At some point, we have to admit our humanity.
Since losing weight, I've done a lot of things I never thought I could. One that I enjoy most is participating in running/walking events. From my first 5K to the half marathon I completed last year, they are all exciting milestones in my mind. As a heavy child/teenager, I never participated in sports, so this whole thing of pushing my body towards a tangible finish line is new to me. People cheering for me, receiving a medal or ribbon at the end, the feeling of accomplishment - just the act of crossing a finish line - is a sort of addiction to me. I love it so much! And besides, the necessary training for these events keeps me in the gym and focused (most of the time!) on healthy habits.
I signed up for the half marathon right after I finished it last year, at a highly discounted price. Great! Of course I'll do it again! Then just a few weeks later I got the call to have my tummy tuck done. The recovery from the tummy tuck is looooonnnnggg. At least, mine has been. I haven't had any complications, but my whole torso is still...fragile. I'm now 8 months post-op and still have to be careful about how much I lift and exert myself. Honestly, I didn't do much at ALL for a few months. I started getting back into short walks in October, still wearing my abdominal binder. I even signed up for and completed a couple of events in the late fall, trying to get my mojo back. One 2.5K and one 5K. I wore TWO binders for both events and all went well. The knees were holding up, too.
By the time the Santa Shuffle 5K rolled around in early December, I had been pretty sick with what I thought was a cold for about a week. Just a day beforehand, I had a fever. But on race day, I was feeling a little better so decided to go. It was freezing and snowing out, and my nose was running like Niagara Falls (LOL) but I did well. My first trip to the doctor came a few days later. Sinus infection. First round of antibiotics, three-week supply. By Christmas, I was doing better (meaning no fever) and even though I was completely exhausted, I trudged through shopping, wrapping, dinner, etc. I had a few days of normalcy in early January, then got "sick" again. Waited about a week or so, went back to the doctor...sinus infection. More antibiotics. Didn't seem to help much, but I put off going back to the doctor. We're into February at this point. I had now been ill since November, pretty much all the time. No gym, no NOTHING. I was sitting on my ass folks, clutching a box of tissues and using a sinus rinse (which did NOTHING for me). We used so many tissues, Erich said we should buy stock in Puffs. I'd have a day where I would start to feel better and I'd think "Ok, I'll go to the gym tomorrow." Then I'd wake up feeling like a Mack truck ran over me in my sleep. OR...we'd get 12 inches of snow. This was shaping up to be one of the worst winters I'd ever had, both weather-wise and health-wise.
So I went back to the doctor in early February because I didn't want to be sick as a dog on my birthday on the 7th and we had a trip planned to Ohio on the 15th, for a week's stay with my parents. For the second year in a row, I did not make it home for Christmas. New job, and apparently people have to die before I get my turn in line to have Christmas off. So yeah. Doctor. Sinus infection again. Really?? More antibiotics. I took them for almost a week then came home from work one night and noticed I was getting what looked to be a rash on my neck. Hm. I showed it to Erich and had him take a photo of it. Having already planned to return to the doctor yet again the next morning since the antibiotics weren't working, I wanted to show this "rash" to him in case it cleared up while I slept. I took some Benadryl (couldn't hurt, right?) and went to bed.
Well. I woke up covered head to toe in little red dots.
When I got to the doctor's office, he looked at me and started muttering, "Oh no. Hm. Wow. Ok." He said I was having a reaction to the antibiotic and needed to go to the emergency room right away. I had a high fever, but wasn't having trouble breathing or anything. I went home, got Erich, called in sick to work and went to the ER. Long story short...I wasn't responding to the treatment they were giving me, so they decided to keep me overnight for observation. I started to improve overnight and by morning, the rash was almost totally gone. The doctor on staff brought an intern to see me and the strange-looking rash because he'd never seen anything like it before. Of course! Leave it to me to be weird! LOL!
In the end, I stopped taking EVERYTHING to get a handle on this rash. I had been taking over-the-counter meds, too, and of course my vitamins and supplements I always take. I stopped it all, including the new round of antibiotics the hospital physician prescribed to me. We went ahead with our trip to Ohio and eventually, I got better. Fingers crossed, I've been ok ever since. But then my problems started with my knees.
I have wanted to move out of our apartment for years now, ever since I lost weight especially. When we moved here, there were two units available - one on the main floor, one in the basement. You walk into the building and either go up a flight of stairs to the main floor, or down a flight to the basement. At well over 400 pounds, I remember thinking which option would be better for me if I was coming home with a load of groceries or just back from a hard day....I wanted to go DOWN, not up. So we took the basement apartment. Now, it's not as bad as you might think. The entire street-facing side of the apartment is nothing but big windows with lots of light coming through. It's not like I live in a hole in the ground! LOL! The main thing I want is outdoor living space. A balcony, a patio. Something.
We like the building, the neighborhood, our landlord, our super. We hate to move. There are three-bedroom units here, so we were considering moving to the third floor, where a unit might be opening up soon. So, when we returned from Ohio, I started climbing to the third floor a couple times a day, just to see how my knees would handle it. Well, guess what? They won't. I might have lost weight, but the damage has already been done. I started having debilitating knee pain for the first time in years. Like, really hurting. Barely able to walk around at work some nights. Yes, I'm a graphic designer but I do soooo much more than that. Some nights, I'm working in four different rooms at once, running around all over the place. There is no way I could've done this job pre-op; it's too physical. So this knee thing is a big issue.
But I iced it, wore my braces, etc. I had two 10Ks coming up, as well as the half marathon again in June. I was behind in my training schedule and starting to panic a little. So I went to the gym and likely overdid it. 8K on the treadmill. OMG....severe knee pain for a couple of days. I've gone back to my family doctor to begin a physiotherapy program.
I am doing better, but certainly not well enough to chance a half marathon. Not only because of my bum knees, but because I'm just not ready. I've spent too much time on my ass recovering from the tummy tuck, recurring sinus infections, etc. I just don't feel like it would be smart of me to say "I can do this!" and go out a kill myself in the process. I have nothing to prove to anyone and there's always next year. I will participate in the two events for which I had originally registered a 10K, I just switched them to 5K. That's more reasonable, I think, and very do-able. But the half marathon is out.
At first, I was really upset about all of this. It seemed like taking a step back. I suppose it is, but it's what's best for me now.
