Let the games begin!

So as I reported a couple of weeks ago, I signed up for a walking 10K to celebrate my re-birthday. The Minds in Motion website includes helpful training schedules for their races; I just completed week one and am proud to say that I not only lived through it but I thoroughly enjoyed it!

Getting back into the gym at least 4 days a week has been really good for me. I had been walking/jogging a lot outside but during the heatwave, well, I did pretty much nothing. Having this schedule in front of me and knowing I need to adhere to it in order to complete the 10K safely and efficiently, helps (click to enlarge).



The race isn't until September 23, so I didn't need to start training until tomorrow but I figured I'd go ahead - I was pretty excited to start, actually! I'm a very visual person and I love seeing this schedule. I can see me doing many more events like this with a goal in mind and a clear path to getting there.

Since I'm American, my copy of the schedule has a little key written off to the left side with the mile equivalent of the kilometers! And - you might be surprised to hear this - I've never been on a treadmill here that had a kilometer feature. They're all in miles. Very odd. So...for those who are interested...

3K = 1.86 miles
4K = 2.49 miles
5K = 3.1 miles
6K = 3.73 miles
7K = 4.35 miles
8K = 5 miles
9K = 5.6 miles
10K = 6.2 miles

I like that the "rest" days are Friday and Sunday. With Erich working nights Monday to Thursday, Fridays are special to us. We often go out to dinner then chill out in front of the tube, catching up on those things we forget to mention during our nightly phone calls. Same with Sunday - it's our lazy day. I often work out Saturdays before he gets up, so this is perfect.

The week went pretty well. I strapped on my braces, downed a preventive dose of Tylenol Arthritis and took off to the gym. So far, so good! I am continually surprised by how in shape I am. The fact that I can work all day then go to a 5K isn't anything new - I've done it before - but it still surprises me.

Well, maybe not work ALL day. I'm getting off earlier and earlier. Which is good for gym time, but bad for the pocketbook. Anyone have a job for me out there!?!

For my first "cross train" day, I did an abs workout video. I felt it for a few days! That's probably a sign I need to do it more often.

The Olympics began over the weekend and with me doing this piddly little training schedule, it got me to thinking about what they go through. Such intense training. Hours a day for years. Now that's dedication worthy of admiration and respect.

This time next week, I will be in Ohio for a week to attend my family's annual reunion and visit old friends and stomping grounds! There is a YMCA about 15 minutes from my parents' house and I have contacted them about training there. The manager assured me he would give me a pass to use for the week. Awesome! I was totally prepared to pay so that was a nice gesture on his part. Priority number one when we get down there will be to go get that pass.

Random cool event: Bought a pair of Dr. Scholls walking shoes yesterday since I wanted to have a pair that weren't my normal running shoes; I need a pair to use when I have to walk around all day at an event. They were priced $35. Ok, fine. Well....they scanned at $3.00. That's right. THREE. The checkout lady definitely noticed it but said "I'm not telling anyone. Go get you another pair!" LOL! They didn't have any more in my size, or I would've. Too cool, huh? Every now and then, karma smiles.

Guilty as charged

There is a lot of guilt in obesity recovery - which is what I call the time when we are losing weight and doing a pretty good job of keeping it off.

Probably the first guilt comes when you eat something you know you shouldn't have. It happens to everyone. There is also guilt when you miss a workout. But I'm talking about something on a deeper level.

"What did I do to myself?"
Everyone who has lost a significant amount of weight gets that thought in his or her head. Why did I let it get so bad? Someone asked me that recently, actually...and no I didn't punch him in the face. Because he was right. I hated the question and his nerve pissed me off, but why did I let myself get to almost 500 pounds? There are no easy answers, really. I can only blame a form of mental illness. Some people never feel the need to drink a beer in their life; others drink themselves to death. I was eating myself into the grave and while I knew it, I couldn't seem to make myself stop it. There's a whole lot of "WHY?" going on in my head. My life could've been so much better if I'd taken control of things at 20 instead of 40. Whenever I look at the pounds of loose skin that I'll never be able to remove, I feel guilt. I did this to myself and there's no one to blame but me. It's sometimes a tough pill to swallow.

Here's a Dr. Phil-ism: The only thing worse than being in a bad relationship for one year is being in one for one year and one day. Amen and goodnight. I made the change when I did and that's that. Look forward.

