I grew up in the '80s and when I was in junior high, the one thing in the world I coveted the most, except maybe David Breech, were Jordache jeans. Jordache, Calvin Klein...Nike tennis shoes. All things that I foolishly thought were out of reach simply because I couldn't fit into any of them. I didn't realize then that my dad probably wouldn't have given a rat's ass if I were a size zero - the pricetags would've prevented me from walking the halls in style.
Then there were the bandana belts. Oh, they were all the rage in Piketon, Ohio. You didn't go to the Dogwood Festival in 1983 without your RED bandana slithering through your belt loops and a pink feathered roach clip in your hair. I remember at first I couldn't figure it out...could girls be so small that a bandana actually FIT around their waists?? I folded one into a band and looked at it. Good lord. That wouldn't go even halfway around my waist! I considered being a trendsetter and wearing it around my Kmart-jeaned thigh like some of the boys did but decided not to risk the 'dyke!!' chants. What would David think?? (Like he gave a crap.) Hm. What to do? Well, I took out a needle and sewed two together. DING!
The funny thing is, I bet a lot of kids wondered how in the hell I got that thing around my waist! LOL!
What we will do to fit in, huh? I never got the designer jeans but I did manage Nike tennis shoes when I was in my late-20s when they were no longer trendy. Ironically, I hated the things and never wore them. I ended up giving them to my stepdaughter when she was in junior high - they still looked brand new. But she wanted Skechers. Ah well.
As I go through this whole process, I've been thinking a lot about that young girl who sewed bandanas together. She was pretty hard on herself. She had loads of friends, a great family and she was smart, funny, creative, loyal and kind. The boys didn't pay her much attention but that would come in time (damn David Breech anyway....).
Vanity causes us to forget what's inside sometimes. Especially when we're young and even as adults, too. Even myself, now - I try to stop focusing on the butterfly I long to become and concentrate on not forgetting the true beauty of the caterpillar I still am. Hopefully, with age comes perspective. It's a learning curve.
Is anyone watching that new dating show 'More to Love'? http://www.fox.com/moretolove/ I started watching it because I thought YEAH! It's about time there's a show about people who are not a size 0 finding love (or even lust). Because I'm here to tell you, there are MANY men out there who love big girls. After my divorce, I found a few of them. The man I married isn't one, but that makes it even better - he loves me for me and I know that. But I do understand the new thrill of being with a man who truly believes you are beautiful.
However....the bachelorettes on this show are disappointing. They seem soooo desperate, to the point of being slightly annoying. In a different way than regular dating shows. Anyone watching this show would think it was the normal experience for someone of size to be nearly 30 and never been kissed; that sort of thing that is so stereotypical but hasn't been my life at all. As a teenager, I went on dates; I went to my prom (3 of them actually); and I had boyfriends. Not a lot, but I did have a social life. It's irritating to see this show portray fat women as lepers. The bachelor, Luke, is also overweight but of course he is the prize here. He seems like a nice guy (and he really is CUTE!) but I dunno. Too much desperation coming from those chicks because of their appearance. Some of these girls think they are disgusting and I find that very sad. I'll have to see how the season goes.
My point here - and I do have one - is we totally focus on the outward way too much. No news there. I think it's very important for me to remember that I never have been 'disgusting' and neither is anyone else my size. What I have to say is far more important than how long my eyelashes are - so says Alanis Morrisette. And she's right. The numbers game - the ones on the scale, on the size tag - can be dangerous and damaging. I'm going to try and find the balance and I urge all of you to as well.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Cindy, I never thought you were doing this for the vain side anyway. I always knew it was for your health. You know we all love you for you. But you do speak a very important message here.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Cindy. That makes me feel way better during a week where I have lost all control over the scale.... Hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteGenCi
This is such a timely post for me as my weight loss has stalled for 4 weeks now (grrrrr!) and I have been down on myself about it even though so many positive things have already come from the success I've had.
ReplyDeleteYesterday I was watching a documentary on women who hated their small breasts. (BBC) One girl was so beautiful - she must have been a size 2 and she had perfectly nice breasts for her size, but she didn't see it that way. She hated them so much that she rarely went out, and when she did, she folded her arms across her chest as she walked, thinking that people were laughing at her. It seemed completely insane to me as she was so gorgeous!
There were several other lovely young women putting themslves through all kinds of tortures and herbal regimens to try and change their boobs and yet they were all so pretty just as they were.
It was a real eye-opener to me. The things we women do to ourselves.
Doreen - Aw, I know you all love me and realize I'm doing this for the right reasons. But vanity is human nature and I really try to not focus on it TOO much.
ReplyDeleteGenCi - You're welcome, sweetie!
Lulu - I have always had these huge knockers and am actually jealous sometimes of girls who have small, perky ones! LOL! We all want what we don't have I guess. Seriously, the things we do to ourselves; you're so right. And keep on keepin' on! Success isn't always measured by the scale.