Shouldn't I have two of these?

I didn't really sleep too well in the couple of days preceding my trip back to Detroit for the Centurion Club ceremony and my one-year checkup. The speech had me pretty nervous. I didn't have any idea what to expect, I suppose. I was picturing a similar set-up to the seminar Erich and I attended before my surgery: Small room with about 25 people. Um, I was not correct.

Weighing myself Tuesday morning, that damn number staring back at me was like a slap in the face. Gained three pounds? Whaaaa? Seriously? I'd never gained more than one pound - one time - since my surgery. And I would be expected to give my present weight at the door when I went into the ceremony. Hm. Well that sucks. But I could still claim 50% of my total body weight gone, which still sounded good.

When we got to the residency on campus and checked in, I changed clothes and went over my speech. As I mentioned in my last blog, I wrote out what I wanted to say. I didn't want to take it up to the podium with me though. Past experience has taught me that I would simply either read it word for word or look back and forth from the paper to the audience enough times to get whiplash.

The first person on staff I saw was Wanda. As they said when they introduced her, she's kinda like Cher or Madonna in that she needs only one name. She is the patient coordinator for the program and helps Canadian patients in particular with all the government red tape we have to navigate to get approved for the surgery outside the country. She once faxed me 36 pages of documents to my office in Ontario to read and fill out. And she went the other way, too; I was in her office in Detroit post-op when she filled out and faxed off to Ontario the forms required by my Canadian insurance company so I could get the paid extended medical leave I needed. I didn't have to do it; she did it all for me. Her job is to get people in there so their lives can be saved. Her no-nonsense, sarcastic personality immediately resonated with me. I feel like she, along with Dr. Genaw, is a big part of my success story.

She didn't recognize me at first. I had to show her my before picture. "NOW I know you!" she yelled. "OH MY GOD!!" Then she gave me a big hug and said "Did you ever think? I mean, really. Did you ever think?" No, I told her. I don't think I did. Here's me outside the ceremony room and with Wanda. As always, click to enlarge:



We walked into a quite large room and by the time it filled up, there were at least 150 people there. Gulp. The stories were beyond inspiring and the things everyone was saying...well, it's like you're home. You're with people who 'get it'. Most everyone was near their goal. You wouldn't be able to tell the person next to you had lost 110 pounds because he or she looked completely normal.

This was a big deal to me. I won't ever look at a 'normal' person the same way, with the same judgment. Or that is, always automatically assuming they are judging ME and have no idea what I went through, what I put up with on a daily basis. I always had it in my head that most thin people looked at me and were disgusted. It made me put up defensive barriers with people right away. I know - that's awful, but it's true. But you never know the story people carry with them. I understand that now. Just as I didn't like it when people judged my book by its cover, I won't ever do the same to others again (in reverse).

On the other hand, I could also pick out a lot of the patients. So many of us, especially the women, had that same sagging neck and pear-shaped body that I know all too well comes from excess skin around the stomach. I truly believe it's a damn shame insurance companies don't pay to have this taken care of. It's part of aftercare and essential to the patient's emotional well-being, in my opinion. They pay for the surgery; they should pay to finish the job. I hear story after story of OHIP (the Ontario Health Insurance Plan) paying for some procedures and not paying for others. Then you hear of 2-year waiting lists. Then you hear NO, they pay for nothing. Or they pay for nothing unless you've lost 300 pounds. Then the next day you'll hear about someone who had a tummy tuck and boob job, all on the government's dime. I don't really know what to believe anymore.

Erich and I sat, enthralled, for a good hour till the speaker stumbled over a name. "Forgive me if I mispronounce your names..." she began. I started to get up. DING!! I knew it was me. "Cynthia...." she said. I said "Schiketantz" and started walking to the podium. We always know when people pause or something that they're attempting to say our name and it's our turn!

Then she said something different that she only said when I approached the podium. "Cynthia, we have you down for 151 pounds but is that right?" I stopped walking and said "Well, if you're counting from just the surgery date, that's about right." Then she asked me what my weight loss really was. "All together 222 pounds," I said and everyone burst into loud applause. I still don't know why she asked me for a corrected number. They didn't do that for anyone else. In fact, others were correcting it themselves when they'd speak. They really should include the pre-op number; it's all part of our journey.

My 151 number was one of the biggest of the night (only a few men had lost that much) but I didn't hear anyone saying they'd lost anything near 222 pounds. Believe me, I paid attention. LOL! If that sounds like bragging then ok. I'm bragging. I worked my ass off for those numbers and I'm proud of them.

I got up there and tried to implement a trick my English professor in college told me: Look over people's heads. If you get nervous looking at their faces, look just over their heads. It will look like you're making eye contact but you're not. That worked. I didn't hyperventilate or anything.

I started off my saying that when I arrived at Henry Ford, I weighed 444 pounds and was about to turn 40. I talked about how I was taking a fistful of pills every day, had severe degenerative arthritis in both knees, diabetes, high blood pressure, wearing the Darth Vader mask every night (Dr. Genaw loved the 'Darth Vader' comment - he even mentioned it to me the next day) and how I didn't think this could be 40. I was too young to be so disabled and sick.

I talked about my changed life. Ziplining, canoeing, running. How I'd lost 50% of my body weight and my husband bought me a Camaro! *cue wild applause and woots* I was interrupted a few times with either applause or laughter. I wanted to be funny because it makes me less nervous. LOL! I looked back to Erich a couple times and he was cracking up so I knew I was successful. I thanked my supportive friends and family, Erich in particular. I thanked Dr. Genaw for helping me to save my life. This is an important distinction, I believe. So many people thanked their surgeon for 'saving my life'. Dr. Genaw didn't save my life; he provided me with the tool so I could take matters into my own hands. That's how I see it. He helped me and I'm forever grateful to him. But he didn't do it alone - most of this was allll me. I feel it's important for patients to own their power. YOU did this. Bask in the glory.

I forgot a few things I wanted to talk about, including this blog. Can you believe I forgot to talk about the one thing I think has helped me more than anything? Yep, I did. I also wanted to show my heart tattoo and forgot that. Ah well. I'm just happy I didn't pass out or anything. And I didn't cry! I was sure I would but I held it together.

After the speech, I walked over to Dr. Genaw, who pinned the Centurion pin on my shirt. He whispered "Man...a car and everything huh? You've done so well. Fantastic. Congratulations." Then we posed for a picture. I look like I'm cracking up and I think it must've been because he pulled me to him so tightly. I've talked before about his bone-crushing handshake and it was the same way when he pulled me to him for this picture. I thought it was funny, I guess!



