Out of the mouths of babes

Children have been, more often that not, afraid of me.

I think it was just my massive size; most of the time, kids would cower in fear when I approached them, hanging to their mother's shirts for dear life. MOM! THE MONSTER'S COMING!!! Even strange kids I'd see out shopping or wherever. They would stare at me then back away. I'm not kidding and I'm not exaggerating. We're talking small children, toddlers. The older ones just point and laugh (well, sometimes). And I might add that this was more rare when I was in Ohio - but was a regular thing in Ontario. I dunno, I think the kids down home are more accustomed to obesity. Which isn't necessarily a good thing.

So imagine my surprise when Erich and I went into a truck stop in Woodstock, Ontario, on our way to Port Burwell on Friday. We needed gas and well, I just *love* truck stops. Seriously, they have the neatest things in there sometimes! So I wanted to go in and wander around. Erich was on one end of the store and I on the other. This small boy, about 3, passed me in an aisle and smiled great big. "Hiiiiiiii!!!" he chirped at me, all cuteness and light. I smiled back and said "Hiiiiii!" back at him. He turned to his mom and said "Mommy, she's pretty!" Welllll, I just about fell in the floor. That has never happened to me in my life. Ever. She laughed and said "Yes, she is!"

Seriously. I stopped dead in my tracks and my mouth fell to my knees. Shit like that does not happen to me. I told Erich about it and he laughed. "You ARE pretty!" he said. Yeah, but he's my husband. He kinda has to say that. LOL! To have that kid not be terrified of me was really something. It made my day.

Erich and I went to Port Burwell, along the nothern shore of Lake Erie, just to hang out. We love the little town and often talk about retiring there someday. We're going camping there for our anniversary in May. Camping...yeah, that'll be a whole different experience at this weight, I'm sure. We wandered the main strip downtown checking out all the bikes (I might've been checking out the bikers, too) and walked around the empty campgrounds, looking at different sites. This is our idea of fun. LOL!

When Erich first suggested we get out and walk the campgrounds, which is a pretty big place as this is a provincial park, I was hesitant. The thought of walking great distances still freaks me out a bit and at first I said no, that I couldn't do it. But I changed my mind and I'm glad I did. We were about halfway through the trails and I said "I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm fine. I'm perfectly fine. I can walk now. I really need to remember that." It's tough to reverse 40 years of negative thoughts.

As I've been going through my wardrobe and shedding everything that doesn't fit me (count so far - 35 shirts; 16 pairs of pants; 30 pairs of capris; 4 nightgowns and 4 bras) I'm finding the true 'before' clothes. I slipped on a couple and had Erich take a few pictures tonight:

A purple skirt my mother-in-law made for me not too long after I moved to Canada. It's several years old and represents me at nearly 500 pounds, I would think:

This is Erich and me - I have the skirt on here as well as the matching jacket she made for me:



And here I am with it on tonight:



What used to fit me, now can fit both myself and Erich!



This used to be my favorite shirt. I wore it to death! It's only a few years old.

Here are a few pictures of me in the summer of 2008 with it on. I was in Ocean City, MD for a Bo concert with my girls! Wonderful memories:



And with it on tonight:



And here I have it gathered in the back to show where my body actually is. LOL!



I went to Mecca (aka Old Navy) and shopped the clearance aisle today. Two extra-large shirts came home with me. Unreal! It's an indescribable feeling to be wearing a 6X just over a year ago and now be in an XL.

The weather's been fabulous up here lately so I went through my summer clothes. I can't wear a single thing. NOTHING. My god, I have to buy more clothes. Awwwww, damn! I hate that! *can you feel the sarcasm?* That's why I have 30 pairs of capri-length pants to get rid of.

So yeah, things are good. I didn't lose any weight this week, but I didn't gain any, either. So I'll survive. I'll just keep doing what I'm doing and it'll come off. And maybe someday I'll believe I'm pretty - just like that little boy said I was.