Follow Your Dreams

It is sometimes wiser to follow the dreams of your heart than the logic of your mind. - Liesl Vasquez

This is a quote in a little book my good friend Jacci gave me last weekend. The book is called "Follow Your Dreams" and is chock full of inspiration. The line above gave me particular pause for its succinct and dead-on delivery of what I feel like I've been doing this past year. For most of my life, the 'logic of my mind' has told me I can't lose this weight, I can't move, I can't do this or that, on and on. I grew to accept that I wouldn't ever be able to do the things a 'normal' person can. I had it so entrenched in my psyche that I sometimes still forget what my new body will allow me to do. My brain has not caught up with my body and that will certainly take some time, I understand that.

The most faraway dream of my heart has always been to be at a healthy, normal weight. I am someone who hit 200 lbs. in 6th grade; I don't have any real experience being at a normal body size. As I got bigger and bigger, that dream just seemed that much more impossible to achieve. Losing 50 pounds seems do-able; 244 just makes you want to go have another brownie.

It took a lot for me to finally make the wise decision to have this surgery and save my own life. Wise for ME, anyway. Everyone has to make their own choices about this sort of thing and I know surgery was the right one for me. But I will advise anyone who asks me, anyone who's reading this now: Don't let anyone talk you into or out of anything. Do the research, weigh (pardon the pun) the pros and cons with regard to how it will relate to YOUR life, and make the decision on your own. It's not the easy way out and there are risks involved here.

But following the dreams of our hearts, despite what our logical mind tells us is unreachable, makes sense when you realize that most great accomplishments begin with someone laughing to themselves, saying 'There's no way. It can't be done.' Ah, but it CAN. It happens every day. Logic has no place in dreams. I'm going to try and remember that.

I went to Nashville last weekend to be with some wonderful friends and my 'imaginary rock star boyfriend' as a lot of us refer to Bo Bice. ;-) It was a huge, thrilling adventure from the moment I stepped on that tiny plane and managed to wedge myself into one seat - armrests and tray down, thank you very much (still needed the seat belt extender though; my stomach will be there till some fabulous surgeon removes it one day). There is a lot to say about the trip. A whole lot of firsts and 'a-ha!' moments that brought me to tears more than once as I realized that I have my life now. I really have my life. I am still getting settled after coming home but I intend to write a helluva blog this weekend! It's been too long since my last entry. I have been very busy with holiday & Nashville-trip preparations.

And I finally got that updated pic with Bo (click to enlarge):

I stepped on the scale today worrying that I'd gained weight on my trip to find that I have lost 6 lbs. since Friday. I'm not sure why! I did do quite a bit of walking, but not too terribly much. But I'll take it. Current weight: 279. Total lost: 165.