The other speakers were so inspiring. A lot said very little beyond 'thank you' but some were wonderful. One man in particular brought the house down. They hand you a rose when your name is called. He took it, strolled to the podium and said "I feel like I'm on The Bachelorette...hell yes, I'll accept this rose." LMAO!

There was a lot of laughter, tears and head-nodding going on all evening. We all understand each other. It was a very powerful night.



And shouldn't I get two pins since I've lost over 200 pounds? I'm just sayin'. :))

Erich and I hung around afterwards and talked to a few other patients. I saw one of my FB friends but lost track of her in the crowd after the ceremony was over! Sorry Joanna! We've since connected and she said the same thing; she wanted to come over to me but lost me afterwards. There were a lot of people milling around.

The photographer took a group picture and I can't wait to get a copy of that. My people! Awesome.

Some of the Canadian patients were discussing how OHIP is now denying coverage for the surgery in the States since more doctors are performing it here. My own family doctor has tried to send two people to Henry Ford since me and both were denied. I got in just under the wire, dude. It's a good thing that the surgery is being done more in Ontario now but I'm already hearing the wait lists are getting longer and longer. Some of us and Wanda were discussing the wildly different approach to patient care in Ontario versus Henry Ford. Wanda wisely said very little. I joked "Look at her, she's over there deep breathing." LOL!

This is me with my before picture I took to Detroit:

Erich and I went out to eat then back to our room and fell asleep quickly. I was completely exhausted. Emotionally and physically. I'd lived through that speech and felt a weight come off my shoulders. I didn't realize at the time the weight would be literal. More about that and my visit with Dr. Genaw in my next blog!

Zipping through life

I should be speech-writing, packing, doing a number of other things but blogging. But whatever. I'll sleep when I'm dead (as the song says).

On Saturday, I put another check mark on the list of things to do in the Summer of Cindy. Ziplining.

I should start by saying I have a terrible fear of heights. The other phobia that would prevent a sane person from doing this is my fear of breaking things. I've always been very careful not to test things that might not bear my weight. I still have that going on in my head to a great extent, needing to remind myself of my 225-pound weight loss.

Erich, my brother-in-law Robert and I headed to the local ski hill, Chicopee, to get this thing done. I went online to find out information about the zipline and discovered there was a 275-pound weight limit. Definitely something I wouldn't have been able to do pre-op.

When we got there, they strapped us in our harnesses right away and off we went to the top of the hill. There are people movers, like you find in airports, for a lot of the trip but it's still a fair hike, especially at the very top when you have to climb several flights of stairs. I was breathing a bit hard but not overwhelmed or anything. I recovered in a few seconds. I consider myself to be in pretty good shape at this point.

They position you in front of two gates. Two people can go down the hill at once. Erich videotaped while Rob and I went first. I have to tell you I was ok till I got up there and looked down over the valley. Whoa. Then the guy opened the gate for me. There are four steps that lead to nowhere. Literally.

I had to laugh. I mean...there was nothing else to do! What the hell was I doing?? It was just funny to me that I was even considering doing this. The guy told us it was sometimes better if you sit down on the next to last step and scoot off rather than just jump into nothingness. So Rob and I elected to sit. Rob has height issues, too, so he was conquering a phobia himself. We sat down and Rob started counting "Ok, Cindy! Here we go! One...two..."

I yelled "WAIT! NO NO WAIT!" LMAO! Not quite ready. We sat there a few more seconds and Rob just pushed off. So I followed him. I hurt my throat screaming on the way down. I'm just saying. That feeling of 'Ok, I'm jumping off a cliff and trusting this wire to keep me from hurling towards the earth to certain severe injury if not death.' Again, I have major issues with worrying about things bearing my weight.

At the bottom of the hill is a huge spring that stops you. OMG, that is a shock! If you're little it's probably not so bad but man, I crashed into that thing full boar and it took my breath away.

Erich has no height issues or weight-bearing fears so he just jumped full speed ahead. On our second jump, I videotaped him and you can hear him screaming "YEEE-HAAA!!!" He had a blast.

Here we are. Watch it and have a laugh. When I'm videotaping Erich, there were three teenage girls in line behind me and they were starting to freak out a bit. It's them you hear chattering when he's getting ready to jump.



My second jump was much less traumatic and I was able to enjoy it more. Talk about a feeling of weightlessness! It was pretty cool. I would definitely do it again!

Tomorrow Erich and I travel to Detroit for my induction into the Centurion Club, where I'll have to give a short speech. We're supposed to say a few words about how the surgery has changed our lives and talk about how we plan to keep the weight off. I dreamed about my speech the other night so I woke up and wrote it out in about 10 minutes. I'll tweak it tonight and we'll see how it goes! Wish me luck! Public speaking is right up there in my top five nightmare-inducing things to do. So if I pull this off without making a total idiot of myself, that'll be another thing to check off the list that I didn't think I could do pre-op. Then on Wednesday I have my one-year check-up with Dr. Genaw.

The past year has just been incredible. I'm not finished yet. :)

The Year of Living...

Exactly one year ago tonight, to the hour, I was sitting in my 'hotel' room on the Detroit campus of Henry Ford hospital, trying to record my feelings on videotape. I was scheduled for gastric bypass surgery the next morning.

Erich had gone out for dinner. He didn't want to eat in front of me since I had been on a liquids-only diet for the past week. I set up our camera on the dinette table in front of me and started talking. Note that this is a preview of my terror of public speaking. *and there's no one else in the room with me*



When I blogged about that day, I told everyone that I had made the video but said it felt too personal to share. It still does in a way. I say I'm not nervous but I clearly am; probably more of talking on camera than the surgery, though! My mind was racing. I remember that. I got my starting weight wrong! And I almost started to cry at the end but kept it together.

I was totally ready to change my life. At that moment, I had every hope that by the next morning, I would be well on my way to wellness. To happiness and health. And it worked!

By this time - July 2010 - I had expected to be at my goal weight. I'm not quite there but 25 pounds will come off by fall (I hope) and I will strive to continue this lifestyle forever. It's like any addiction. I'm never cured but remain in recovery. One meal at a time. One forkful at a time if necessary.

