The 'normal trip' - part three

After having some dinner at the Mexican place, we all decided to go to the Opryland Hotel to see their Christmas lights display. Even as we approached it from the highway, we could see we were in for a real treat! It was gorgeous. We were told later on that there are two million lights - workers begin putting them out in July or August. It was a wonderful nightcap to the day's, and weekend's, festivities. Everyone was already so happy to be together and this was just the icing on the cake. It's a special time of the year to be with good friends!

(Click all thumbnails to enlarge):






While we were looking at the nativity scene and snapping pictures, a young man approached me and asked me to take a photo of him and his wife (or girlfriend, whatever). I obliged. Laura said "Look at you, all approachable!" LOL! I have found that to be true. Strangers smile at me more now and say hello. I'm not sure if it's because I'm different externally, that is, more 'pleasing to the eye' or something like that, or if it's something that's changed internally and makes me seem more congenial. It's probably a combination of both.

A lot of people have told me they've never seen me smile so much. That I seem so happy and confident. Even my mother said this to me recently. I responded "Really? So many people say that. I don't think I was that unhappy before - it's not like I never smiled." But she said it's different now. I guess I buy that....again, my brain hasn't caught up with everything that's happened to me yet. I think I've changed, unconsciously, in ways I can't grasp yet but that is perhaps visible on my face and in my eyes. If so, that's cool.

I was by myself at Opryland at one point, taking photos right in front of the hotel, and a guy walking past stopped, smiled at me and asked "You want me to take your picture?" Well, knock me over with a feather. WHAT?? I'm so not used to shit like this. I told him 'sure' and handed him my camera. "Ohhh, that's nice," he said and got this shot. It's a little dark & blurry, but that's ok.



The inside of the hotel was decorated beautifully as well, and we walked all over the place exploring. I can't explain to you how freeing it is to be able to walk. That's all. Just walk. The mobility is amazing to me and is the biggest change I can think of after all of this, even more so than anything externally. I just walked and walked, taking photo after photo.









I thought Bill and Paris were in front of me at one point but they were not. Next thing I know, I hear "CINNNNDDYYYYY!!!!" It's them, yelling and waving at me from halfway across the botanical garden skywalk. I went back over to them and Bill said "We can't keep up with YOU now!" LOL! I honestly thought they were in front of me and I was just going to keep walking all the way around the skywalk. Without even thinking about it.

We'd bought some tickets to take a horse and carriage ride earlier and it was time to head back outside before the ride closed. Paris first mentioned wanting to go on them and I said "Yeah, I want to, too!" I knew this was something I never would've attempted a year ago and would be another 'hey-I-can-do-this' moment for me. How fun to experience it with some of my best friends! A year ago, I would've felt too sorry for the horse; I never would've been able to get up into the carriage; and the seats would've been too small for anyone to sit beside me. I was still hesitant of the seat size, since they wanted 4 of us in the carriage at once, 2 on each side.

"Oh...those seats are small," I said. My friends assured me it would be fine, and it was. Nancy climbed in first and when I sat beside her, we had plenty of room. I felt so good and so NORMAL sitting in that carriage. I never, ever would've done that a year ago. As I said in my last blog, I've always tried to never put myself in situations where I'd become embarrassed, so I just would've made some excuse like 'I don't like horses' or 'I need to make a phone call'. Something to get me out of it. I loved it and would've went on another ride if there had been time!

Nancy and me in the carriage:


As the evening drew to a close, we met up with some more good friends and wandered around outside a little longer, admiring the lights. The end of the weekend was approaching and it was a bittersweet time.

I slept pretty well that night but woke up very early. I decided to go downstairs and try to print out my boarding pass. I ran into a few other fan club members on their way home. We exchanged hugs and it was a reminder that yeah, things were coming to a close.

Later on, we all met some friends at a Cracker Barrel near the airport. There were about a dozen of us and we clearly didn't want this trip to end; we stood outside for a good half hour taking pictures, hugging and crying as we all said goodbye to one another.



As I was on the plane coming home that evening, I reflected on everything this trip meant to me. It was wonderful to see old friends and meet some new ones; to hear and see Bo again; and to find myself, to find my life. I've had a hell of a year and I can't think of a more perfect way to celebrate my life. I always treasured my trips before but now they will be extra special because I know what I was missing before: The effortless joy that comes with life. As The Man himself says - "Life should be a journey for your heart." Well, now I feel like mine is, finally. I feel more at peace than I ever have and I owe it all to Bo, my friends and ME. I'm the one who chose this journey and I think I'm most grateful to ME! I have arrived at a very good place. My own heart.