Erich and I are looking for a new place outside this building now - preferably either a main-level unit or someplace with an elevator because my knees can't do stairs (apparently). I'm continuing with my knee rehab and doing well, although the core exercises are waking up my midsection in a sometimes-unpleasant way! I'm in the gym twice a week doing light biking and walking. Sometimes it feels like I'll never be back to normal from the tummy tuck, but there are still no regrets. Life is an adventure and if the road turns and twists, well, that's what makes it interesting, right? Onward!
P.S. Sorry this is so long, and if you've read it all, thank you! It's good for me to get these things out. I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read my ramblings.
Showing posts with label 5K. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 5K. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Haircut and run?
Tummy tucks are...challenging for the impatient.
I am now 14 weeks post op and lemme tell ya something; I am nowhere near back to normal. Not that I ever WAS normal, but....you know what I mean. My RNY gastric bypass was a walk in the park, recovery wise, compared to this. It's not that I've had any complications or anything like that. On the contrary, I'm doing very well! It's just a long process when someone slices through your abdominal muscles, takes off 13 pounds of skin and tissue, then sews you back up. It takes a while.
Never being one to be patient with anything at all in life, ever, this is getting on my nerves. I want to go back to my life. Can't. I still don't lift very much - because I know from past experience I'll regret it if I do - and I am not able to work out very hard. The first time I really, really pushed myself was November 18 and I felt it all week long. Thinking I could do it without my binder - or Spanx, at this point - was a mistake. I had been getting along so well that I hadn't had it on for well over a week, though I still take it to work with me every day in case I need it. Well, after that workout, I was back to wearing it every day again.
The thing is this: I need to move. I will gain weight if I don't push myself, so I'm kind of worried. And I'm out of shape from sitting on the sofa recovering.
My support group, the Community of Bariatric Patients of Southern Ontario, has put together a couple of teams to take part in an event called the Santa Shuffle. It's a 5K to support the Salvation Army. We're going to wear Santa hats and freeze our asses off, but it'll be fun and for a good cause! It's no secret that I love events like this. I never participated in sports growing up because well, just dragging my "husky" self through gym class was demoralizing enough; it never entered my head to put myself through that voluntarily! LOL! So I was 41 the first time I crossed a finish line. It was amazing! The endorphin rush and shot of self-esteem was crazy and I enjoy it every single time.
I figured a 5K would be a good, easy start to get me back into the event swing of things. I've already signed up for a 10K and a half marathon next year; I need to get my shit together. Well, after my dismal performance at the gym on Nov. 18, I got a little concerned that I would embarrass myself at the Shuffle, so I signed up for a 2.5K on the 24th. The annual Jingle Bell Run features a 2.5K fun run/walk and a 5K run to benefit the YMCA, which I belong to (that's how I found out about the event). Figuring I could use the cold-weather outing/training and event atmosphere as a warm-up to the Shuffle, I signed up for the 2.5K, the "kiddie" run. LOL! I certainly wasn't the only adult in the race, but yeah, it was mostly kids. Cute kids. Who are in way better shape than me!
I put on my cold-weather gear purchased for that one-time-only (seriously) RUN I did this past March, a set of pink cammo reindeer antlers and hoped for the best. Oh...and I wore my binder. Yeah.
The thought going in was to break my dismal 10-minute kilometer I presented at the gym on the 18th. I figured if I could beat that, in the biting cold, I would be happy. So I needed to finish under 25 minutes. And I did it! Just under 23. And right in front of an older couple, just like back in March. LOL! Yay! I beat the old people again!
I felt good during the race, no pain. Got a free massage afterwards, which always helps. Later on that night, though, my abdomen started protesting. By the next morning, I was popping Tylenol and reaching for my binder again. Wore it all week, too. I dunno....now I'm worried about the Shuffle 5K. I'll do the best I can and try not to push myself too hard but I know that will be difficult. When the race starts and I see everyone moving around me, I'll want to GO. I need to take care of myself but I also want to get moving!
My hair has been making me crazy lately, so I decided to book an appointment with a stylist popular with some of my friends in my support group. She was responsible for the makeover featured at our meet & greet last month, too. My hair is 95% back to pre-gastric bypass normal. It's thick and curly again, but still very dry and coarse. The texture isn't the same and it's not quite as thick as it once was. But I can't complain. I'd been growing it out for a long time without a good trim so it needed some help. This is the result - keep in mind I haven't worn my hair straight since the '80s. When everyone else had big hair, I was trying to tame mine by wearing it short and as straight as I could get it. LOL! Anyway...the new cut:
Am I going to recreate this every day? Hells no. It took Terra (the pro) several balms, ointments and tools (none of which I own or know how to use) to get this result and I'm just not the girl who's willing to spend a lot of time on her hair. I wash and go. She said that would be possible with this cut; I hope so. People have been raving about it - to my face, anyway! LOL! I'm still on the fence about the straight thing; the short thing I'm ok with. My first impression was that I looked like a PTA mom or an anchorwoman and much older. Conventional, conservative, sort of like everyone else's hair. It's just so different, I guess! So unlike anything I've ever done to my hair. It'll take some getting used to. The remarkable thing is that I slept on this hair last night and it still looks this way right now. THAT is incredible. LOL! The positive feedback has been nice, though - often, certainly, we see ourselves in one way while others have a different view. If enough people tell you that you look good...maybe you should believe them.
My husband is on wife #5 at this point. He just keeps looking at me and saying WOW. Not sure if it's a good wow or a bad wow.
Ah well. The ride continues!! Happy Thanksgiving if you're in the States and reading this. I miss my family during the holidays so much. Maybe one day I'll have a job where I can actually take time off every year and make it home.
I am now 14 weeks post op and lemme tell ya something; I am nowhere near back to normal. Not that I ever WAS normal, but....you know what I mean. My RNY gastric bypass was a walk in the park, recovery wise, compared to this. It's not that I've had any complications or anything like that. On the contrary, I'm doing very well! It's just a long process when someone slices through your abdominal muscles, takes off 13 pounds of skin and tissue, then sews you back up. It takes a while.