Just to recap:
Starting weight - 444
Present weight - 219
Goal weight - 194

My way of doing that is to follow one basic rule: All things in moderation. I'm not about to become a health food nut or an exercise junkie. I have other, more important things to do - like lie in bed on Sundays with my husband, attend concerts, watch scary movies, WRITE, and so on. I intend to have fun. If that means an occasional slice of pizza or skipping a workout here and there then so be it. I have to find a way to balance the things I love with my desire for health. I firmly believe one goes hand in hand with the other. And I believe we really can have it all so long as we understand we can't have it all at ONCE. The 80/20 rule is important. You can be (slightly) bad 20% of the time as long as you're good the other 80.

I complain sometimes about not being able to eat a Kit Kat Chunky, my sagging skin or whatever but my god. I would do July 7, 2009 over in a fucking heartbeat. I consider that my rebirth - another birthday of sorts. I was very lucky in that I had no serious complications beyond nausea and slight depression and I'm terribly grateful for that. So maybe it's easier for me to tout the rewards of gastric bypass than others not so fortunate as me. But when I think about what this weight loss has done for my life I can get a bit overwhelmed with emotion. It was worth every single thing I had to go through.

Many thanks go out to all of my family and friends for their unwavering support, even when I was being a whiny brat. I love you all so much! Starting this blog was the best idea I could've had because it's kept me in touch with all of you and has allowed me to vent and/or celebrate with a few keystrokes, thereby allowing me to get my emotions under control and gain renewed perspective. You have all helped me immeasurably with those endeavors. Again, thanks is not enough.

I've done things this past year that I have only dreamed about and I still have lots more to experience. This has been my year of living well. Of living out loud! Of living to celebrate and not merely existing in this world. For most of my life, I was living in black and white but now it's allll glorious Technicolor.

By and large, I think I have succeeded in meeting my goals. Here's to many more years of living.

Milestones, canoes and clothes!

Erich and I had made up our minds not to travel to upstate New York the weekend after CMA Fest for yet another Bo show. We told everyone we weren't going.

Well, a mere five days after arriving home from Nashville, we were on the road again. It turned out to be one of the best, if not the best, live show I've ever seen Bo do so I'm really glad we went. As I've said before, my recovery time is pretty much nil these days. I'm glad Erich is willing to indulge me in this Summer of Cindy I'm having!

My friend Paris snapped this picture of Erich and me before showtime (click to enlarge):


I was pretty stoked that the man remembered me. Yes, I'm 40. And?? ;-) I stood up the entire time and didn't feel a thing. That's a first for a Bo show. I was even up for a while before he came out and didn't need to be since I had a seat. Sweet. I'm pretty sure general admission shows, which I had totally ruled out pre-op, will be ok now. AND...I caught another pic! Dunno what's up with that. That's the third one in a row. I'm pretty sure he tossed it right to me, too. Heh.

This time I came home sick, though. And I'm still sick. I'm not sure if it's allergies or what. I know I used to get sick pretty much every time I went to see Bo. The lack of sleep and everything that goes with traveling always took its toll on my body. But I'm ok - I went through a phase of feeling badly but now the congestion is more annoying than anything else.

My cold/whatever plus unforeseen circumstances at work kept me from doing my 5K on June 23. That's ok. There will always be another race...on the weekend! I'll never sign up for another one during the week. I got up the next morning to an email telling me I could still pick up my t-shirt I ordered for race participants. Hell, I already paid for it so ok. I'll wear it around the house or to the gym or something.

I weighed myself that Wed. morning instead of waiting till Friday because at the time, I was still thinking I might attend the walk if I could get out of work in time. I thought it would be cool if I reached my 50% milestone on the same day as the 5K. And I did! I had lost 222 pounds; and my weight was 222 pounds. I'd officially lost half of myself. Excited, I posted the news on my Facebook page then came in to this when I got to the office:



My co-worker read my Facebook status and decided to do something special for me. Thank you, Tammy! You're a good friend and I appreciate your support. It's nice to come to work and get applause - literally. LOL!

And this week I'm down another three pounds - 219 present weight; 225 lost; 25 to go to goal. It doesn't seem possible that this long journey to LOSE the weight is winding down. Of course a new journey begins; the really difficult one, the one of maintenance.

I'm seeing more of a difference sooner these days. I just took two big garbage bags full of clothes to the Salvation Army yesterday. These are clothes that I have had for a year or less. There's just no hope for them. LOL! I'm not going to alter most things; it's just not worth the trouble. Thank goodness for thrift stores. It's time to start building another new wardrobe, with size 18 jeans, 10 shoes and XL to 1X shirts. Whoa. And I have reached single-digit sizes....in underwear! LMAO!! I swear to god my underwear is the funniest thing ever. The before and after, well, it's hysterical. That's all I'm gonna say about that (you're welcome).

I had a funny experience shopping before I left for Nashville. My friend Randi and I were trying on things and the pink empire-waisted shirt that I had fallen in love with was too big. It was a 1X. We went back out to try and find something smaller. Didya hear that? SMALLER. Well, 1X was the smallest they had. I had to laugh. I have spent my life not being able to wear the biggest sizes in even the plus-size stores and here I was, not able to find a size small enough. It's enough to make your head spin.

On Friday, Erich, my brother-in-law Robert and myself went canoeing on the Grand River here in town. Rob has done this lots of times but of course, a 444-lb. woman in a canoe is a skit on Saturday Night Live, not a reality. But I'm all about stretching my comfort level these days and jumping in head first to do things I never would've considered before.

I was seriously nervous because I still was holding onto that mentality that I couldn't do this. That I'd sink the canoe when I tried to get into it or people would laugh at the notion of ME in a canoe. I also wasn't prepared for the hoard of people also doing this trip. An audience wasn't cool. So I do what I do when I get uncomfortable - I get irritable, snippy. It's an impulse I'm still working on controlling. I do feel like I'm getting better at that but it's a work in progress. Comfort, in general, is a work in progress. I still have doubts about my abilities.

The lack of instruction from the company renting these canoes is pretty amazing. You are told NOTHING. At all. I guess they assume everyone knows what to do. I didn't. Luckily, Erich and Rob did. Getting in the canoe wasn't nearly as traumatic as I feared, and after we got going I was ok. I started to breathe and enjoy the scenery. I wasn't going to sink the boat or fall in. It was a gorgeous day and we had a good time. It's definitely something I would do again!





The Summer of Cindy is just getting started! July is going to be one busy month: A two-day trip to Detroit and my speech to the Centurion Club; Bon Jovi/Kid Rock concert in Toronto; ziplining at Chicopee Tube Park; another trip which will be discussed later - all this stuff and still August to go! I'm ready; bring it on.

