Haircut and run?

Tummy tucks are...challenging for the impatient.

I am now 14 weeks post op and lemme tell ya something; I am nowhere near back to normal. Not that I ever WAS normal, but....you know what I mean. My RNY gastric bypass was a walk in the park, recovery wise, compared to this. It's not that I've had any complications or anything like that. On the contrary, I'm doing very well! It's just a long process when someone slices through your abdominal muscles, takes off 13 pounds of skin and tissue, then sews you back up. It takes a while.

Never being one to be patient with anything at all in life, ever, this is getting on my nerves. I want to go back to my life. Can't. I still don't lift very much - because I know from past experience I'll regret it if I do - and I am not able to work out very hard. The first time I really, really pushed myself was November 18 and I felt it all week long. Thinking I could do it without my binder - or Spanx, at this point - was a mistake. I had been getting along so well that I hadn't had it on for well over a week, though I still take it to work with me every day in case I need it. Well, after that workout, I was back to wearing it every day again.

The thing is this: I need to move. I will gain weight if I don't push myself, so I'm kind of worried. And I'm out of shape from sitting on the sofa recovering.

My support group, the Community of Bariatric Patients of Southern Ontario, has put together a couple of teams to take part in an event called the Santa Shuffle. It's a 5K to support the Salvation Army. We're going to wear Santa hats and freeze our asses off, but it'll be fun and for a good cause! It's no secret that I love events like this. I never participated in sports growing up because well, just dragging my "husky" self through gym class was demoralizing enough; it never entered my head to put myself through that voluntarily! LOL! So I was 41 the first time I crossed a finish line. It was amazing! The endorphin rush and shot of self-esteem was crazy and I enjoy it every single time.

I figured a 5K would be a good, easy start to get me back into the event swing of things. I've already signed up for a 10K and a half marathon next year; I need to get my shit together. Well, after my dismal performance at the gym on Nov. 18, I got a little concerned that I would embarrass myself at the Shuffle, so I signed up for a 2.5K on the 24th. The annual Jingle Bell Run features a 2.5K fun run/walk and a 5K run to benefit the YMCA, which I belong to (that's how I found out about the event). Figuring I could use the cold-weather outing/training and event atmosphere as a warm-up to the Shuffle, I signed up for the 2.5K, the "kiddie" run. LOL! I certainly wasn't the only adult in the race, but yeah, it was mostly kids. Cute kids. Who are in way better shape than me!

I put on my cold-weather gear purchased for that one-time-only (seriously) RUN I did this past March, a set of pink cammo reindeer antlers and hoped for the best. Oh...and I wore my binder. Yeah.

The thought going in was to break my dismal 10-minute kilometer I presented at the gym on the 18th. I figured if I could beat that, in the biting cold, I would be happy. So I needed to finish under 25 minutes. And I did it! Just under 23. And right in front of an older couple, just like back in March. LOL! Yay! I beat the old people again!



I felt good during the race, no pain. Got a free massage afterwards, which always helps. Later on that night, though, my abdomen started protesting. By the next morning, I was popping Tylenol and reaching for my binder again. Wore it all week, too. I dunno....now I'm worried about the Shuffle 5K. I'll do the best I can and try not to push myself too hard but I know that will be difficult. When the race starts and I see everyone moving around me, I'll want to GO. I need to take care of myself but I also want to get moving!

My hair has been making me crazy lately, so I decided to book an appointment with a stylist popular with some of my friends in my support group. She was responsible for the makeover featured at our meet & greet last month, too. My hair is 95% back to pre-gastric bypass normal. It's thick and curly again, but still very dry and coarse. The texture isn't the same and it's not quite as thick as it once was. But I can't complain. I'd been growing it out for a long time without a good trim so it needed some help. This is the result - keep in mind I haven't worn my hair straight since the '80s. When everyone else had big hair, I was trying to tame mine by wearing it short and as straight as I could get it. LOL! Anyway...the new cut:



Am I going to recreate this every day? Hells no. It took Terra (the pro) several balms, ointments and tools (none of which I own or know how to use) to get this result and I'm just not the girl who's willing to spend a lot of time on her hair. I wash and go. She said that would be possible with this cut; I hope so. People have been raving about it - to my face, anyway! LOL! I'm still on the fence about the straight thing; the short thing I'm ok with. My first impression was that I looked like a PTA mom or an anchorwoman and much older. Conventional, conservative, sort of like everyone else's hair. It's just so different, I guess! So unlike anything I've ever done to my hair. It'll take some getting used to. The remarkable thing is that I slept on this hair last night and it still looks this way right now. THAT is incredible. LOL! The positive feedback has been nice, though - often, certainly, we see ourselves in one way while others have a different view. If enough people tell you that you look good...maybe you should believe them.