Never being one to be patient with anything at all in life, ever, this is getting on my nerves. I want to go back to my life. Can't. I still don't lift very much - because I know from past experience I'll regret it if I do - and I am not able to work out very hard. The first time I really, really pushed myself was November 18 and I felt it all week long. Thinking I could do it without my binder - or Spanx, at this point - was a mistake. I had been getting along so well that I hadn't had it on for well over a week, though I still take it to work with me every day in case I need it. Well, after that workout, I was back to wearing it every day again.
The thing is this: I need to move. I will gain weight if I don't push myself, so I'm kind of worried. And I'm out of shape from sitting on the sofa recovering.
My support group, the Community of Bariatric Patients of Southern Ontario, has put together a couple of teams to take part in an event called the Santa Shuffle. It's a 5K to support the Salvation Army. We're going to wear Santa hats and freeze our asses off, but it'll be fun and for a good cause! It's no secret that I love events like this. I never participated in sports growing up because well, just dragging my "husky" self through gym class was demoralizing enough; it never entered my head to put myself through that voluntarily! LOL! So I was 41 the first time I crossed a finish line. It was amazing! The endorphin rush and shot of self-esteem was crazy and I enjoy it every single time.
I figured a 5K would be a good, easy start to get me back into the event swing of things. I've already signed up for a 10K and a half marathon next year; I need to get my shit together. Well, after my dismal performance at the gym on Nov. 18, I got a little concerned that I would embarrass myself at the Shuffle, so I signed up for a 2.5K on the 24th. The annual Jingle Bell Run features a 2.5K fun run/walk and a 5K run to benefit the YMCA, which I belong to (that's how I found out about the event). Figuring I could use the cold-weather outing/training and event atmosphere as a warm-up to the Shuffle, I signed up for the 2.5K, the "kiddie" run. LOL! I certainly wasn't the only adult in the race, but yeah, it was mostly kids. Cute kids. Who are in way better shape than me!
I put on my cold-weather gear purchased for that one-time-only (seriously) RUN I did this past March, a set of pink cammo reindeer antlers and hoped for the best. Oh...and I wore my binder. Yeah.
The thought going in was to break my dismal 10-minute kilometer I presented at the gym on the 18th. I figured if I could beat that, in the biting cold, I would be happy. So I needed to finish under 25 minutes. And I did it! Just under 23. And right in front of an older couple, just like back in March. LOL! Yay! I beat the old people again!
I felt good during the race, no pain. Got a free massage afterwards, which always helps. Later on that night, though, my abdomen started protesting. By the next morning, I was popping Tylenol and reaching for my binder again. Wore it all week, too. I dunno....now I'm worried about the Shuffle 5K. I'll do the best I can and try not to push myself too hard but I know that will be difficult. When the race starts and I see everyone moving around me, I'll want to GO. I need to take care of myself but I also want to get moving!
My hair has been making me crazy lately, so I decided to book an appointment with a stylist popular with some of my friends in my support group. She was responsible for the makeover featured at our meet & greet last month, too. My hair is 95% back to pre-gastric bypass normal. It's thick and curly again, but still very dry and coarse. The texture isn't the same and it's not quite as thick as it once was. But I can't complain. I'd been growing it out for a long time without a good trim so it needed some help. This is the result - keep in mind I haven't worn my hair straight since the '80s. When everyone else had big hair, I was trying to tame mine by wearing it short and as straight as I could get it. LOL! Anyway...the new cut:
Am I going to recreate this every day? Hells no. It took Terra (the pro) several balms, ointments and tools (none of which I own or know how to use) to get this result and I'm just not the girl who's willing to spend a lot of time on her hair. I wash and go. She said that would be possible with this cut; I hope so. People have been raving about it - to my face, anyway! LOL! I'm still on the fence about the straight thing; the short thing I'm ok with. My first impression was that I looked like a PTA mom or an anchorwoman and much older. Conventional, conservative, sort of like everyone else's hair. It's just so different, I guess! So unlike anything I've ever done to my hair. It'll take some getting used to. The remarkable thing is that I slept on this hair last night and it still looks this way right now. THAT is incredible. LOL! The positive feedback has been nice, though - often, certainly, we see ourselves in one way while others have a different view. If enough people tell you that you look good...maybe you should believe them.
My husband is on wife #5 at this point. He just keeps looking at me and saying WOW. Not sure if it's a good wow or a bad wow.
Ah well. The ride continues!! Happy Thanksgiving if you're in the States and reading this. I miss my family during the holidays so much. Maybe one day I'll have a job where I can actually take time off every year and make it home.
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Finish lines
So I did it - last month, I completed by first running 5K. Now, will I do it again? Probably not.
It was bitterly cold that day and since it was an inaugural race, pretty poorly organized. Some runners, myself included, got a little turned around on the badly marked course. I estimate that it affected my time by 2-3 minutes. Aggravating, to say the least.
The day before the event, I went to a runners' specialty store and bought some cold-weather clothing. Lemme tell you something...if you're not already fit, then I guess walking/running isn't for you because you won't be able to find clothing in these stores. They had nothing for women above a size large, and an x-large for men. Cindy needs a women's x-large (and because these items are so tight and my desperate need for a tummy tuck, I'd prefer a 2X). I was like "Are you kidding me?" Honest to god...way to make someone feel like a rhinoceros. Is my horn showing? But, I needed this stuff as the forecast was for wind chills below zero. Plus, I had a WagJag coupon to use so I decided to try on the men's XL, and it was suitable. Not only is the stuff size-stupid, but you should probably have a damn good job to be a serious runner/walker. I got a jacket off the clearance rack and a long-sleeved shirt. $75...and this was AFTER I used my $50 WagJag. Right. I looked pretty spiffy, though!
But they worked, because I wasn't really cold the next day. I lined up and took off, bringing up the rear immediately. No matter. I kept on. There were supposed to be walkers, but by god I never saw any until the end of the race, when some of them caught up with me. LOL! An older couple directed me back onto the course and I managed to finish ahead of them, as well as most (if not all) of the walkers. Dead last of the runners, though.
I have a tendency to run toward Erich at the finish line. If I see him, I go to him - not the finish line. I've done this several times now. Last June, at the Father's Day 5K in London, he had to tell me to go one more lap around the track. I saw him and thought I was done, I guess! And at the Minds in Motion 10K last fall, I almost went right past the guy handing out the medals at the finish line because I was focused on my husband. How weird is that? Well, I did it again this time. I had to swerve away from him to cross the finish line because I went right for him. Then the girl recording everyone's time on their bibs had to come and turn me around. LOL! My first words to Erich were "I beat the old people!" Then I was horrified that I screamed it, because I had loud music going in my ears. GAH.