New in Nashville, part 4

After Demo's, we all stopped in at the convention center to see who was in the booths signing autographs. Well...they were closing up. Oops! Ok, so then the four of us split up because I wanted to do some more sightseeing. We again made plans to meet at the Chevy Stage in a little bit, this time to take in the LoCash Cowboys concert.

Erich and I stopped by the Ryman Auditorium and headed back down Broadway. I don't know what it was, but I was much hotter today than yesterday. There seemed to be a lot more people milling around and the heat was starting to get to me a bit. Not to the point where I wanted to stop, but I felt it more today. Erich agreed that it seemed hotter as well.

The sidewalk was so crowded you could barely move. I'd wanted to go down a few more blocks and turn up a side street - on our shuttle ride to LP Field the previous evening, I'd seen some shops I wanted to go into. But man...by the time we got up there, we pretty much turned around and came back because it took us so long and I didn't want to miss LoCash.

We went into Hall of Fame park and got some freebies, sat down and people-watched for a little bit. I could hear music coming from the Chevy Stage so we decided to go on over and grab a seat. Wellll, the place was completely packed. Erich and I stood there watching an act called Trailer Choir. OMG...they were awesome. I guess they were discovered by Toby Keith but I'll try not to hold that against them. *ahem* Erich said "This doesn't even sound like country music." No, it sure didn't. The following video isn't from their performance I saw, but they did sing it - and it's another of those 'country rap songs':



"Rockin' country," I said to Erich and again, he nodded and smiled.

After Vinny & company got finished, we searched the dispersing crowd for Deb & Beth. We found Bill again, almost in the same spot he was in for Bo's show the previous day. I saw Deb in about the third row so I made my way up to her and sat down. Erich opted to stay back with Bill. The only bad thing was, our seats were right in the sun. Yes, I got sunburned a bit - with SPF 70 on. Beth had already moved over to stand in a more shaded area, but I stayed with Deb and we rocked out to LoCash! MAN ALIVE!! Now I see what all the fuss was about!



I think my favorite part of the show (which I stood up for the entire time) was the very end when they did their usual tribute to the troops by singing a cover of "You Gotta Fight For Your Right To Party" - the troops fight for everyone's right to party, after all. LOL! Deb and I were rockin' out, jumping up and down with the band and crowd, having a ball. GAC's Storme Warren joined them onstage.

After LoCash, Erich and I decided to head back to the hotel with Deb & Beth. We wanted to go to a grocery store near the hotel to look for Bret Michael's Diet Snapple he created on The Apprentice - Trop-A-Rocka! I wanted some and my co-worker had asked me to pick up a pack for him as well. Deb also put in an order when she found out what we were up to. We also had some sugar-free Hawaiian Punch packets to pick up for my girl Randi back home (such things are not found in Canada..LOL). Plus we knew we had a long drive ahead of us in the morning and we needed to take it easy tonight.

I'd seen and done pretty much everything I wanted to do. I was really happy.

We ended up finding the Trop-A-Rocka and the Hawaiian Punch really easily so SCORE! The car thing started at the gas station.

Erich had complained the previous evening about how dim my dash lights were. I told him I'd never noticed it before and we soon forgot about it. Tonight, as we left a gas bar after filling up for our long trip home the next day, he mentioned it again.

"This isn't right," he said. "Something's wrong....alternator...something..." We were very close to the hotel - thank goodness. By the time we neared the driveway, he'd turned off the a/c, the radio, the lights - everything he possibly could. "It's the alternator," he said and sighed. "I know it."

We chugged into the parking lot of the hotel and backed into a space as we were already considering how to make it easy on the tow truck. I called AAA and was told that due to CMA Fest and the Bonnaroo Music & Arts Festival, that our wait for a tow might be longer than usual. That was fine, I insisted. If someone was stranded alongside the highway in this heat then by all means go get them first! At least we were safe and cool in a hotel room. I was very grateful that we decided to go back out and had not been on the highway the next morning when this happened. Nothing could happen till the morning anyway; it was about 10 p.m. on a Sunday night.

It was pretty frustrating to have an unexpected car repair but hey. It's an alternator. No seeing that one coming! We got it fixed nearby the next morning and were able to check out and get on the road by noon.

My husband makes friends wherever he goes. He got to talking with the garage owner and it turns out the man's wife is from Kitchener, Ontario! What an amazing coincidence. Another employee of the garage had lived in Barrie, Ontario for five years. Erich stopped in at an Auto Zone after he got the car fixed to pick up a few things and some random guy in there was from Romania (as is Erich) but had lived in Nashville for years! LOL! A Romanian redneck! Erich and I joke that's what he will become when we move down to Ohio. What a small world.

It sure was an eventful and fun-filled trip. I keep talking about my gratitude for my life now. I can't say it enough; my entire life is so different and so much better it's almost surreal. If you've never merely existed, it is sometimes more difficult to appreciate living.

Go and live your life out loud, people. Don't wait - there are no excuses!

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

New in Nashville, part 3

As Erich and I waited for the show to start at LP Field, Bill came back to us to sit and chat for a bit. Bill is such a great friend and supporter. I don't know what I'd do without people like him in my life. Thank you for your kind words, big guy. Love you!

I have to admit that my knowledge of current country music is limited. I follow certain artists - Keith Urban, Taylor Swift, Rascal Flatts, Lady Antebellum, Trace Adkins - and yes, I do like some Carrie Underwood stuff as well. But I don't listen to country radio like I do rock radio; therefore, I didn't know much about the first few people up on stage that night. I was VERY pleasantly surprised by Randy Houser, the first act up on stage. WOW!! Loved, loved him. Not the best video, but this is the song that really caught my attention. I like "rockin' country" - that's how I tried to explain it to Erich - the difference between your grandpa's country and today's country.



The next two acts, Easton Corbin & Billy Currington, were good, too. The Zac Brown Band is completely awesome! But I was totally looking forward to Martina McBride and Rascal Flatts! I've always loved the two of them. Martina didn't disappoint. Man, she was incredible. Erich was totally impressed. I mentioned to him that she is called "The Voice" for a reason! Her performance of 'Broken Wing' completely brought the place to its feet and our reaction made her cry. She was so sweet and seemed really genuine.



Rascal Flatts! Dude! I love me some Rascal Flatts. I kept hoping they'd sing their song 'Bob that Head' because I freakin' love that song. I definitely 'bob my head' when I hear it. I categorize it as a "country rap song". Much like Garth Brooks' 'Ain't Goin' Down Till the Sun Comes Up'. Well....finally, last song, it starts up. I just let out a whoop and jumped up, singing and dancing along.

