Friday, September 11, 2009

Little victories

I am sitting here writing this wrapped up in a towel from my morning shower. Why in the world am I troubling you with such a visual? Well, I've never been able to get a towel around me in my life that I can remember. I don't think I've even tried to wrap a towel around my body since maybe elementary school. LOL! I'm gonna sit in it for a while, just because.

Down 7 lbs. this week! 322 and counting down. 122 total lost.

Busy week at work! Since we're down one person in my dept., I have to pick up a lot of the slack. In a way it's ok because it makes the day go faster.

Once a month, the people in my dept. are responsible for cleaning the plate machine - we send images from our computers, this machine generates a plate which is then put on a press and printed. We do this on a rotating schedule and Wednesday it was my turn at bat along with my co-worker Rafal. I have always hated, hated cleaning that damn thing. It has to be taken apart and it takes a while to do. It has always been physically taxing for me to stand over a sink washing components of the machine. My back is in such awful shape that I don't even do dishes at my home; I've had a dishwasher for more than a decade after I started having to sit on a chair to wash them.

In the past, I would bring an old shirt with me (since the apron doesn't fit) and a little washcloth to wipe my brow as I worked. Sweat would pour off me and my back would ache all day long afterwards. I would have to stop several times and stretch backwards, trying to ease the pain. It was really tough.

So Wednesday, I slipped the shirt on, put the washcloth in my pocket and went to the back to clean the thing. It was unusually dirty and I was back there at the sink for at least 30 mins. I was about 25 mins. into the job when I noticed that: 1) I was not in any pain at all 2) I hadn't even broken a sweat and 3) I forgot I even had the washcloth in my pocket. I forgot I had the damn washcloth.

I was telling Erich about this last night over the phone and started to cry. I surprised myself with the emotion. I apologized to him and he said it was ok and that he was proud of me. It's those little things that I notice and realize that maybe, just maybe, I'm turning into a normal person. Things that "normal" people take for granted (like wrapping a towel around themselves), I'm going to record. It goes in my brain and in this blog so years from now, I can read about it and smile again - and never forget what it was like to be so morbidly obese in the hopes that I can prevent myself from becoming that way ever again. I strive to celebrate each tiny milestone.

6 comments:

  1. Cindy - this is wonderful. I am very proud of you and look forward to seeing you on the 27th.

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  2. Wow you've lost the equivalent to one whole person! Oh but the confidence you are gaining is wonderful to hear about. I know what you mean about the towel deal...those huge bath sheets are the only ones I can get around me. Oh and those hotel towels...no way, they don't fit around me. No back aching while standing...amazing! because mine aches like crazy just even from a short period of time.
    So proud of you and love reading your blogs...see you later this month.

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  3. Cindy, I love your posts about your new discoveries...and I know what you mean about finding yourself able to do things you couldn't before or without such a struggle! I have only lost 40 pounds, but it's showing and today one of our staff saw me coming down the hall and said "I didn't recognize you - you're HOT!!" I laughed out loud...what a gift these things are to our spirits! Your spirit is so beautiful and I celebrate each of your successes with you!!

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  4. Think of it this way......each tiny milstone is like a cupcake for your soul.
    ;-)
    Pam

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  5. "It's those little things that I notice and realize that maybe, just maybe, I'm turning into a normal person."

    We're talking weight loss here....I don't think we'll ever have to worry about being "normal" ;-d.
    (Love ya just the way you are!!)
    ML
    BILL

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  6. Hi, Cindy!

    I have been away for a while traveling, but this is GREAT NEWS! CONGRATS on all those victories. Wishing you best of health and tons of energy always. :)

    GenCi

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