According to their time, I finished in 46:18. A pitiful time but at least I finished. Oh, and they completely screwed up my name. Check it out...Uncle Albert?
I had my Couch-2-5K program running during the race and it clocked me at just over 40 minutes. I dunno. Again, whatever. I finished! Twice! Because on the Wednesday before the race, I ran a 5K on the treadmill at the gym, just to see if I could. Now, this was probably a mistake...which takes me back to my first paragraph and why I won't be running anymore. At least, I don't think so.
My left knee is a bitch. Both of them are shot, but the left one is worse. I wore braces on both knees all during training and on race day, but I was mainlining Tylenol Arthritis for a good 10 days afterwards. The pain was so chronic that I was thinking for a while I might need to go see my doctor about it, worrying that it wasn't getting much better. But eventually it did subside and seems to be ok now. However, I did do the damn 5K twice in four days. Probably not very smart.
Every time I achieve something new, I want to go farther. It's like I need to keep proving to myself that this is really me, I can really do these things; the weight is gone. I don't know if I'll get over that. Also, when I know I have a race coming up, I train - a.k.a., move my ass. If there's no event coming up then I'm likely to stay on the sofa watching Dr. Phil. "So how's that workin' for ya?" Yeah, not too great. I still would like to lose another 15 pounds or so. That's my sweet spot and a weight I can maintain if I'm smart about it and not go off the rails like I did last year. I'm on it. It'll come off.
Last Monday, the Boston Marathon Bombings affected people around the world, of course, but I think especially those of us who regularly compete in races. I'm doing a (walking) half marathon in Niagara Falls in June, and one of the girls posted in our group, wondering aloud if anyone was bothered by the fact that we'll be in a similar situation very soon...lining up, ready to do something we've always wanted to do...to prove we CAN do it...and working to cross that finish line and greet our loved ones. My local running club sent out invites to "Run for Boston" at a special event last Wednesday evening.
I'll tell you this: Erich has waited for me at every finish line, at every event I've ever participated in. To think that people like him...who just wanted to see their loved ones achieve a lofty goal, cheering them on with love and support, waiting to snap that victory picture...were targeted with such hate is very difficult. For me, I wait to see my husband's smiling face behind a camera lens at the finish line. It's part of what I train for, to see the look of pride in his eyes and the "Good job, baby," in my ear when I'm done. And of course, when you are in a race, the last thing you are thinking about is death and chaos waiting for you at the finish line. You're thinking about achievement, support and love. It's a scary thing and will probably change how people think at these events for a long time to come, if not forever.
But we'll still run or walk...crawl if we have to. For Boston, for us, for freedoms that no coward with a pressure-cooker bomb can take away. Screw 'em. Let's go!
It was bitterly cold that day and since it was an inaugural race, pretty poorly organized. Some runners, myself included, got a little turned around on the badly marked course. I estimate that it affected my time by 2-3 minutes. Aggravating, to say the least.
The day before the event, I went to a runners' specialty store and bought some cold-weather clothing. Lemme tell you something...if you're not already fit, then I guess walking/running isn't for you because you won't be able to find clothing in these stores. They had nothing for women above a size large, and an x-large for men. Cindy needs a women's x-large (and because these items are so tight and my desperate need for a tummy tuck, I'd prefer a 2X). I was like "Are you kidding me?" Honest to god...way to make someone feel like a rhinoceros. Is my horn showing? But, I needed this stuff as the forecast was for wind chills below zero. Plus, I had a WagJag coupon to use so I decided to try on the men's XL, and it was suitable. Not only is the stuff size-stupid, but you should probably have a damn good job to be a serious runner/walker. I got a jacket off the clearance rack and a long-sleeved shirt. $75...and this was AFTER I used my $50 WagJag. Right. I looked pretty spiffy, though!
But they worked, because I wasn't really cold the next day. I lined up and took off, bringing up the rear immediately. No matter. I kept on. There were supposed to be walkers, but by god I never saw any until the end of the race, when some of them caught up with me. LOL! An older couple directed me back onto the course and I managed to finish ahead of them, as well as most (if not all) of the walkers. Dead last of the runners, though.
I have a tendency to run toward Erich at the finish line. If I see him, I go to him - not the finish line. I've done this several times now. Last June, at the Father's Day 5K in London, he had to tell me to go one more lap around the track. I saw him and thought I was done, I guess! And at the Minds in Motion 10K last fall, I almost went right past the guy handing out the medals at the finish line because I was focused on my husband. How weird is that? Well, I did it again this time. I had to swerve away from him to cross the finish line because I went right for him. Then the girl recording everyone's time on their bibs had to come and turn me around. LOL! My first words to Erich were "I beat the old people!" Then I was horrified that I screamed it, because I had loud music going in my ears. GAH.
According to their time, I finished in 46:18. A pitiful time but at least I finished. Oh, and they completely screwed up my name. Check it out...Uncle Albert?
I had my Couch-2-5K program running during the race and it clocked me at just over 40 minutes. I dunno. Again, whatever. I finished! Twice! Because on the Wednesday before the race, I ran a 5K on the treadmill at the gym, just to see if I could. Now, this was probably a mistake...which takes me back to my first paragraph and why I won't be running anymore. At least, I don't think so.
My left knee is a bitch. Both of them are shot, but the left one is worse. I wore braces on both knees all during training and on race day, but I was mainlining Tylenol Arthritis for a good 10 days afterwards. The pain was so chronic that I was thinking for a while I might need to go see my doctor about it, worrying that it wasn't getting much better. But eventually it did subside and seems to be ok now. However, I did do the damn 5K twice in four days. Probably not very smart.
Every time I achieve something new, I want to go farther. It's like I need to keep proving to myself that this is really me, I can really do these things; the weight is gone. I don't know if I'll get over that. Also, when I know I have a race coming up, I train - a.k.a., move my ass. If there's no event coming up then I'm likely to stay on the sofa watching Dr. Phil. "So how's that workin' for ya?" Yeah, not too great. I still would like to lose another 15 pounds or so. That's my sweet spot and a weight I can maintain if I'm smart about it and not go off the rails like I did last year. I'm on it. It'll come off.