"Rockin' country!" I yelled to Erich and he smiled and nodded.

This video sucks, but it's all I could find. And if you've never heard the song, you can get a feel for it.



It was an AMAZING show and again, I am just so grateful I was there.

We walked over to the Limelight and had a seat waiting for the traffic to die down a bit - listening to some cover band blaring from inside - then caught a cab back to our hotel. Our driver was really great and knew just how to avoid the crazy traffic attempting to enter the freeway. Despite the crowds, his route to the hotel was the cheapest fare the whole weekend.

It was about 2 a.m. but we were starving so we got in the car and headed to a nearby Waffle House. It was packed with people who had the same yellow LP passes around their necks as we did. There were two empty chairs at the counter and everyone around us waiting for a table were like "If there's just two of you, go ahead and take them. Everyone else has more than two people." Awesome!

We also ate here the previous night. The waitress, with her VERY strong Southern accent, had asked Erich what "dreeesssing you wont for yer saaallad?" and he looked at her like she was speaking Swahili. I had to translate. English is Erich's, um, fifth or sixth language and Southern is a dialect he can't always interpret immediately. Tonight, I had to translate for our waitress. He ordered his hash browns a certain way (I can't remember now) but at Waffle House, there's actually a name for them. She looked at him blankly for a moment before I called the dish by its rightful name. Funny.

Falling into bed at 3 a.m. really super happy and tired in a good way was extremely gratifying. It's still something to me that I can do all this stuff and not be exhausted for five days straight. My recovery time is almost nil. I asked Erich if he had a good time today; it was a really busy day after all! We saw seven concerts along with a few stray singers and bands along the way, loads of shopping and laughing with good friends. He said yes right away, enthusiastically. I reminded him of "rockin' country" and he agreed. He liked the music. Most of it, anyway.

Earlier I asked him about Bo's Chevy Stage show and if he enjoyed the song "Get On & Ride". It's probably the most 'rock' sounding song on Bo's new CD and the one I thought he'd like the most. To my surprise, he said he liked "You Take Yourself With You" at the fan club party the best, which is VERY country! He said it had "meaning". Well. He always manages to surprise me.

We decided to skip Martina McBride's charity auction the next day. Bo was scheduled to appear but honestly...I was thinking what's he gonna do? Hold up an item, people will bid and that's it. I didn't know if I wanted to be up and downtown at 11 a.m. for that. Well, turned out he pretty much conducted the entire auction. Of course he did. FAIL for me. Pffft. Oh well. We were up and at 'em for the bull ride but it took FOREVER to find the damn place where it was being held! My god we were walking around downtown in a circle for about 30 minutes. Didn't even feel it. It's all good.

There were no seats when we finally did make it to the tent with the bull, but I decided to stand. And I did. Again with no problems.

Bo and a bull just don't mix, man. You could tell he didn't have a clue what he was doing. So he decided to do what he does best: Be cute. Be sweet. Be funny. Bo knows how to do that for sure. He stayed on for a full 3.2 seconds. I barely had time to snap a picture!



Afterwards, some of us stood around talking to him for a bit. He said "I got beat by a girl." LMAO! And he did! AGAIN! Another pretty blonde chick, too. I said "Yeah, but she beat her brother, too, so don't feel bad." He blamed that on sibling rivalry (they were the brother-sister singing duo The Roys). "Doesn't count!" he laughed. We backed off a bit so other fans could get their picture with him. I stood there for a while, just hanging out. In the past, I would've been parked on a seat and missed all this interaction.

I stood in line to get another picture. And once again, he greeted me with "Hi Cindy! How are you?" I love the way he says my name, with a slight Southern inflection on the 'in' part. *fangirly sigh* I told him I was fine, that I hated bugging him for another pic but we needed lots of updated pictures because all of ours were 200 pounds ago. He laughed and said...AGAIN..."yeah but you look great, though." If he keeps telling me that, I may sell everything I own and just follow him around like the Grateful Dead. I'm kidding. Really. Maybe.



Some of the girls were headed a couple blocks away to have lunch at Demo's, a well-known restaurant downtown. The 'couple blocks' part would've had me politely turning down invitations before but now I was ready to roll. So off we went with Deb & Jen. There were hills. No one told me that. LOL! No problem now but OMG, I would've been just so upset pre-op. Upset at MYSELF, that I couldn't keep up.

After we got to Demo's, we of course had to stand around and wait for a table. All of this is stuff that normal people don't even think about. But I really notice and celebrate how I can now join them in 'not thinking about it'.

It was great to sit and relax with a good meal and great conversation with friends. We ended up leaving with Deb and Beth, as Jen had to get back to her hotel. All of us were anxious to see the LoCash Cowboys at the Chevy Stage in a little while. LoCash are big with Bo fans (they shared a bill with him once and things took off from there) but neither Beth nor I had seen them live. As we made our way back over where we came from, I was walking along at one point and Erich said "Honey, you want to wait for the girls?" I had totally taken off and left Deb and Beth! OMG! I stopped and waited while they laughed at how they were having to keep up with me. It was one of those weird post-weight-loss moments.

I know I said this would be the final installment of the Nashville trip, but we're gonna have another one. Sorry! Hope you all can put up with my long-winded recap. LOL!

New in Nashville, part 2

So after the fan club party, we went over to the area of Nashville known as "The District". With plans made to meet up with our friends again for Bo's afternoon concert at the Chevy Stage outside the Bridgestone Arena, Erich and I took off to make like the tourists we were.

I've been to Nashville twice in the past and have had neither the time nor the energy to see much of the city except the routes to and from whichever venue I was heading to; and see whichever long-haired rock star happened to be headlining. So this time, I wanted to walk. I wanted to explore. We had a few hours before we knew we needed to get back to the Chevy Stage in order to get a good seat for Bo's show. Heading down Broadway towards 2nd Avenue, we just started winding in and out of the shops.

I might be kinda strange but I love tourist traps. Trap me. Go ahead. I know I'm being trapped and I don't really give a damn. I love looking at all the t-shirts, cheesy snow globes and whatever else some hole in the wall might offer to sell me. I had warned Erich beforehand: "I will probably go into every single shop." He told me to go ahead. And true to form, he just followed me around without a single complaint. He enjoyed himself, too. He likes the same things that I do, so we're good that way. But I know he was hot. Reaaallly hot. Me, I was fine but my husband was sorta melting. I stopped every now and then to reapply sunscreen but other than that, I was running full steam ahead.

