Baby, it's cold outside!

Ok, the winter thing is slightly out of hand. I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say that.

I've always been a "hot-natured" person. In my case, this is a politically correct term for "too much insulation" which is in turn another euphemism for "fat". I wore t-shirts year round. I kept a fan on my desk - and used it - even in January. The main reason I stopped wearing bangs is because I would sweat from any and all movement - in any weather - so my hair would be plastered against my forehead. Not a good look.

Last year that changed somewhat. I had lost a good 125 pounds by the time winter rolled around and I definitely could feel the chill more than before. It was an effort to remind myself that I would be cold. Shopping for a new "light coat" before a trip to Nashville last December, I ended up with what was no more than a sweater with a faux-fur lined hood. It was really nice and I was thrilled that I could wear it. But...I was wishing for something heavier while I was there! It continued like that all winter. Cindy - you will be cold, so plan accordingly. A whole new concept, you see.

But this year? I've lost another 125 pounds and well, it feels like friggin' Siberia outside my home in Southern Ontario. Now, for any Americans reading this...it is NOT *that* cold here. Right now it's 22 degrees Fahrenheit outside, with a wind chill of 10. Yeah, that's cold but seriously. It ain't that bad. There are plenty of places in the U.S. where that's not an unreasonable temperature. And I should be used to it. But I'm freezing my ass off!

Erich laughs at me all the time because I used to yearn to be "cold-natured". "It would be much easier to cover up and be comfortable rather than sit and swelter all the time," I reasoned. And I still stand by this even though BOY, did I ever get my wish.

I'm building a wardrobe of sweaters. So, this year, I will actually have a winter and summer wardrobe above the waist. Pre-op, all I had to do was switch out the capris and long, black pants. I shop for long sleeves, warm, fuzzy socks and race to get home so I can turn on the fireplace. I drink hot chocolate (sugar free) nearly every morning because it warms me up when I get to work! (I don't like coffee.) I've turned off the ceiling fan in the bedroom - it used to run year around. I want some warm slippers and long underwear! I use throws and Snuggies. These are all things I've never done in my life.

A dear friend of mine, also a gastric bypass patient, is going through her first winter after losing weight. She said to me recently, "I can't believe how cold it is out there." I had to laugh and agree. It's not colder than normal but to *us* it feels like we've moved to the damn north pole! Hey Santa! Put some tickets to Cuba in the stocking, will ya??

A long time ago, a friend of my mother's said she went to the tanning bed in winter so she could warm up. She was one of those lucky "cold-natured" people - and quite overweight, I might add. So that's not always a barometer to use. However, even though I don't tan (I burn) and have never regularly used tanning beds in my life (even when my parents owned about 10 of them), I briefly considered this option.

I feel like I'm going nuts! LOL!

Another big change I see this winter is in the way I navigate slippery sidewalks and parking lots. When you weigh 450 pounds, you tread carefully. Literally taking baby steps across the wet and ice, you are very aware that if you fall, the results could be disastrous. Will you be able to hoist yourself back up? How badly will you hurt your back or your knees? Imagine 450 pounds crashing down on one knee or straight down on your back. These are the thoughts that run through a super-obese person's head. At least they ran through mine. I also had very little balance and was wobbly on my feet even in the best of circumstances. Even if I didn't fall, the act of simply trying to right myself if I slipped a tiny bit might be enough to send me to the chiropractor and possibly a day off work.

Last winter, I still walked around this way - probably out of habit. But now I notice myself moving with more confidence; an ingrained assurance that I won't fall. And if I do, I can simply pick myself back up and move on. Or, at the very least, the odds are with me. I noticed it for the first time just days ago. I was walking in a Walmart parking lot. I had on boots with a fairly slippery bottom, yet I was moving quickly and with long strides.

It's more than a physical knowledge, this thing of realizing you won't fall. Of not even considering the notion. Of just moving around and about, not even thinking about it. That certainty does something to your mind as well. It changes you in a way that is hard to describe unless you've been there. A word comes to mind that I use over and over again...freedom.

To end things on a light note (and it'll warm you up if you're cold, I promise), let's take a look at the video that inspired the title of this blog. Keep a fan nearby....