A much-needed breather

First of all, my Cincinnati Bengals are first in the AFC north! WOOT! Secondly, I lost a pound last week, putting me at 297. I am celebrating the pound! Thirdly, New Moon opens this Friday! I'm not as bad as some other people I know (heh) but I did enjoy the book series and gladly partake in the pop-culture phenomenon that is Twilight. But I am ashamed of the cougar thoughts that run through my head when looking at Taylor Lautner...he's younger than my KID. Must not look. *turning away now* At least Robert Pattinson's not jailbait....

Erich and I went down to upstate New York last weekend to see some friends of ours. It was a great, relaxing time that we both really needed. Good times, good friends, Bo videos....what more could anyone want?? My friend Paris and I have the best husbands in the world, lemme tell ya. We actually kicked them out of the living room at one point. They are both awesome. Everyone should have their own private "Paris Hilton" to get away to every now and then! Nancy, Jackie, Beth, Paris and John - thank you for being in my life.

This was the first time they had seen me since I started my journey here - Paris and Nancy cracked me the hell up the way they were looking at me when I first arrived. The shock and awe face is what I call it. LOL! Everyone always tells me the pictures are quite different from the real thing. Paris was like "I can't believe how tiny you are!" I've never heard that before in my life. LOL! We were at a store and she told me she didn't recognize me from a distance. It's really cool to hear things like that. I saw my profile in a recent photograph and didn't even recognize myself!

The transformation is odd. In some ways, I feel more like myself than I have in 20 years. And in other ways, I don't know me. I don't know this woman in pictures. This woman with cheekbones and narrow shoulders. Is that me? What does she think about or dream about? What does she want now that one of her most sacred and far-fetched dreams is coming true? Where does she go from here? I have so many other dreams and I kinda feel like I can accomplish pretty much anything now. It's liberating and scary at the same time. I have spent most of my life being the 'fat chick' and all the negative emotions/connotations that go along with it. In some ways, being that 'fat chick' has made me stronger. Maybe too strong at time (read: bitch). But in most ways, it's a cumbersome existence and I know I wrapped that label around myself like a heavy suit of armor. I need to carve out a new identity for myself; I feel like I'm up for the challenge.

While in the States, we went to Walmart. It's Mecca. I'm serious. OMG, I found everything I've been searching for for months in about an hour. Sugar-free flavored Torani syrup; sugar-free Jello pudding powder; low-carb tortilla wraps; sugar-free fudge grahams (!!!); sugar-free hot chocolate and Splenda French Vanilla coffee sticks. It is sooooo hard to find low-carb and sugar-free food in Canada. I'm thrilled that I can finally try some of the recipes in the Eggface blog (see link at left) that I have not been able to in the past. I'll let you all know how the cooking goes!