My mother has been a country music fan my whole life and I thought about her a lot when I was in Nashville. She'd always talked about Fan Fair, which is what CMA Fest used to be called. I know she'd wanted to go when she was younger but to get my dad down there probably would've taken an act of Congress or something. I don't think she could take the heat and physical activity of it now, but I sure did wish she was there with me as we took in all the sites from the Ernest Tubb Record Shop to the Ryman Auditorium. As always, click to enlarge all pics:





Music has always been an important part of my life but even more so in the last five years, since Bo. I've learned a lot about the music business and I tell you, I have so much respect for musicians in general. When you walk down Broadway, you can literally hear dozens of bands and musicians - live music streaming out of every bar and restaurant along the way. Some, of course, are even playing ON the street. One kid in particular was blowing people away.



I felt really lucky to be able to walk around and soak in this atmosphere. Erich and I had a ball. We bought souvenirs - I got a pink Nashville t-shirt and a multi-colored rhinestone encrusted guitar necklace; Erich bought magnets. We stopped in at a burger joint and heard a honky-tonk cover band go from Alan Jackson to Lady Gaga in the span of 10 minutes. We got free Monster energy drinks, Dr. Pepper and McDonald's apple slices. And learned Bo really does have male fans! LOL! We still had our lanyards from the fan club party around our necks and as we walked past a table that was set up on the sidewalk, the guy manning the thing grabbed Erich and said "Bo Bice?? Where is he?? Is he playing somewhere??" Erich, like the good peep-in-training he is, said "Yeah! At the Chevy Stage up the street at 5:45." The guy asked if Bo would be doing autographs and I said "Yeah, he usually does. Just hang around after the show." And there you go.

I'm telling you I could've walked for hours. Well, I did. But I could've kept on going. Not tired. Not too hot. No pain. It's all good. The only time I got sweaty was when I got my picture taken with The Naked Cowboy. The man was dripping. Ew. But still...if the Naked Cowboy is in front of you, you stop. Right?



Let the record show two things: Number one, the hand-on-ass thing was HIS idea. And number two, my husband is a good sport. God love 'im.

We made our way back up to the Chevy Stage and looked for our friends but didn't see them anywhere. Of course, the place was lousy with peeps and we saw some up front (where else would they be?) so we stopped to talk to them. Well, there happened to be an empty seat right between two sweetie pies, Debbie & Sherry. Debbie offered me the chair and well, when someone offers me a front-row seat, I take it. Call me crazy. Again, my wonderful husband told me to have fun and went towards the middle of the crowd to sit with the aforementioned fantastic Mr. Bill.

The chairs made me uneasy. They were these flimsy folding things that I would never have even attempted to sit on pre-op. But I sat down gingerly and it was fine. Then I crossed my legs and the chair moved. I froze and widened my eyes. DOH! That was all I needed, to break a chair at this weight! LOL! Sherry & Debbie asked me if I was ok and I said yes, but the chair moved and made me flash back to a time when I would've been scared to death to sit in it. Sherry assured me "You don't have anything to worry about now." Then Bill came up and put my LP Field pass around my neck. I was totally ready to get my groove on.

Bo took the stage soon enough and again, the man is awesome. I got some great shots this time (much better lighting and my camera prefers natural light, to be honest). Bill had told us to head over to LP Field after the show, that we needed to get there early since it can be a hassle. We could get a free shuttle with our passes, though, so that was good. But then we noticed Bo was definitely coming out for pictures. Now, I need updated pictures. I want allll the pictures with Bo that I can get. So I told Erich, "I'm not leaving."

We stood there and waited as Bo made his way down the line, Patrick shouting at everyone to have their cameras ready. As he made his way to me, he smiled and said "Hi Cindy! You look great, you know that?" Again with the name and 'you look great' stuff. Geeze. I thanked him again and Erich took a quick snap. You can see Patrick behind us still bellowing "HAVE YOUR CAMERAS READY, PEOPLE!!" LOL! Patrick is ok, he really is a super guy. He just has to mind Bo because Bo, god love him, would stand there and talk to people till he was blue in the face if left to his own devices. We don't call him 'Ramblin' Bo' for nothing. And he does have a schedule to keep.









Erich and I made our way towards the shuttles and quickly got on for the air-conditioned ride across the river to LP Field. When we got to our seats, I couldn't believe it! WOW!! We were on the 'floor' in the 16th row. Amazing. I was so grateful. The tiny little chairs were tied together and for the first time, I actually fit into a single seat comfortably and wasn't worried about crowding anyone who might sit next to me.

I looked around the big stadium and was almost brought to tears by several things. The overwhelming generosity and support of my wonderful friends. The fact that I was even there, able-bodied and healthy, looking forward to the show and not thinking about how hot and tired I was, how my back and knees were killing me and all I wanted to do was get back to the hotel and lie down. This awesome man beside me who hates country music, doesn't really even like Bo Bice's music, was probably as hot as he'd ever been in his life but....loves ME enough to make me happy by driving 12 hours one way over a weekend with little sleep to bring me here so I could have joy and experiences I never thought I could have in my life just over a year ago.

Life is sweet.



Final part coming soon: Erich slowly converts to country (maybe) but still needs a translator; bull-riding Bo and LoCash Cowboys (yee-haw!); car trouble and Romanian rednecks...

New in Nashville, part one

I have been so busy, I can't believe it's been so long since I've blogged. So much has happened! Let's start with Nashville.

As I prepared to go to Nashville for the tail end of CMA Fest, I thought about what to take with me. Sunscreen, check. New clothes, check. Flip-flops, check. Tickets for Bo's fan club party, check. Camera, check.

Then I was struck by some of the things I knew I would've needed pre-op but not so much this time: Arthritis, high blood pressure and diabetes medication. Cane. C-pap mask. Portable fan (for the room and outside). Durable walking shoes (ugly or not). I would've needed all that and probably still would've only been able to go to the fan club party and back to the hotel. Seriously.

The 12-hour drive alone would've doomed my body in the past. That kind of thing killed my back; we would've had to stop several times so I could walk around, delaying our arrival. This time, I actually split the drive with Erich and had no problems other than a bit of stiffness. But I walked that off in a few seconds. I wasn't really tired when we arrived, either.

Our room was on the second floor. Evidently, there was an elevator but we weren't told about that so we hoofed it up and down the stairs the whole time. No problems. Hell, I even carried my own luggage up by myself. That's a switch!