Last Monday, the Boston Marathon Bombings affected people around the world, of course, but I think especially those of us who regularly compete in races. I'm doing a (walking) half marathon in Niagara Falls in June, and one of the girls posted in our group, wondering aloud if anyone was bothered by the fact that we'll be in a similar situation very soon...lining up, ready to do something we've always wanted to do...to prove we CAN do it...and working to cross that finish line and greet our loved ones. My local running club sent out invites to "Run for Boston" at a special event last Wednesday evening.
I'll tell you this: Erich has waited for me at every finish line, at every event I've ever participated in. To think that people like him...who just wanted to see their loved ones achieve a lofty goal, cheering them on with love and support, waiting to snap that victory picture...were targeted with such hate is very difficult. For me, I wait to see my husband's smiling face behind a camera lens at the finish line. It's part of what I train for, to see the look of pride in his eyes and the "Good job, baby," in my ear when I'm done. And of course, when you are in a race, the last thing you are thinking about is death and chaos waiting for you at the finish line. You're thinking about achievement, support and love. It's a scary thing and will probably change how people think at these events for a long time to come, if not forever.
But we'll still run or walk...crawl if we have to. For Boston, for us, for freedoms that no coward with a pressure-cooker bomb can take away. Screw 'em. Let's go!
Thursday, September 27, 2012
The 10K Route
You all know my motto is "You are stronger than you think you are." The reason I tell myself this all the time - and ask you to do the same - is it's true. My body continually surprises me with what it can do.
My 10K was this past Sunday and well, I did great! Smashed my goal of 1:45 and really proved to myself that when I want to, I can achieve a lot more than I think.
Chip time (each bib was outfitted with a timer): 1:35:09
Place: 123 (out of 262 entrants, 227 finishers)
Gender place: 84 (out of 167 female finishers)
This isn't bad, in my opinion, in a race that featured competitive walkers. It was also my first attempt at a 10K. I'm pretty pleased with these results. My only complaint was the timer at the finish line seemed to be off. When I crossed the finish line, the time I saw said 1:30:21. I was REALLY happy about that! So when I saw the chip times posted, I was a little disappointed. Still a good time, but not what I'd originally thought.
When Erich and I picked up my race kit the day before the race, they took one look at me and said "You might want the 2X. The shirts are fitting small." Excuse me? LOL! I registered for the women's XL and the guy was right; I ended up with a men's 2X, not the women's 2X (which is smaller). These were the tiniest, tightest, most unflattering shirts I've ever seen in my life. Like they wanted us to channel Lance Armstrong or something, in his yellow Tour de France jersey. Here's me before the race (ignore the desperate need for a tummy tuck):
It was cold on race day but the sun was shining. No rain, as was forecast. I swear....you'd think that as time goes on, advancing technology would enable weather forecasting to be more and more accurate. Erich and I both think the opposite is happening. You can truly have no faith in the forecast. Just wait and look outside. Don't make plans based on what the weather guy says!
The course was very hilly. After about the 4th hill, I grumbled "Jesus, who mapped this course out??" All I kept thinking was I had to do it all over again because the 10K was essentially two loops of the 5K.
Halfway point:
It took me 45 minutes to get to this point. To put that in perspective, it took me 47 minutes to do the Father's Day 5K in June...and I jogged for some of that. WTF? I was seriously surprised at my time. But I didn't think I could keep up the pace because of those hills.
But I did! Well, pretty much, anyway! I don't mind saying I was really proud of myself. As I crossed the finish line and they put that medal around my neck, I could see Erich there with the camera pointed at me, huge smile on his face. I went straight to him and got my hug & kiss. My husband rocks.
Finish line:
Red face, as usual:
My knees held up fine during the race, but it was a different story when I got home and the next day. I was pretty sore. Lots of ice and Tylenol Arthritis. Sunday night, I went to my coffee meeting that I wrote about in my last blog. I nearly fell asleep and had to leave early. Wiped out!
But by Tuesday, I was pretty much back to normal. My body bounces back quickly now and again...I am stronger than I think I am. It's very important to push yourself because trust me, you are capable of a lot if you just believe.
Our brains tell us lies, and if we listen, we cost ourselves surprises. - Andrew Zimmern
I have another 5K this Sunday, the CIBC Run for the Cure, an event that benefits the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation. I did it last year and I have no doubt that I'll beat my time. Forecast is for rain and cold again. Suuureeeee. We'll see!
My 10K was this past Sunday and well, I did great! Smashed my goal of 1:45 and really proved to myself that when I want to, I can achieve a lot more than I think.
Chip time (each bib was outfitted with a timer): 1:35:09
Place: 123 (out of 262 entrants, 227 finishers)
Gender place: 84 (out of 167 female finishers)
This isn't bad, in my opinion, in a race that featured competitive walkers. It was also my first attempt at a 10K. I'm pretty pleased with these results. My only complaint was the timer at the finish line seemed to be off. When I crossed the finish line, the time I saw said 1:30:21. I was REALLY happy about that! So when I saw the chip times posted, I was a little disappointed. Still a good time, but not what I'd originally thought.
When Erich and I picked up my race kit the day before the race, they took one look at me and said "You might want the 2X. The shirts are fitting small." Excuse me? LOL! I registered for the women's XL and the guy was right; I ended up with a men's 2X, not the women's 2X (which is smaller). These were the tiniest, tightest, most unflattering shirts I've ever seen in my life. Like they wanted us to channel Lance Armstrong or something, in his yellow Tour de France jersey. Here's me before the race (ignore the desperate need for a tummy tuck):
It was cold on race day but the sun was shining. No rain, as was forecast. I swear....you'd think that as time goes on, advancing technology would enable weather forecasting to be more and more accurate. Erich and I both think the opposite is happening. You can truly have no faith in the forecast. Just wait and look outside. Don't make plans based on what the weather guy says!
The course was very hilly. After about the 4th hill, I grumbled "Jesus, who mapped this course out??" All I kept thinking was I had to do it all over again because the 10K was essentially two loops of the 5K.
