I've lost five pounds in the past couple weeks. For me, this is progress. The weight is coming off verrrryyyy slooowwwly at this point. I'm trying to step it up, mix it up and see what happens. I have been told that your body knows when you've lost enough and will settle into a goal weight of its own choosing. Oh yeah? Well, I'm not done yet. I'm the boss here!
No one has ever mentioned a goal weight to me. Not my family doctor and not anyone at Henry Ford Hospital. I believe there was a conscious effort to just get me to LOSE WEIGHT without obsessing about specific numbers. The losing-250-pounds thing is all me, all my goal. My BMI will still be too high when I get there - still in the 'obese' range. I know that weighing 194 pounds is still 'too much' according to every insurance chart on earth. And I really don't care. I did some figuring and it seems I need to get down to 170 to be on the HIGH end of 'normal'. Well, um...I don't think that's realistic. I would look pretty freakin' skeletal at 170 (remember, I weigh 212 right now). I have no desire to bust my ass fitting some sort of proper mold. I've never been normal before so why bother at this point? This is about as normal as it gets, I think. LOL!
I made a decision a couple weeks ago. Magazines are taking over my life, dude. I once wrote a My Space blog about my obsession with magazines. I don't have time to read actual books anymore! And we won't even go into the expense. So they gotta go. I'm not going cold turkey because there's no way I'm on this planet without People magazine (shut up), but most of them are history. Got two new books recently - Shakespeare Undead and The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner: An Eclipse Novella (Twilight Saga). Plus I have several more sitting on a shelf that I need to get to. This is all about the new me, I think. Sweeping Cindy - out with the old and in with the new. I can't take the clutter anymore.
I went to the gym on Tuesday and got invited out to coffee. Trouble was, I think she was interested in more than coffee. Ok. I KNOW she was. And yes, she was a she. I go to a women-only gym. Color me shocked! That's a new one. I've seen her there many times but of course my mind never went there. I guess hers did. LOL! WTF? Is there something about me that screams 'lesbian'? I can't figure out why she would proposition me but I have to admit it was flattering. I told her I was married...to a guy...(I specified because gay marriage is legal here) and she went on her way. I told her I was sorry and she said 'No, I'm the one who's sorry. But we can be friends, right?' I said 'sure' and that was it. Odd as a cod, I'm telling you. I'm still not used to men looking at me differently now, let alone a WOMAN making a pass at me. My husband was terribly amused by all of this, as were my male co-workers.
I'm loving Eminem's comeback. I've always absolutely loved him and am sooooo happy to see the success of his new CD, 'Recovery'. Say what you want about him, he's honest. Erich and I are huge fans - he's on my concert wish list. I don't know which current chart hit I like better - 'Not Afraid' or his duet with Rihanna - 'Love the Way You Lie', which must feel like a very personal song to her. Fantastic stuff.
Halloween is about 2-1/2 months away and I'm already so looking forward to it, I can't even explain it! It's always been my favorite holiday but I haven't been able to dress up the way I want to since I was a child out trick-or-treating. This year, I'm going to walk into a store and pick out a cute costume that will fit me just fine. I'm just freakin' STOKED about being able to do that. Last year, I still couldn't wear the plus-sized ones in stores but I was able to order one online (which I'd never been able to do before). I was happy with that costume but hey...it's something else to walk in and pick something out off the rack. Totally can't wait. I'll be doing the time warp with a grin on my face.
So that's all the stuff falling out of my brain this morning. Eighteen more pounds to go till I reach my goal. It really feels within reach and it's exciting.
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My sister-in-law shares your obsession with magazines. Let's just say that my bro knew it was OK to propose when Bride Magazine randomly fell off the top shelf of her closet at her apartment, and he caught a glimpse of some other bridal magazine in her work tote bag.
ReplyDeleteAs for your weight loss goal, I think it's absolutely perfect. Have I told you lately that you rock? Well you do. I've been so impressed throughout your process that your attitude has always been positive. Even when you were frustrated, you had your goal in mind. You are AWESOME, my friend!
I think it's kind of cute that you got freaked out about being "hit on". Girls, Guys, what ever...I guess it's something that you will need to get used to... and yes, you should be flattered.. so soak it all in.
ReplyDeleteOh... and to avoid confusion in the future, I would for-go wearing the flannel shirt and vest to the gym. ;-D
By the way. You are really AWESOME!