The next morning, we went downtown for the party. The cab dropped us off a little ways from the Limelight - meaning, we had to walk a bit. I said to Erich 'I would've been done right about now.' That small walk would've had me hurting, panting, sweating. It's hard to describe the little things like that. It's just such a different life. Things so many people take for granted that I now celebrate. People kept complaining about the heat but honestly, I didn't think it was that hot. I was warm, but fine. What I'm sure would've been unbearably oppressive and debilitating to me before was barely noticed now.

We stood in line to get in and greeted lots of friends. I got a bit pink standing out in the sun for 10 minutes. Yep. Now you know why I needed the sunscreen. People still crack me up when they see me. It's all 'you look wonderful!!' I love hearing it, I admit. I've worked hard and went through a lot to get to this point so I'm grateful for the acknowledgement.

All of Bo's 'peeps' like to say that 'we had a family reunion and a concert broke out'. That's an apt description of what it's like to be in the Bo Bice family. I think, at this point, seeing each other is just as important as seeing Bo. But he brought us all together and we're forever grateful to him for that.

Sweet Bill surprised Erich and me with passes to LP Field, the downtown stadium with huge acts playing nightly. HOLY CRAP!! It was incredible of him and honestly, like him to be so generous. It never occurred to me that I would be able to go to LP Field while we were there. He said he 'wanted to do something nice' and the 'opportunity presented itself'. Thank you Bill. You gave me an experience I will never forget.

So things were getting off to a great start! LOL!

Now, our wristbands had the number '1' on them, but I figured with my luck the numbers would start in the back or something. Nope. We were right up front! We mingled with everyone, had a nice catered brunch then Bo took the stage. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Until you see him live, you don't understand. He's the consummate performer and fills up the whole arena - small or large - with his charisma and talent. It was great, as usual.

I got some merchandise at this show! I rarely buy anything because well, I can't wear it. But this time I got an XL shirt that fits me perfectly. Actually, it's a tad big in the waist but I'm built so oddly now that I think a perfect fit is going to be a pipedream from now on. LOL! I also bought Erich a ballcap plus I got a bandanna. Why? I dunno. It was there. And it'll be good to tie onto my bag for shows and stuff. Erich loves that cap. He wears it all the time!

At the meet and greet after the show, I hoped to have an opportunity to speak to Bo without making an idiot of myself. That's usually the way it goes, really. The last time I saw him, in December, I tried to explain to him what I think his role is in my weight loss but didn't get anything out but to tell him that being his fan changed my life and to thank him. I never really got to go into detail because I goober'ed out (that's a Bo phrase). So this time, I walked up to him with a purpose. I didn't even let that smile of his make me goober. Nope.

I gave him a gift that my friend Nancy and I got for him, let him sign my fan - the one with his face on it that the fabulous Sue had made for all of us - then I told him I had lost over 200 pounds in the past year or so. He said 'wow', took a step back and gave me a once-over. I went on to say "And YOU had a lot to do with that. I was to the point where I was hobbling to your shows with a cane. I wanted to see you and my friends, just be NORMAL, so much that I said 'screw this' and did something about it." I swear I thought the man was going to cry. His forehead wrinkled up and he gasped as I told him that. Then he pulled me into a hug. He said "Oh, you don't know what that means to me. That's so awesome. I'll be praying for you. That's incredible." As he released me, I said again "You had a lot to do with this. So thank you. Thank you." He shook his head and said "That's, wow, that's so great, Cindy. You look great. Wow." I thanked him and he said "Well, I'll be looking for you at my shows. You better come see me." Um, YA THINK?? LOL! I started to walk away and he squeezed my shoulder. "Thank you, Cindy. I'll see you soon."

He tells me I look great, calls me by my name (twice) then tells me he'll be looking for me at his shows. He knows how to put asses in the seats, huh? LMAO! I'm kidding, I know he was sincere. It was a sweet moment with him and I'm happy I got the opportunity to talk to him.

Snapshots from the party (click to enlarge):

Before the performance:


Bo's performance:





Meet & greet:


Next up: After the party: Walking the streets of The District, yet another Bo show, and an unfathomable night at LP Field. Coming soon, I promise!

Awakening in the Woods, part two

So I left off with the hike. It feels odd that I am writing about hiking. Or running. Or whatever it is that I'm doing these days.

As I said in my last installment, I've heard about Ravine Creek Trail ever since I've known Erich. Not that it's such a fantastic trail or anything, but he has been on it so many times that it pops up in stories he's told me of past adventures in camping. So I was a bit excited that I would be able to hike it with him this time.

After our trip into town and the climb up the lighthouse, we went back to camp and had lunch then took off for the trail. Generous amounts of bug spray were applied and since the beach is at the end of the trek, we took a beach bag with blanket, sunscreen, water, etc. Erich carried that, thank god. LOL!

There are steps at the entrance leading down into the woods. I stopped and said "It's at this point where I would've said 'yeah so why are we doing this again? we're not driving to the beach why?'" We both had a laugh then I took off down the steps (click all pics to enlarge).



Ravine Creek is just a few steps from the entrance and there's a wooden bridge to cross. Erich was in front of me and trotted over to the bridge. I got down the steps, came to a dead stop, looked around and just...lost it. I don't know what came over me. I started to speak and all I got out was "It's been so long..." before I bent at the waist and started to sob. Erich came back to comfort me. I swear, something just *POW* hit me like a ton of bricks. One second I was laughing and excited, then I felt like I was going to fall over from some sort of emotion that just overwhelmed me.

"Wow, I don't know where that came from," I said. And I didn't. It shook me up for a while. The more I think about it I guess it was just that I was there. I looked up and around all those trees and the creek and it took me back to my childhood exploring the woods on my family's property. I suppose in my subconscious mind, I never thought I'd see anything like that again because I'd never be able to physically get to a location such as that. Maybe the realization hit me that I can now do anything I want. I am free to do anything, go anywhere.

I never realized what I was missing out on when I was a prisoner in my own body. Over time I just accepted my limitations and pushed them out of my head. It would never occur to me to move. I mean...it just didn't, because I couldn't. And I got so used to believing - knowing - I couldn't that I never tried. I wasn't living my life. Now I'm going to live out loud, baby. Full speed ahead.

I brought the camera with me that day but was so messed up that I only took a few pictures further up the trail. We went back the next day so I could snap a few pictures of the scenes that caused me so much emotion. Not pain, but really a kind of relief and joy. I didn't realize it then but that's what it was. I wasn't hurting, I was having an out-of-heart experience on a level that's hard to explain.

Pictures from the scene of the awakening:



I decided after this trip that perhaps I need to go buy some shorts that fit. LOL! And no, I didn't hike with flip-flops on, this was the next day.

