Crunch time

Well, the good news is I lost five more pounds. So that's a total of 38 - two more to go to reach the goal. The bad news is, I only have one week left. So next Friday when I get on the scale, I need to see a two-pound loss. Also on that day, Erich and I will be making the drive to Detroit to see Dr. Genaw and get my surgery date.

As the appointment with Dr. Genaw grows closer, I find myself getting nervous about the surgery itself. It will be done laparoscopically and I'll be in the hospital three to four days. Then I'll enter a period gastric bypass patients lovingly refer to as "Hell Week". Now, I don't want to ever be voluntarily involved in anything comparable to being engulfed in fire and brimstone. This is why I never became a Navy Seal (har har).

There is a message board on Yahoo for Canadian gastric bypass patients at Henry Ford. People have said, about Hell Week, "I've never been in so much pain in my life." These are people who have given birth. Note I've never done that, either. I'm kind of a wuss when it comes to pain.

Then there's the psychological aspect of not being able to eat. For one week before and up to three weeks after the surgery, you don't eat. Just liquids - broth, Jell-O, popsicles. Supposedly, post-op, you are not physically hungry. Well, I often eat when I'm not "physically hungry". That could be one of the biggest challenges. It's a long time to not be able to eat ANYTHING. Then after the liquids, it's soft food only. It will be up to seven weeks post-op before I can start to eat somewhat normally again.

Everyone I talk to who has had the surgery says all that crap is worth it in the end. I intellectually know that, but these blogs might get mighty bitchy around week 3 (or week 1) when Cindy has had nothing to eat but Jell-O and chicken broth. Should be interesting to see how I respond to that.

A lot of people have asked me if I'm nervous. Hell yes I am. But I'm more nervous about having a heart attack and dying by the time I'm 45. Desperate times call for desperate measures. The one thing I'm glad about is that no one has accused me, yet, of taking the "easy way out". I have read nothing about this surgery indicating there's anything easy about it.

On another note, I'm really starting to feel my weight loss. My pants are much bigger now; my rings are falling off my fingers. I'm tightening the straps on my bras (TMI?). I get full so much quicker now. Last night the weather was so beautiful up here we decided to have a barbecue. I ate a cheeseburger for the first time in 2 months. Just one - plus a hot dog and a tiny piece of chicken. I was stuffed. Two months ago, I would've had no problem eating 2 burgers, 2 hot dogs and a piece of chicken or two.

I notice little things like that and it gives me strength. Lets me know maybe I can really do this. I'm scared, but I feel like this is my last shot to be healthy so I'm gonna go for it.