Halfway point:
It took me 45 minutes to get to this point. To put that in perspective, it took me 47 minutes to do the Father's Day 5K in June...and I jogged for some of that. WTF? I was seriously surprised at my time. But I didn't think I could keep up the pace because of those hills.
But I did! Well, pretty much, anyway! I don't mind saying I was really proud of myself. As I crossed the finish line and they put that medal around my neck, I could see Erich there with the camera pointed at me, huge smile on his face. I went straight to him and got my hug & kiss. My husband rocks.
Finish line:
Red face, as usual:
My knees held up fine during the race, but it was a different story when I got home and the next day. I was pretty sore. Lots of ice and Tylenol Arthritis. Sunday night, I went to my coffee meeting that I wrote about in my last blog. I nearly fell asleep and had to leave early. Wiped out!
But by Tuesday, I was pretty much back to normal. My body bounces back quickly now and again...I am stronger than I think I am. It's very important to push yourself because trust me, you are capable of a lot if you just believe.
Our brains tell us lies, and if we listen, we cost ourselves surprises. - Andrew Zimmern
I have another 5K this Sunday, the CIBC Run for the Cure, an event that benefits the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation. I did it last year and I have no doubt that I'll beat my time. Forecast is for rain and cold again. Suuureeeee. We'll see!
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
My best time
Greetings fellow....people!
On Sunday, I spent father's day in London, Ontario participating in Prostate Cancer Canada's Father's Day 5K Walk/Run. It rained the night before and the entire morning, but by the time we took off, it stopped. Later on, the sun came out and all was right with the world. Running the entire 5K would've been ideal but I'm just not there yet. Not like I've trained super hard to do it, either. I ran when I could, walked when I couldn't.
I raised $510 for the cause and I'm pleased with that. All told, over a million dollars got poured into the coffers from races all over the country. So that's awesome.
Coming into the finish, I got the shock of my life when the clock said just over 47 minutes. We got a late start and I wasn't really sure how long I'd been gone. That time is not great, I know. But in October at the CIBC Run for the Cure, the 5K took me just over an hour to complete. So this is real progress and I'm proud of that sucky time! Erich was waiting for me at the finish line. He said he checked out the clock said to himself "Oh, I have 15 or 20 minutes to wait for her," then all of the sudden I was jogging towards him! Very cool to surprise him like that and make him proud.
Some pics from the race (click to enlarge):
Ready for the rain (ditched the poncho soon after this was taken):
Finish line!
I know my face is blood red but honest to god, I felt like a million bucks. My face reddens very easily under normal circumstances. The picture gave my mom a fright, though. LOL!
Back at the hotel after the race, we had the guy behind the counter take our pic:
I ordered those shirts we have on from Zazzle. Much better to deal with than Cafe Press, I'm just sayin'. And no, they didn't pay me to say that. I'm thinking of putting in another order after I came across this shirt. Too lame? Probably. Meh.
Last night, beautious bariatric blogger Beth Badore (a.k.a. Melting Mama) FINALLY appeared on ABC doing what she does best - shooting straight. Beth went to NYC weeks ago to film an interview with Deborah Roberts that was supposed to appear on an hour-long 20/20 special on weight loss. Ended up on the cutting room floor. Well, they resurrected the piece for Nightline and its story on alcohol addiction and weight-loss surgery (WLS).
The thing is, those of us who have had WLS possess addictive personalities. The tendency for some is to replace one addiction for another when food is taken out of the equation. Drugs and alcohol are easy new soulmates due to the re-plumbing we had via the surgery...we feel the effects faster. We get drunk faster and we sober up faster. And, as Beth so eloquently put it, "If you can't swallow chicken, you can swallow wine." Poultry, for non-WLS readers, is a notoriously rough food for patients to get down. Some can never eat it again - I can (thank goodness). Check out the video HERE.
On Sunday, I spent father's day in London, Ontario participating in Prostate Cancer Canada's Father's Day 5K Walk/Run. It rained the night before and the entire morning, but by the time we took off, it stopped. Later on, the sun came out and all was right with the world. Running the entire 5K would've been ideal but I'm just not there yet. Not like I've trained super hard to do it, either. I ran when I could, walked when I couldn't.
I raised $510 for the cause and I'm pleased with that. All told, over a million dollars got poured into the coffers from races all over the country. So that's awesome.
Coming into the finish, I got the shock of my life when the clock said just over 47 minutes. We got a late start and I wasn't really sure how long I'd been gone. That time is not great, I know. But in October at the CIBC Run for the Cure, the 5K took me just over an hour to complete. So this is real progress and I'm proud of that sucky time! Erich was waiting for me at the finish line. He said he checked out the clock said to himself "Oh, I have 15 or 20 minutes to wait for her," then all of the sudden I was jogging towards him! Very cool to surprise him like that and make him proud.
Some pics from the race (click to enlarge):
Ready for the rain (ditched the poncho soon after this was taken):
Finish line!
I know my face is blood red but honest to god, I felt like a million bucks. My face reddens very easily under normal circumstances. The picture gave my mom a fright, though. LOL!
Back at the hotel after the race, we had the guy behind the counter take our pic:
I ordered those shirts we have on from Zazzle. Much better to deal with than Cafe Press, I'm just sayin'. And no, they didn't pay me to say that. I'm thinking of putting in another order after I came across this shirt. Too lame? Probably. Meh.
Last night, beautious bariatric blogger Beth Badore (a.k.a. Melting Mama) FINALLY appeared on ABC doing what she does best - shooting straight. Beth went to NYC weeks ago to film an interview with Deborah Roberts that was supposed to appear on an hour-long 20/20 special on weight loss. Ended up on the cutting room floor. Well, they resurrected the piece for Nightline and its story on alcohol addiction and weight-loss surgery (WLS).
The thing is, those of us who have had WLS possess addictive personalities. The tendency for some is to replace one addiction for another when food is taken out of the equation. Drugs and alcohol are easy new soulmates due to the re-plumbing we had via the surgery...we feel the effects faster. We get drunk faster and we sober up faster. And, as Beth so eloquently put it, "If you can't swallow chicken, you can swallow wine." Poultry, for non-WLS readers, is a notoriously rough food for patients to get down. Some can never eat it again - I can (thank goodness). Check out the video HERE.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Re-gain and re-run
It's hard to believe I am coming up on the 3-year anniversary of my surgery. So many changes and yet so many things are the same. My husband refers to July 7 as my "re-birthday"; I am one of those cheesy people who often consider new years (January 1, birthdays, anniversaries) as a chance to push the re-set button on whatever needs to be tweaked. This year, as I approach my re-birthday, I know what needs to be done.