It was a pretty long hike over some hilly, rocky terrain. Not horrible, but my knees were kinda tapping on my shoulder after a while saying "Um, are we there yet?" I wasn't hot, tired or out of breath, but the knees were starting to cringe by the time we got to the beach. And the bugs! Lorda mercy. They feasted on me, that's for sure. I did apply bug spray but much like sunscreen, maybe it doesn't work too well for me!

We decided to walk on the road back to camp and man...I think all in all I did more walking that day than I've ever done in my life. But I felt good at the end of the night and was ready for bear the next morning. Even if I didn't get much sleep because the twenty-something guys camped next to us kept me awake with such lively conversations as 'who's the oldest chick you'd do it with?' 'what's the weirdest sexual position you've ever done'? and more lewd topics which I won't go into. Suffice it to say they sounded like they were right outside the tent and if I'd had children with me, I would've been throwing raccoons at them. The coons. Ah yes. Brave little suckers that crept around camp all weekend. They got my protein bars, the little asses!! *grumble*

It was a wonderful weekend that I'll remember forever. We decided we're going to try and go back before it gets cold. I told Erich I wasn't so sure about that trail because of the knee factor and he said "Yeah, but at least you can say you did it." He's right. I did it!

I've lost four pounds since I last reported my weight. I'm at 226. Four more and I will have officially gone from 444 to 222, losing 50% of my total body weight. Makes me feel like I'm on The Biggest Loser or something! LOL! That'll be a cool milestone when I hit it.

A side note: This is my 100th blog since I began it in February of 2009. I owe each and every one of my readers a HUGE thank you. This blog keeps me straight, keeps me sane, and I appreciate all the feedback you give me! Here's to 100 more!

Awakening in the woods, part one

Erich and I celebrated our ninth anniversary by going camping in our favorite provincial park in the small town of Port Burwell, Ontario, on the northern shore of Lake Erie.

The last time we went, in May of 2007, was like a lifetime ago. We almost cancelled the whole thing because my knees were really starting to give me trouble and I was hobbling around with a cane. Earlier in the month, we had attended a Bo Bice concert in Buffalo at which I fainted from dehydration - a word to diabetics...do not forget to drink and eat when you're excited. I damn near missed Bo's show due to my own stupidity. I thought I'd injured my knee at that time because I really just went down with a *thud*, but come to find out there was very little cartilage to speak of - meaning, at age 37, I had what the doctors called "severe degenerative arthritis". They would look at my x-rays and cringe. That can never be a good thing.

Here's a picture of Erich and me at the Buffalo show where I fainted. I was not well and am now shocked at the way I look. I felt about the way I look, too. Tired, old, sick. (click to enlarge for all pics).



My poor husband had to do EVERYTHING during that first camping trip. He set up the tent by himself, unpacked the van by himself, collected water, cooked, did the dishes - all by himself. I could do very, very little. I remember him looking at me at one point and saying "You're miserable, aren't you?" Yes, I was. I felt old, fat, useless, guilty and not at all in the mood for a romantic weekend in the woods. It poured rain, too, which only further dampened my mood.

Of course, this time was different. I helped him unload everything and was so anxious to help him with the tent that I kept asking "Tell me what you want me to do", prompting him to hold up his hand and say "Give me a minute." LOL! But we got the tent and camp set up in a jiffy because I could help him. I felt really good about that, I must say.

The first thing I got excited about was my Normal Chair! Years ago, not long after we got married, Erich and I bought a couple collapsible chairs - one Canadian themed and one with a USA motif. Not thinking about weight limits at the time...I have never been able to sit in my USA chair. Till now. We scoured the Internet and stores in two countries to find me portable chairs to sit in when I weighed over 400 pounds. Most of the time, at first, I simply had to plop on a blanket. Here's a pic showing the two chairs behind me on a blanket at the beach:



And here's a pic of one of the chairs we finally found - this is a picture of my friends Paris and Nancy with me as we sat waiting for Lynyrd Skynyrd to start playing at an outdoor show in upstate NY. Slogging up that hill and barely making it was one of the several catalysts/light-bulb moments in 2008 that led me to have gastric bypass. Look at the supports on their chairs versus mine. Mine is industrial strength, baby!



And here's a pic of me last weekend finally sitting in the chair my husband bought for me about seven years ago.



We slept on an air mattress instead of the bed in the back of our conversion van just because well, I can! I can get up and down now without a problem. I froze to death, though - that was new. I was glad I brought sweats and a new sweatshirt I bought a couple months back. I had never owned things like sweatshirts and sweaters - I was never, ever cold before.

On Saturday we decided to explore the village a bit, visting the local maritime museum and historic lighthouse. I looovvee lighthouses, dude. I always wondered what it would be like to be at the top of one. Now, the one in Port Burwell isn't too terribly tall but I certainly never would've considered climbing it a year ago. Today, I couldn't wait to get up there! I took off up the stairs and giggled as the staircase got more and more narrow until we were basically crawling up a ladder. My god. I wouldn't have FIT up there before, if I had hoisted myself up the stairs to begin with. Erich took some snapshots, starting with me in front of the lighthouse:





When I got up there, I wasn't out of breath, wasn't sweating. It felt so good, I fumble for the words to describe it. Power and pride. That's all I can think of.

It was shaping up to be a great weekend already. Nearly every moment of the day I was consistently reminded of the new person I am. When I would walk to get fresh water. When I walked to go to the bathroom. When we walked around the village. When I sat in that chair. When I climbed that lighthouse, then wanted to do it again.

Next up was hiking. Lemme just tell you, Cindy has never "hiked" in her life. Like...why the hell would I do that? Seriously, that was the way I thought in the past. Why walk when I could drive?? DUH! Big red truck!! I mean, it was just obvious to me then and so sad to me now.

For years, I've heard Erich talk about a trail in Port Burwell that goes from the campgrounds to the beach. Literally, ever since I've known him. This is something I wanted to share with him. I hadn't been in the woods since I was a child, puttering around the seemingly endless "backyard" that surrounded my family's acreage in Southern Ohio. I just never had the energy, so I guess I faked the disinterest. I love nature, I do. But to get up from an easy chair and move my ass to see it? Nah, I'll pass. At least, I would've a year ago. Not today.

Something happened to me, emotionally, near the entrance of Ravine Creek Trail that I'll carry with me forever. It so startled me with its suddenness and intensity that it shook me up for a good long while afterwards. I'll save that story for my next blog.