My husband is on wife #5 at this point. He just keeps looking at me and saying WOW. Not sure if it's a good wow or a bad wow.

Ah well. The ride continues!! Happy Thanksgiving if you're in the States and reading this. I miss my family during the holidays so much. Maybe one day I'll have a job where I can actually take time off every year and make it home.

Final countdown

Tomorrow, I'll participate in my first 10K "race", Minds in Motion KW Walking Classic, a competitive walk that funds good shoes for people using exercise to recover from mental illness.

I feel ready for it. I've been training for eight weeks and while I have by no means been perfect, I've stuck to the schedule pretty well. My knees are "meh"....they're ok but it is what it is. For some reason, my right ankle started feeling wonky yesterday. So whatever that's all about. We'll see how it goes. But all in all, I'm feeling good about it.

The race starts at 9am. My poor husband will go with me at what is, for him, an UNGODLY early hour. He will wait for me in the cold and rain (yes, that is the weather forecast) all so he can take a picture of me crossing the finish line, give me a big hug and kiss, and tell me how proud he is of me. Pretty special.

So cross your fingers and toes for me that all goes well! I'm pretty excited!

Then next weekend, I will participate in my second CIBC Run for the Cure, a 5K event that benefits the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation. I did the event last year. It was my first such undertaking and took me a little over an hour to finish. I injured my knee the night before so I always wondered if that had anything to do with what I considered a slow time. Next week, I'll find out for sure. It took me 45 minutes to do the Father's Day 5K, so I know I can do better than an hour.

It took me just under two hours to complete the dry run of the 10K that I did a couple Saturdays ago. Walking, mind you, no running allowed. People who run in the KW Walking Classic get disqualified, so I've been really trying to curb my desire to at least trot when the music on my mp3 player gets me going. So walking and stopping for crosswalks, traffic, strollers and dogs (not allowed on the route Sunday). I'm hoping to slash that two hours by at least 10 minutes.

In other news, I've been meaning to write a little about a new, local support group I joined. It's a very simple, casual group of people in various stages of their weight loss-surgery journeys getting together for coffee and our crazy version of fellowship. I gotta tell ya, I love these people. I haven't met one yet that I wouldn't want to take a road trip with!

The local support group is part of a larger network called the Community of Bariatric Patients of Southern Ontario. An overnight meet-and-greet is being held in Sarnia next month so everyone can get to know each other even better. I'd love to tell you I was attending but I'm not. Too short notice, most people have roommates already and it's too close to Halloween! I can't miss our annual viewing of "Rocky Horror Picture Show". LOL! Next year.

If there's a single regret I have about getting my surgery in Detroit instead of Ontario, it's that I missed out on things like this. I should've been with these people for 3 years, not 3 months. But oh well. I know about it now and I'm all in! As I've said many times before, support is so important.

Three is a magic number

Yesterday was my 3rd rebirth-day, as my husband calls it. The anniversary of my surgery and the day my life changed forever. Changing for the better every day!

Erich and I went to Stratford and took a relaxing boat tour of the Avon River. It was a beautiful day and strolling around the water watching the swans was what I needed after a week of very intense work-related stress. Celebrating low-key.

My other re-birthday gift to myself was signing up for my first 10K. I think I'm ready for a new challenge. My knees - with braces on them both - held out pretty well for the Father's Day 5K. So I'm gearing up for the Minds in Motion K-W Walking Classic on September 23. Yes, I will walk it. For some reason, people tend to make you feel badly for not running. I'm taking baby steps here - my knees thank me for it. There was also a half marathon option but nope. Not yet. Sorry!!

I posted this picture on Facebook yesterday morning and had such an overwhelming response of support from my awesome friends and family. The photo on the left was taken in December, 2008 - two months before my first visit to the surgeon in Detroit. The pic on the right was taken on Father's Day this year during the 5K I participated in for prostate cancer awareness and research.



