Fear eats at you till you obey its every whim without a second thought. Letting go of the fucking fear is so hard. People look at me differently now and sometimes I wonder why; that's the old fear creeping in. Don't wonder - just live your life! This is how normal, happy people live. I tell myself 'remember the way life used to be and resolve never to go back'. Sweeping Cindy, right? Out with the old and in with the new.
Now onto lighter subjects. There's a link in the left-hand column to a fantastic blog I visit frequently. The World According to Eggface is very helpful to post-ops. She just gave her blog a facelift and is having a contest to celebrate! She's giving away a variety pack of Torani syrups. These syrups are way cool and very handy to have in the post-op world. They're difficult for Canadians to get our hands on, though, and I usually import them when I got home to Ohio. So, I'm entering. Fellow readers, especially my gastric bypass patient readers, check out Eggface and leave a comment on her contest blog to enter.
I'm gonna post her snazzy new button thingy just because she asked:
Monday, July 27, 2009
A deep breath
Thanks so much for all your comments, especially on my last entry. I was feeling really awful and knowing other people care makes a huge difference. My sweet Susan - I think you have a point. And I love you.
I went to my first support group meeting yesterday. Not a lot of people come in the summer, so many are busy with vacations and stuff, but it was really good anyway. We sat around and talked about the journey and what's bothering us. Good advice and open, sympathetic ears. I left feeling much better and pretty secure in the knowledge that I'm normal. LOL! What I'm going through is pretty par for the course. I just have to get through it. If you're going through hell, keep going, right? At some point, you'll make it out to the other side.
At the meeting yesterday, someone mentioned a blog called "The World According to Eggface". It's written by a gastric bypass patient and is chock-full of nutrition advice, recipes and just plain ole common sense. I checked it out and it's FANTASTIC. If you're a gastric bypass patient, you need to read this blog. Or even if you're not! http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/ This woman has pizza recipes for post-op lifestyles and a pizza porn photo gallery. My kinda chick!
It's weird how I felt better in the first couple weeks after the surgery than I do now. I felt good then. Now I'm exhausted, nauseated and a bit irritable. I know that's all normal but it kinda seems ass-backwards to me. I remember when I first got home, I had the energy and desire to clean up around the house and get some things done that had gone neglected for a while. Now I could care less. I guess the only way to snap out of it is to just DO it. So this week I'm going to really make an effort to trick my mind into thinking I'm ok. I really do think this is that 'hibernation period' I've read so much about. The group leader at yesterday's meeting said "All you want to do is sleep, right?" Yep! That's me right now, and it won't do. I guess my body's figured out there is no more food coming and it wants to conserve energy. I need to be finished with letting my body control me, I need to control it. So it's a battle of wills. Heh. I plan to win.
On another note, LORDA MERCY I miss Bo Bice! *sigh* I would give anything to be with my friends in Maryland tomorrow night. I actually think either a Bo show or just seeing some of my friends would do a lot to help me right now. But it ain't happening so I'll suck it up and drool over the pics and video. VIDEO. Hear that Lecia? ;-)
I went to my first support group meeting yesterday. Not a lot of people come in the summer, so many are busy with vacations and stuff, but it was really good anyway. We sat around and talked about the journey and what's bothering us. Good advice and open, sympathetic ears. I left feeling much better and pretty secure in the knowledge that I'm normal. LOL! What I'm going through is pretty par for the course. I just have to get through it. If you're going through hell, keep going, right? At some point, you'll make it out to the other side.
At the meeting yesterday, someone mentioned a blog called "The World According to Eggface". It's written by a gastric bypass patient and is chock-full of nutrition advice, recipes and just plain ole common sense. I checked it out and it's FANTASTIC. If you're a gastric bypass patient, you need to read this blog. Or even if you're not! http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/ This woman has pizza recipes for post-op lifestyles and a pizza porn photo gallery. My kinda chick!
It's weird how I felt better in the first couple weeks after the surgery than I do now. I felt good then. Now I'm exhausted, nauseated and a bit irritable. I know that's all normal but it kinda seems ass-backwards to me. I remember when I first got home, I had the energy and desire to clean up around the house and get some things done that had gone neglected for a while. Now I could care less. I guess the only way to snap out of it is to just DO it. So this week I'm going to really make an effort to trick my mind into thinking I'm ok. I really do think this is that 'hibernation period' I've read so much about. The group leader at yesterday's meeting said "All you want to do is sleep, right?" Yep! That's me right now, and it won't do. I guess my body's figured out there is no more food coming and it wants to conserve energy. I need to be finished with letting my body control me, I need to control it. So it's a battle of wills. Heh. I plan to win.
On another note, LORDA MERCY I miss Bo Bice! *sigh* I would give anything to be with my friends in Maryland tomorrow night. I actually think either a Bo show or just seeing some of my friends would do a lot to help me right now. But it ain't happening so I'll suck it up and drool over the pics and video. VIDEO. Hear that Lecia? ;-)
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