This journey never ends, it just changes. For me, I am dealing with a bit of regain and of course that needs to be stopped in its tracks. I've been struggling with it since last fall, when something happened that made the already overwhelming stress in my life just a bit more of a vivid stoplight red. I won't go into that but I definitely recognized the pathological, comfortable reaction for me was to medicate with my old frenemy food. The good thing is that I did recognize it and it hasn't gotten completely out of hand, but I feel like I need to start over a little bit. So I'm going back to 2009 in a few ways. I'm re-reading my faithful blue binder that the awesome team at Henry Ford Hospital gave to me. I'm looking within myself and remembering the reasons I did this and how it would feel to go back. NO going back. Ever. I'm even thinking of heading back to the pool. It helped me so much back then and was so much fun. I stopped going because I couldn't really afford a gym membership and pool time, but my gym membership is dirt cheap now so I'm going back into the water.
Complacency is an addict's worst enemy. So many of us get to goal and feel a fucked-up sense of entitlement, of "I'm thin now, so I can eat what I want." No, you can't. If the reformed drinker or smoker says that, the shit hits the fan. No different with me. Having said that, I have no desire to be a food Nazi. Life is more than 1200 calories a day, no sugar, no carbs, no fun. I can't just stop eating, so finding the sweet spot (no pun intended) can be difficult. So since last fall, I've lost some and gained, lost some and gained. I'm losing again at the moment and I'm determined to not let this shit beat me down.
Enough of that! Other topics:
Even three years out, I still struggle sometimes to remember that I've lost weight and people don't see me the way they did before the surgery. In some situations, my first reaction is to think about how humiliating an experience will be based on others' reaction to my presence. That's a very tough thing to overcome. Sometimes I wonder if I ever will.
Not too long ago I went to see singer/songwriter Levi Weaver at a so-called "house show". Literally, someone opens up their home to musicians and people come to feel the music. Levi is popular with some of my friends but I had never seen him perform live. Now, the thought of me going to someone's house and not knowing anyone at all in the room was more than a little terrifying. A bigger venue I can handle. It was the size of the "crowd" that got to me. What if there isn't room for me? I take up too much space, right? No one will talk to me. Who wants to talk to me?? Sometimes I feel like there's a voice in my head like the psycho mom in Carrie: "They're all gonna laugh at you!!" But I took a deep breath and remembered that I. Will. Be. Fine. I got great support from my friends and went. And it was awesome. Levi was wonderful, both offstage and on, and the whole thing made me wonder what I was so worried about. I discovered yet another thing that is no big deal. Just do it.
Erich and I celebrated our 11th anniversary at a dinner theatre/all-suite hotel in Mississauga called Stage West. Again, something I wouldn't have attempted before. I just would've felt very out of place in a setting like that. The seating would've freaked me out. Navigating my way through the tables would've been enough to keep me home. But it was a very nice time and we both loved the food, the play and the hotel. We got a great, GREAT deal so it's probably not something we would do again.
This time next week, I will have completed my second official 5K (I do them in the gym all the time but no one's counting those...LOL) when I go to London (Ontario...don't get too excited) and participate in the Father's Day Walk/Run for Prostate Cancer. Last fall, I did the CIBC Breast Cancer 5K in memory of my Aunt Betty and also to support all the other victims and caregivers of the disease. This time, I'm walking for my own father. My dad was only 49 when he was diagnosed and thanks to early detection, he is still with us today. I can't be with him next Sunday so this is my way of linking us together over the miles. I am fund-raising for this event - if you can, please click this link and give me, my dad, and all those touched by prostate cancer your support. I will do the breast cancer 5K again this year, but will not fund-raise for it. I figure one race a year is enough to bug people for money - and trust me, IT'S HARD to get people to donate to anything. Much harder than I expected! The rest of the year, I will do more 5Ks if I find them, but won't fund-raise.
I still can't run a 5K. My knees are pretty much bone on bone, so damaged from the arthritis that came about from my life of morbid obesity. But I wear braces on both knees and get on with it. And the other night, I ran more than I ever have and it was a pretty awesome feeling. I did a 5K at the gym yesterday and shaved about 10 minutes off the time I put up at the breast cancer race last October. So I feel good about that. I no longer wonder if I can finish; I just want my best time.
More stuff to get off my chest but that'll come later, maybe tomorrow. I don't want to write too long of a book here! I love you guys and thanks so much for all your kind wishes and support.
This journey never ends, it just changes. For me, I am dealing with a bit of regain and of course that needs to be stopped in its tracks. I've been struggling with it since last fall, when something happened that made the already overwhelming stress in my life just a bit more of a vivid stoplight red. I won't go into that but I definitely recognized the pathological, comfortable reaction for me was to medicate with my old frenemy food. The good thing is that I did recognize it and it hasn't gotten completely out of hand, but I feel like I need to start over a little bit. So I'm going back to 2009 in a few ways. I'm re-reading my faithful blue binder that the awesome team at Henry Ford Hospital gave to me. I'm looking within myself and remembering the reasons I did this and how it would feel to go back. NO going back. Ever. I'm even thinking of heading back to the pool. It helped me so much back then and was so much fun. I stopped going because I couldn't really afford a gym membership and pool time, but my gym membership is dirt cheap now so I'm going back into the water.
Complacency is an addict's worst enemy. So many of us get to goal and feel a fucked-up sense of entitlement, of "I'm thin now, so I can eat what I want." No, you can't. If the reformed drinker or smoker says that, the shit hits the fan. No different with me. Having said that, I have no desire to be a food Nazi. Life is more than 1200 calories a day, no sugar, no carbs, no fun. I can't just stop eating, so finding the sweet spot (no pun intended) can be difficult. So since last fall, I've lost some and gained, lost some and gained. I'm losing again at the moment and I'm determined to not let this shit beat me down.