I've said it before, but I bear no ill will to the woman on the left. She was brave and strong enough to save herself and I am grateful to her. I'm not one of those people who cringe at my 'before' photos. I still don't really recognize the woman on the right. I know it's me, but it still doesn't seem like me.

Three years seems like a long time yet it also seems like yesterday. I've learned a lot. A lot about me and those around me. Here are the top three things I know to be true:

3. I am stronger than I think I am. Who would've ever thought I could do this? Certainly not me. I mean, I wouldn't have started it if I didn't want it but I have been successful beyond my own expectations and surprised myself with my fabulous-ness!!

2. Support is the most important ingredient to inspiration and therefore, success. When you think you can't go on, there will be someone, somewhere, to let you know YOU CAN. You will. You must. It could be your partner, parent, child, friend, a stranger on tv or in a magazine. Someone. Support comes from unexpected sources, let me tell you, as does apathy. You might learn who really has your back and who doesn't; I sure did.

1. The journey never ends. It just goes on and morphs into something different as time goes by. The new normal is you being healthy, positive, looking out for yourself. Taking care of yourself. Goals are important - maintenance itself can be a goal but for me, I'm learning I need new challenges. New reasons to push myself to maintain health. Hence the 10K signup.

Let's toast to Three. It's a magic number! :)

Honey, I'm having gastric bypass surgery

I've written before about the need for a support system while tackling a weight-loss journey but there needs to be special attention paid to one important relationship: The one you have with your significant other.

I feel lucky that Erich married me when I looked like this. I've never been under any pressure from him to lose weight because I knew, right from the start, that he already loved me the way I was. Partly due to this, I believe, he was able to support me in a loving way with no ulterior motives about wanting me to look better for him; it was all about ME and how I felt. Of course, I imagine he enjoys the fact that I look better, too!

A dear friend asked me how losing 250 pounds has affected my and Erich's relationship. He said, "I can imagine how gaining 250 pounds would affect it and just wonder how losing 250 pounds would (affect it)." Erich is a man of few words. When he has something to say, there's usually a reason behind it and it's a good idea to listen. So he doesn't say a whole lot about what I've accomplished but when he does, it conveys the quiet strength and pride he himself possesses - and used to help me - that allowed me to reach my goals. Honestly I can't say he treats me any differently now than before. Love is love and it's always been there. Have I mentioned how lucky I am?

The required reading at Henry Ford for bariatric patients, Barbara Thompson's Weight Loss Surgery: Finding the Thin Person Hiding Inside You, includes a chapter for significant others written by Barbara's husband, Frank, that your spouse is also required to read. Frank begins by saying how scared he was at the thought of a doctor 'rerouting' his wife's intestines and the myriad of questions he had concerning not only the surgery itself but how both their lives would be affected afterward. Yes, he thought about himself. Of course he did! It can be a game changer and if your spouse isn't ready for the ride, bad things can happen.

I've heard stories of spouses trying to talk the patient out of surgery. "It's too dramatic!" "You're not THAT fat!" Or, of course the dreaded "Can't you just try one more time and do it yourself?" All of this is futile and the last one borders on abusive. None of it is what the patient needs or wants to hear. Education is critical. At Henry Ford, Erich was required to attend the nutritional and surgical education classes with me. He went to every doctor's appointment. He did all of that for me but for himself, too. He needed the classes just as much as I did.

When one person in the relationship changes so dramatically - for any reason - it can be tough on the couple. But with weight loss, the person who changes goes through a total transformation. Diet, lifestyle - everything is different. The way I see myself and the world around me is completely upside down from what it was, in so many ways. It makes me restless and the urge to get out and DO things is palpable. I can't be married to a couch potato and have this new life. Thank god Erich has been right there with me, willing to do new things right along beside me. His life has changed, too, and we're both so much better for it.

If you are beginning this journey and have a spouse who may not be totally supportive, I urge you to get some counseling before having the surgery because it WILL change everything about your life together and you must be ready for that. Make sure he or she is educated and understands the seriousness of your decision. If he or she is also overweight, you can do this together! Not the surgery necessarily, but when your habits change, theirs most likely will, too. That can only be a good thing...try to get them to see that. If they are still resistant well, maybe it's time to move on for your own sake. I know that may sound harsh but there comes a time when you have to take care of YOU. The longer you delay breaking free of your body, the shorter your time will be to enjoy it. And that's worth thinking about.