"I wish I could help him/her."
When I see a severely morbidly obese person on the street, I want to help them. I feel a sense of guilt that somehow I found relief from that misery and I want to share knowledge with them. It doesn't seem right that I'm living my life and they can barely walk and breathe. Maybe it's a form of survivor's guilt. I'm on the shoreline, safe, but they're still sinking.

"I had no complications (sorry)."
Seriously speaking, I had pretty much zero complications with my surgery. Nothing. I have only dumped once (I think it was a dump...albeit a very minor one) and beyond some nausea or vomiting when I ate/eat the wrong thing or too much, too fast, that has been it my friends. I lost weight quickly and without incident. My surgeon called me "a star." Textbook, right? So when I hear about patients who end up back in the hospital or dump after a cough drop, I feel guilty. DAMN! I got off easy. I did exactly as I was told, of course, and I do think that helped me. But then I also know there are people who follow doctor's orders very well and still have random crap.

"Did I take the easy way out?"
Some weight-loss surgery patients fight this mentality allll the time. Of course, some feel no guilt at all about the method they used to become healthy. I admit I do to a certain extent. My path - at first - was indeed a bit easier than someone who has not had "the surgery". If there wasn't some benefit or advantage, I wouldn't have had the procedure. I have friends who have lost a lot of weight the "old-fashioned way". And yes, sometimes, I feel inferior to them. I am sure there are outsiders who feel those people are stronger than me, have more discipline than me. Maybe they're right. I dunno. What I do I know is it takes a lot to get here where I am. It's bad enough that others think I did this the easy way and maybe am not totally deserving of admiration or success; my job is to not let them get into my own head and make me feel guilty because of my method.

Here's a question for you: Is guilt useful? Does it keep you in line? Sure it does, in some ways. You will feel guilty if you have the second piece of cake (and likely sick as a dog, too), so you put it down. When someone asks you about the gym, you will feel guilty if you haven't been there in two weeks, so you go. All of this can make you follow your plan more diligently. Nothing wrong with that!

However, guilt can also eat you alive. I shouldn't feel badly about my success or the method I chose to get here, for example. We're all a work in progress and need to remember how valuable we are; self-worth and self-awareness is the key. Everything else is white noise. Tune it out.

Three is a magic number

Yesterday was my 3rd rebirth-day, as my husband calls it. The anniversary of my surgery and the day my life changed forever. Changing for the better every day!

Erich and I went to Stratford and took a relaxing boat tour of the Avon River. It was a beautiful day and strolling around the water watching the swans was what I needed after a week of very intense work-related stress. Celebrating low-key.

My other re-birthday gift to myself was signing up for my first 10K. I think I'm ready for a new challenge. My knees - with braces on them both - held out pretty well for the Father's Day 5K. So I'm gearing up for the Minds in Motion K-W Walking Classic on September 23. Yes, I will walk it. For some reason, people tend to make you feel badly for not running. I'm taking baby steps here - my knees thank me for it. There was also a half marathon option but nope. Not yet. Sorry!!

I posted this picture on Facebook yesterday morning and had such an overwhelming response of support from my awesome friends and family. The photo on the left was taken in December, 2008 - two months before my first visit to the surgeon in Detroit. The pic on the right was taken on Father's Day this year during the 5K I participated in for prostate cancer awareness and research.



I've said it before, but I bear no ill will to the woman on the left. She was brave and strong enough to save herself and I am grateful to her. I'm not one of those people who cringe at my 'before' photos. I still don't really recognize the woman on the right. I know it's me, but it still doesn't seem like me.

Three years seems like a long time yet it also seems like yesterday. I've learned a lot. A lot about me and those around me. Here are the top three things I know to be true:

3. I am stronger than I think I am. Who would've ever thought I could do this? Certainly not me. I mean, I wouldn't have started it if I didn't want it but I have been successful beyond my own expectations and surprised myself with my fabulous-ness!!

2. Support is the most important ingredient to inspiration and therefore, success. When you think you can't go on, there will be someone, somewhere, to let you know YOU CAN. You will. You must. It could be your partner, parent, child, friend, a stranger on tv or in a magazine. Someone. Support comes from unexpected sources, let me tell you, as does apathy. You might learn who really has your back and who doesn't; I sure did.

1. The journey never ends. It just goes on and morphs into something different as time goes by. The new normal is you being healthy, positive, looking out for yourself. Taking care of yourself. Goals are important - maintenance itself can be a goal but for me, I'm learning I need new challenges. New reasons to push myself to maintain health. Hence the 10K signup.

Let's toast to Three. It's a magic number! :)