Enough of that! Other topics:
Even three years out, I still struggle sometimes to remember that I've lost weight and people don't see me the way they did before the surgery. In some situations, my first reaction is to think about how humiliating an experience will be based on others' reaction to my presence. That's a very tough thing to overcome. Sometimes I wonder if I ever will.
Not too long ago I went to see singer/songwriter Levi Weaver at a so-called "house show". Literally, someone opens up their home to musicians and people come to feel the music. Levi is popular with some of my friends but I had never seen him perform live. Now, the thought of me going to someone's house and not knowing anyone at all in the room was more than a little terrifying. A bigger venue I can handle. It was the size of the "crowd" that got to me. What if there isn't room for me? I take up too much space, right? No one will talk to me. Who wants to talk to me?? Sometimes I feel like there's a voice in my head like the psycho mom in Carrie: "They're all gonna laugh at you!!" But I took a deep breath and remembered that I. Will. Be. Fine. I got great support from my friends and went. And it was awesome. Levi was wonderful, both offstage and on, and the whole thing made me wonder what I was so worried about. I discovered yet another thing that is no big deal. Just do it.
Erich and I celebrated our 11th anniversary at a dinner theatre/all-suite hotel in Mississauga called Stage West. Again, something I wouldn't have attempted before. I just would've felt very out of place in a setting like that. The seating would've freaked me out. Navigating my way through the tables would've been enough to keep me home. But it was a very nice time and we both loved the food, the play and the hotel. We got a great, GREAT deal so it's probably not something we would do again.
This time next week, I will have completed my second official 5K (I do them in the gym all the time but no one's counting those...LOL) when I go to London (Ontario...don't get too excited) and participate in the Father's Day Walk/Run for Prostate Cancer. Last fall, I did the CIBC Breast Cancer 5K in memory of my Aunt Betty and also to support all the other victims and caregivers of the disease. This time, I'm walking for my own father. My dad was only 49 when he was diagnosed and thanks to early detection, he is still with us today. I can't be with him next Sunday so this is my way of linking us together over the miles. I am fund-raising for this event - if you can, please click this link and give me, my dad, and all those touched by prostate cancer your support. I will do the breast cancer 5K again this year, but will not fund-raise for it. I figure one race a year is enough to bug people for money - and trust me, IT'S HARD to get people to donate to anything. Much harder than I expected! The rest of the year, I will do more 5Ks if I find them, but won't fund-raise.
I still can't run a 5K. My knees are pretty much bone on bone, so damaged from the arthritis that came about from my life of morbid obesity. But I wear braces on both knees and get on with it. And the other night, I ran more than I ever have and it was a pretty awesome feeling. I did a 5K at the gym yesterday and shaved about 10 minutes off the time I put up at the breast cancer race last October. So I feel good about that. I no longer wonder if I can finish; I just want my best time.
More stuff to get off my chest but that'll come later, maybe tomorrow. I don't want to write too long of a book here! I love you guys and thanks so much for all your kind wishes and support.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Run for the Cure
I have decided to participate in this Sunday's CIBC Run for the Cure, which benefits the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation. There is a choice between a 1K and 5K run or walk; I have entered the 5K event.
I would love to say I'd run it, but my knees just won't let me do that, not for 5K...I can run then walk, run then walk, etc. That's what I do normally when I exercise. If I run too much I definitely feel it the next day...or next week. So I'll be walking. The last time Erich and I were in Ohio, we got knee braces for me (for about 80% less than we'd pay in Ontario) and I'll put them on just in case. But it's all good. I've walked a 5K many, many times in the gym. I'll finish.
For years I've sat on the sidelines, wanting to take part in something like this. My father's sister - Aunt Betty - lost her battle with breast cancer over a decade ago. I spent a lot of time with her growing up and her daughter Leesa is around my age; we were buddies as children.
Aunt Betty:
At almost 450 pounds, I was never fit enough to pay tribute to her in any physical way with a cancer walk, ride or run. But this year, I'm gonna do it. I'll do it in her memory but also for myself; a celebration of my own good health and a reminder to never take it for granted.
Terribly late in the game for fundraising, I initially thought about paying the $40 entry fee and not bothering. But then I thought HEY....I have a lot of friends out there! The goal to waive the entry fee is $150. Surely, I thought, I can get 15 of my friends to give me $10. So I went for it. And raised the $150 pretty much overnight. WOW! Well, I do have very cool friends!! So I upped the ante and raised my goal to $300. Almost there!
C'mon now, you know you wanna help me raise money for this wonderful cause! Everyone knows someone touched by this disease. Click HERE to donate to my fund. The festivities start on Sunday morning at 8:00 a.m. The walk itself starts at 10:15. Erich, bless his heart, will get up at what is for him the middle of the night, to cheer me on. I'll let you all know how it goes!
I would love to say I'd run it, but my knees just won't let me do that, not for 5K...I can run then walk, run then walk, etc. That's what I do normally when I exercise. If I run too much I definitely feel it the next day...or next week. So I'll be walking. The last time Erich and I were in Ohio, we got knee braces for me (for about 80% less than we'd pay in Ontario) and I'll put them on just in case. But it's all good. I've walked a 5K many, many times in the gym. I'll finish.
For years I've sat on the sidelines, wanting to take part in something like this. My father's sister - Aunt Betty - lost her battle with breast cancer over a decade ago. I spent a lot of time with her growing up and her daughter Leesa is around my age; we were buddies as children.
Aunt Betty:
At almost 450 pounds, I was never fit enough to pay tribute to her in any physical way with a cancer walk, ride or run. But this year, I'm gonna do it. I'll do it in her memory but also for myself; a celebration of my own good health and a reminder to never take it for granted.
Terribly late in the game for fundraising, I initially thought about paying the $40 entry fee and not bothering. But then I thought HEY....I have a lot of friends out there! The goal to waive the entry fee is $150. Surely, I thought, I can get 15 of my friends to give me $10. So I went for it. And raised the $150 pretty much overnight. WOW! Well, I do have very cool friends!! So I upped the ante and raised my goal to $300. Almost there!
C'mon now, you know you wanna help me raise money for this wonderful cause! Everyone knows someone touched by this disease. Click HERE to donate to my fund. The festivities start on Sunday morning at 8:00 a.m. The walk itself starts at 10:15. Erich, bless his heart, will get up at what is for him the middle of the night, to cheer me on. I'll let you all know how it goes!
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